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+30 years and counting

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I was diagnosed with HSV-2 when I was around 22-23 years old, I am about to turn 53. I honestly did not understand what the skin doctor was telling me, "you have herpes, and it is very contagious" is all i remember. I was confused, mystified and then in utter despair when reality sank in. The gal i got it from I never saw again and the time spent together was a beer soaked memory. As long as i was not in a relationship, I did not have to think about it. I worked a lot, drank a lot and kept to myself about this "problem". Serious relationships finally came around, my nerves caused more OB's and I was so mentally devestated, i finally shared my secret with the mindset that the relationship was not worth having anyhow. My partner turned around and said "that's it? that is what you are so scared to tell me?" She was ready to share her life with me anyway, but in just a few short months i sabatoged the relationship anyway by my alcohol and drug abuse. 5 years after that I got clean and sober, been that way for 19 years, continuous. Married to a fine woman, she is fully aware of my HSV2 and sobriety and loves me as i am. I am a lucky man. Now, as for me, mentally HSV2 has never gone away, it is controlled by acyclovir 200 mg, daily. Occasional flare up once a year. I stay sober, healthy, active and live my life as best i can-I realize i cannot change herpes, but it definately can impact my world if i let it. In hindsight, i internalized this disease, poured alcohol and drugs on it and became angry, bitter and lost. Sober, I can handle most of life on life's terms, yet this diseaes I still need to talk out with another human that knows what it is I am feeling and saying. This part is missing in my life and I now realize it is a bigger secret than anything. I found this website and am looking to join a support group. i would rather meet another human being than type out words, so if anyone knows of a support group in existance on Long island that meets, please let me know. Hope this helps someone, it definately feels good to release some feelings out about this personal secret that I hide away from the outside world, along with unconscious thoughts I have.:p

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There are three sites you need to check out that are NY based support groups:




or call Long Island Help (516) 361-9338

Come to the "Chat Room" There you will meet many nice fellow Herpsters who can offer you their support.

Good luck!


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thanks for the info JB. I tried calling the LI Help line, but it seems to disconnect. At any rate I will be attending a support group in NYC. Having a support network for this ailment is important to have peace of mind.

Thanks for the info...

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Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

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    • LWestCoast
    • BPKU
      Ok. That's true. I would def. use protection but i was just thinking I should say something. I haven't made an decisions yet so nothing has happened. And also thanks for your response.
    • Xmk224
      Im thinking alot of one night stands are usually ppl you dont know. So i assume alot of ppl take the risk and have protected sex or even unprotected sex knowing they will never see thst person ever again. Especially if the transmission rate is low while using protection
    • BPKU
      I mean by that same logic anybody would be crazy to have sex with us ever  lol ppl we end up in relationships with are at risk the most aren't they? Since that would mean regular sex...  I'm asking to see if anybody has ACTUALLY disclosed to a one night stand because I've read on other sites that ppl have done it but most are blogs like the one here https://www.emilydepasse.com/eldsoul/2018/3/25/ask-emily-dating-with-herpes where basically the writer is responding to a question vs me actually having the ability to talk to the person who actually has the experience 
    • 2kroc
      http://www.eligiblemagazine.com/2013/03/14/lube-up-with-coconut-oil/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10813049 https://www.drgonzalezmd.com/avoid-secondary-herpes-infections-with-coconut-oil/   Coconut Oil has been shown to contain alot of antiviral properties. Herpes simply cannot survive in it, however I'm curious at how effective it is at preventing herpes transmission during sex, and if it'd make you near invincible. Herpes during sex is transmitted through skin to skin friction which coconut oil significant reduces.  Also if the virus were to leave the carrier's body it would get caught up in the layer of oil and killed. But how fast? Also, The lube drys out as you rub against each other, so you'd have to keep re-applying every so often.   Depending on the intensity of the sex, the coconut oil will get thoroughly rubbed into the persons skin layers, which'd mean the virus undoubtedly be on the persons skin and flesh. But, Theoretically, The virus should be dead/inactive due to being surrounded by the anti viral coconut oil, so it wouldn't even be able to crawl into their body to infect.   We need to get a bunch of lab mice or monkey, Infect 2 with herpes (Control and Test groups) , cover the test group in coconut oil, and let them have sex. If the test group shows less herpes transmission rates than that means that Coconut oil decreases STD TRANSMISSION!   Why hasn't this been done yet? Even if it didn't reduce transmission by 100%, 50% would lower std rates significantly.

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