Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group
Sign in to follow this  
mskitty321

Blackmail?

Recommended Posts

mskitty321

Has anyone ever been blackmailed by someone you told? That's been a big worry for me since I was diagnosed. I know you need to get to know them before telling but people hide their dark sides. I just worry someone will try to blackmail me by saying that their going to tell everyone.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Stillhavemycats

One thing about blackmail, it is ineffective if you don't care that other people know the "secret". If you take the attitude that you don't really care who knows that you have a virus, then they have no power over you. Would you care if someone found out that you had the swine flu, or a wart on your finger... this is essentially the same thing. The only power someone can have over you with this is the power you voluntarily give them.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 Element

Sillhavethecats is right to say that people only have the power that you voluntarily give them, and if someone was to try to blackmail you with the knowledge of your diagnoses it would only work if you allowed it to.

However I think that the other question to ask is who in your life do you think would try to do this too you??!!. We all understand the shame an paranoia that comes with being newly diagnosed, and anyone in your life that cares about you would NEVER blackmail you with anything. If you put that shame and paranoia aside (it goes away in time I promise, once you accept you for you, herp and all), and there is someone that you think would do this to you then you need to ask, "why is the person in my life"? If you can't remove them from your life entirely definitely distance yourself. You don't need to tell anyone about your diagnoses that you don't want to/feel comfortable and safe telling, unless you are going to have sex with them of course.

Chin up chum. It gets better I promise :). I have had this for 13 years, and my life has been normal, dating and all.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
NoKingAmI

I have slowly told a few people about my situation since i have been diagnosed. And all the reactions have been surprise and understanding. One was an ex who instead of treating my like a diseased rat like I expected just outright kissed me and told me this didnt change a thing about me. He took a risk just to show me it didnt matter. (I later explained to him i had type 2 and he wasnt very likley to get that from kissing me :)

So yes be carfull who you tell, but i dont think you have to worry about blackmail. I think you will be surprised by how many people will accept you the way you are.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
devastatedbythis

only 3 people know that I have it me, the person that gave it to me and the doctor who dx me and my partner

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
PrincessInLove

I will tell you this, my boyfriend was devasted when he found out he had contracted herpes from his then wife. It's been 20+ years for him and he is still battling demons. He told me early in our relationship about it and he was so ashamed, I literally cried and hurt...for him. I reassured him that my feelings for him are not about a condition, but about the man he is. He recently came to me and told me that an ex of his had threated to tell people about his condition and he was worried how it would affect me..me...he was worried about me. Blackmail is ugly, but it only has the power you give it. Don't let a condition define your life. People may need to think a little because they may not understand your condition, but if they should be in your life, they will be. Life is hard enough without giving other people the power to harm your happiness. I am deeply, truly and profoundly in love with a wonderful man who treats me like a Princess. Oh yeah, and he happens to have a condition. I have lived a very dark and abused life for many, many years. I lost alot of life and it took me a long time to get away from it. I am not giving away one minute of our lives together to anyone. Please know, there are demons, skeletons and all kinds of Halloween decorations in all of our closets. Don't let anyone make you think your closet is any more full than theirs.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

Advertisement

Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
      67,406
    • Total Posts
      448,515
  • Posts

    • LWestCoast
    • BPKU
      Ok. That's true. I would def. use protection but i was just thinking I should say something. I haven't made an decisions yet so nothing has happened. And also thanks for your response.
    • Xmk224
      Im thinking alot of one night stands are usually ppl you dont know. So i assume alot of ppl take the risk and have protected sex or even unprotected sex knowing they will never see thst person ever again. Especially if the transmission rate is low while using protection
    • BPKU
      I mean by that same logic anybody would be crazy to have sex with us ever  lol ppl we end up in relationships with are at risk the most aren't they? Since that would mean regular sex...  I'm asking to see if anybody has ACTUALLY disclosed to a one night stand because I've read on other sites that ppl have done it but most are blogs like the one here https://www.emilydepasse.com/eldsoul/2018/3/25/ask-emily-dating-with-herpes where basically the writer is responding to a question vs me actually having the ability to talk to the person who actually has the experience 
    • 2kroc
      http://www.eligiblemagazine.com/2013/03/14/lube-up-with-coconut-oil/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10813049 https://www.drgonzalezmd.com/avoid-secondary-herpes-infections-with-coconut-oil/   Coconut Oil has been shown to contain alot of antiviral properties. Herpes simply cannot survive in it, however I'm curious at how effective it is at preventing herpes transmission during sex, and if it'd make you near invincible. Herpes during sex is transmitted through skin to skin friction which coconut oil significant reduces.  Also if the virus were to leave the carrier's body it would get caught up in the layer of oil and killed. But how fast? Also, The lube drys out as you rub against each other, so you'd have to keep re-applying every so often.   Depending on the intensity of the sex, the coconut oil will get thoroughly rubbed into the persons skin layers, which'd mean the virus undoubtedly be on the persons skin and flesh. But, Theoretically, The virus should be dead/inactive due to being surrounded by the anti viral coconut oil, so it wouldn't even be able to crawl into their body to infect.   We need to get a bunch of lab mice or monkey, Infect 2 with herpes (Control and Test groups) , cover the test group in coconut oil, and let them have sex. If the test group shows less herpes transmission rates than that means that Coconut oil decreases STD TRANSMISSION!   Why hasn't this been done yet? Even if it didn't reduce transmission by 100%, 50% would lower std rates significantly.
×

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.