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My Interesting Situation!


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I have given my girlfriend genital herpes through oral sex, not knowing that it was possible even when you dont have a coldsore. Anyways she has Type-1 and I have been tested and have nothing. Just to note that I have always had coldsores. We are staying together and I am very confused about many things and I would really appreciate it if someone with experience would help me out.

First of all how likely is it that I would ever contract herpes? It seems that because I have the antibodies the chances of me catching it from her are slim to none. If not impossible. A nurse told us that as long as we dont have sex during an outbreak, condoms are not even necessary. Seems to make sense, RIGHT?

As for oral sex I am completely confused. I know that it is possible to get an oral infection from someone who has a genital herpes, but what does it look like? Is it just a coldsore or is it a much larger outbreak (even with Type-1). Since I have the antibodies what would be the odds of me getting an oral infection be (since I already get coldsores). I worry more about some sort of serious oral outbreak, since it is on the face.

If anyone is in a similar situation or has reliable knowledge on the matter I would appreciate your help.

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seems you need to read up on HSV

I think that it would seem impossible for you to have given your girlfriend genital herpes when you have tested negative for both HSV-1 and HSV-2.

I assume you have either had a culture or a blood test. That whole situation just doesn't add up. Unless you are her only partner ever- oral or vaginal - you can assume that maybe a previous partner gave it to her. Unless you both were tested right before you agreed to have sex.

Maybe retesting is something you should do to straighten out the confusion.

Hope you get it figured out, it can all be very confusing and heartbreaking.

Hopefully you two will be able to get through this together. Good Luck.

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Coldsores = herpes. Usually herpes simplex 1.

All coldsores are herpes, it is just the "nice' way to say you have herpes on your mouth.

It IS very possible to transmit herpes to a loved one during oral sex, assuming she never had coldsores before. Chances of you getting it genitally are pretty slim, since you do already have the antibodies, however, if she is having an outbreak, I would abstain from sex, and if you are having one around your mouth, abstain from oral and even kissing. It is possible at times to spread this shit. (but not that common, otherwise millions of people would be walking around with this crap all over their faces and bodies.)

herpes in the genital region do not look much different than on the mouth, especially if it IS herpes simplex 1. The only difference (especially where women are concerned) is that it doesn't "scab up" like it does on your mouth, so it almost looks like a little ulceration or open sore. Then it will just fade away once healed. But again, since you already have hsv1, then you will not get it any worse on your mouth or anything like that. But you MIGHT get it on your genitals. (just because someone has hsv1 doesn't mean that they are MORE contagious and will have WORSE outbreaks....she might as first while she builds up antibodies, but it is the SAME THING...herpes simplex 2 is a whole different ball of wax and strain of the virus..but in the same family)

I don't understand this part about someone testing negative for herpes 1 and 2? If SHE did bloodwork and tested negative, it is probably because she has not built up the antibodies in her blood yet. (can take about 3 months.) If you don't, then you better go get tested again, but if you have coldsores, then you have herpes....so I am a bit confused here by this part of your post....

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I do have coldsores, therefore herpes and antibodies, so the bloodwork I did not even do since it would be pointless. But I did get the swab done, which I'm assuming is the culture and I tested negative for GENITAL herpes. Sorry for the lack of clarity.

So you are saying that as far as oral sex goes, it can't get any worse than the coldsores I already get from time to time, there wont be any clusters or anything like that, right? Because what scares me is when I see pictures of clusters of warts on strange parts of the body, like back, hands, etc. Because I dont reallly understand how thats possible. So I worry that it can appear on the face.

And as far as genital herpes go, I can get it but it is highly unlikely. Correct?

Also there is no question that she has type 1 genital herpes.

Thank you for your help by the way

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If she has type 1 herpes that you gave her (oral to genital) and you "go down on her" then you are not going to "re-get" something you already have. The coldsores are going to change or be any different. Just because she has it genitally does not suddenly make them more virulent thus cause you to have this horrific lesions on your face.

BUT....you can sometimes spread the same virus to other parts of your own body. Although I think the anitbodies we have built up over time makes it hard to do, it IS possible. SO...with that being said, you can have sex with her and if she is shedding and doesn't know it or having an outbreak and unaware of it, it is possible to spread the virus to your johnson.

I think these cases are rare rather than the norm, I do not have much information on it, but I know it IS possible. Just like you are not suppose to touch your eyes after you have touched a coldsore....you can spread it to your eyes and cause ocular herpes. So just be careful, I myself would practice safe sex, that nurse who told you not to use condoms sounds like a moron.....unless you are not worried about spreading type 1 to your johnson or want to rely on your antibodies to protect you from spreading it....then you do not need to use a condom, I guess.

I am big on condoms. I love them. They are great. :D

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