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Olive17

By Olive17
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Olive17 Newbie

Olive17

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Posted

Hi,

I just read the most on herpes than I ever did in my whole life. I have had it for 10 years about.. and I just told my boyfriend of 5 months.

This is a great site - great support from members and very informative. I wish I knew more about Herpes before.. unfortunately my ignorance and possible "denial" and "fear" caused me to keep this big secret from someone who after so many men I have completely fallen for and am so in love with. You think it would have been the first thing out of my mouth.. but it's so scary, thinking all this time that I'm disgusting and that i'll be rejected. Now, some months later, it's finally come out and he's absolutely furious, as well he should be. I know now what I want to do and that is to keep him uninfected. I rarely had outbreaks, and when I did, they were minimal, so I stupidly thought the chances were slim. (you never know with this disease, is one of the many things I'm learning).Still I should have told him and given him a choice - he deserves that. But what I really did was risk his health. And that's so unforgiveable.

I feel horrible and I know there are people out there in both positions. I know what i did was wrong and inexcuseable. What do we do now? How do people go on with this? I wish we could fast forward in time. I have told him that I will take any precaution necessary and to have him tested. I have yet to hear back from him.

Anyway, I feel like such a disgrace to him and everyone. I'm reading about keeping my head up but until there are some answers I won't know. I am pissed about the guy I believe gave it to me (he denied it) and that I am a weak person and couldn't come out with this initially. This is how it gets spread in the first place!!!

I appreciate any thoughts people will have ..

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  • 3 weeks later...
SpecialGuest1234 Acknowledged Support Member

SpecialGuest1234

Posted
Posted

Everybody learns from their mistakes, right? Try not to beat yourself up over this too much. How's he doing? Is he talking to you?

Unfortunately trust issues can either be things that are easily worked through or deal-breakers. Which one has it been for you?

Angela :wink:

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