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princess13

question about transmission

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princess13

hi everyone,

i'm new to this forum and im really happy about joining. i found out i had hsv1 gential about 6 months ago, and was completely devastated and still am. the guy i was with at the time said he didnt even know he had it until i found out i had it. he than got tested and it came back positive. anyway..i had recently started seeing a guy at even though we have not had sex yet, i am absolutely terrified to tell him eventually. is it possible if he performs oral sex on me that he can get hsv1 orally being that i have it genitally? i just feel that so much is off limits and the last thing i would want to do is pass it to him. any thoughts and advice would be very appreciated.

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JBnATL

You can have a normal sex life with this, I know, I have. HSV1 does not like to be genital and is almost impossible to spread. Some doctors even tell their patients that have it that they don't have to disclose because it is so rare to spread. And yes there is a very small chance he could get it oral or genital. If you take daily antivirals you reduce the risk even more.

Just ask him if he has ever had a cold sore. No one thinks cold sores are bad and almost everyone has had one. Then tell him you get cold sores but not on your face. Make sure he knows what causes cold sores and tell him if he does not. And if he has had them, even better, he has antibodies in his system which will act as a barrier for him getting it genital.

Come to the "Chat Room", there you will find many nice fellow Herpsters who can offer you their support.

Good luck!

JB

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princess13

thank you so much. hearing that helped a lot. its still very difficult for me because of the way i was told. my gyno. didnt really educate me about it and i had so many questions. she just said this is what you have basically and i left. it was the worst day ever. Im just absolutely terrified that he will turn away from me because of it. it has such a bad stigma attached to it. i havent had an outbreak since finding out what i had hsv1. do u get recurrent outbreaks? and you said you have a normal sex life. How did you tell your partner, or did you not tell them at all? again, thank you so much. joining this forum will really help me stay positive about my situation. it has taken such a toll of my self esteem.

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Movingslowly

"Herpes viruses are contagious. Spread may occur through intimate and personal contact, or through contact with infected razors, towels, dishes, and other shared articles. Occasionally, oral-to-genital contact may spread oral herpes to the genitals (and vice versa)". I never knew you could become infected with H from the highlighted words above. Wow, no wonder the transmission rate is only increasing worldwide. Found this on PubMed Health website. Like with anything contagious, I would be careful and prevent from spreading this to another person. I'm sure you have every intention on making sure he doesn't contract this from you, but there is always the risk with intimate contact as we all know.

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      Having HSV-2 has not bothered me at all for casual sex. I'm just avoiding sex during outbreaks, on suppressive therapy and using condoms every time with casual partners. Since my outbreaks appear on top of my penis, even during an outbreak the risk is minimal if I put a condom on as soon as I take my underwear off.  I guess it might be a slightly different case for a girl as if you have external lesions around your groin you could still infect someone even using a condom. And of course, condoms can break, which has happened to me over 10 times and caused myself to get infected in the first place.  I see it as a much more difficult now having a serious relationship, because I can't feel much with a condom on and really want stop using them. However, I don't want to put my new girlfriend to any risk - I would feel terrible if I infected her. 
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    • Burty
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