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stormydaze

Broken heart

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stormydaze

Today my boyfriend broke up with me by saying that he's not on my level and he wants me to finish school and be the best me that I can possibly be. I am baffled by his decision because I found out on Oct. 10, 2011 that I had HSV2 and about a week ago I found out I got it from him. He swears he didn't know he had it. Anyway he says that he needs time to think. My heart is hurting because I chose to stay in this relationship knowing he gave me the disease, thinking that I can't change what has happened so why not try to work through the pain. He is the only person I know with HSV2. I was depending on him to help me get through this time and I feel like he just let me down. I love him a lot. And I feel so betrayed because we were broken up for about 2 months and we got back in touch and started dating again after his mom died of pancreatic cancer. I was there for him through his grieving process, cooking, cleaning, making him smile, but now he is leaving me after he has ruined my life. I feel that it is going to be hard finding a guy who likes me and may want to marry me. I feel all used up and my self-esteem has dropped below zero. I am ashamed, embarrassed, and really hurt.

How can I cope knowing that I am really alone with no one to lean on?

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j37

I know exactly how you feel. The guy who gave it to me is claiming he doesn't have it and waiting for test results next week. I'm sure he'll lie or get a false negative or any excuse to never talk to me again. I know how much it hurts to like somebody more than they like you. It's hard enough to find somebody you like who likes you back without this stigamatized, incurable, virus. The only thing that makes me feel better is that when "the one" comes along, there will be no questions as to whether he's into you and he'll accept you with H. I keep hoping for that too someday and I've seen a lot of people finding that on this site.

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luckyCat

Hi Stormy

This is exactly how I myself contracted H many years ago. Im sorry that your bf is being like with you. It could be that he may be having a hard time dealing with the guilt of having passed it on to you...or maybe he's just douchey...I dont know. I know it can be hard not to give in to the sadness that comes from contemplating a future alone, but try to focus all of that good, kind, nurturing behavior you shared with him on yourself right now. Work on getting your body stronger and healthier to help fight the virus. Lean on the people in this forum for support and try to find out if there are support groups in your area where you can go to talk about your feelings in an environment that feels safe. You are not alone.

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stormydaze

I want to thank you both j37 & luckyCat for responding. It's good to know that there are people out here that have gone through similar situations. I am definitely trying to be more healthy and stay in a positive zone to try and fight the virus off. I have to try harder because I have already had a 2nd OB, but it was so mild and went away in a few days. I am going to start attending a group next week in Atlanta. Someone on here told me about it. I love it here because everyone is so helpful and understanding. I am very grateful for this site.

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luckyCat

Sounds like a good plan. Just try to be good to yourself....if youre newly infected it may take time for your body to build up antibodies and get things under control. Try to be patient with yourself and above all dont beat yourself up over any of this. You followed your heart and things like this happen sometimes unfortunately. Im sure that attending a group will help in that you can talk about your feelings in a place where you wont be judged or stigmatized. You'll be ok.

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