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One Bright Day

Dating Anxiety

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One Bright Day

I have had several friends try to set me up on dates with guys they know who are single - but everytime the topic comes up - I freeze and find an excuse to not accept the invitation. I'm so afraid that my friends/co-workers will find out - that I always find a way to bow out. I just feel so helpless and am sure they must think I'm crazy - I've been single for the last couple of years - people always say they can't understand why I am single....

Has anyone had similar experiences and how have you dealt with this?

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luckyCat

Ive had this happen too over the years. Try not to worry too much about what 'they' think since in the end it really doesnt matter...and anyway..the majority of the friends I do have in relationships always seem to have something to complain about..lol! I just try to keep my dating life (as far as who i select to date/sleep with/etc) separate from my immediate friend circles. It can be tricky at times tho since it can be a disturbingly small world.

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SCG

I can relate One Bright Day. People gossip, it's a fact of life. I fear that if I tell one person in my circle of friends, the whole world's gonna know.

What do I do...I don't date.

I feel your pain tho.

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MPJ

The fear of the conversation has kept me out of dating since I was diagnosed. I'd hate to be responsibly for someone else contracting H.

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wastedhousewife

Tell your friends! You could probably use their support, and that will also stop you from missing opportunities. I was so amazed by how supportive my friends and family have been - and their acceptance really helped me through!

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graceandgrowth

I had my third date with a GREAT guy the day after I found out. We are still dating, it's been about a month and I'm still trying to figure out how to have the talk with him. I do fear others knowing, but at the same time, I'm getting to know him without sex involved and I'm getting the vibe he's someone who wouldn't blab my personal business. It's actually good that I'm NOT jumping into bed with someone, but rather getting to know him FIRST. Also, I finally broke down and told two of my closest friends and BOTH of them had similar (one HSV, the other HPV) experiences and I am so thankful I now have two close girlfriends I can speak with about this.

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Froggy22

I have a similar problem. Except it is one persistent friend that just had a baby and can't imagine why I'm not dating or want to date for some time to come. She doesn't know I have HSV and I am not comfortable sharing that I have it with her. Just explaining that I need to be alone right now doesn't seem to work. For some reason, people seem to think you are worthless unless you have a partner attached at your hip or invent reasons why you don't have someone. If it becomes too much of a problem then I will have to cut her off because ambush dates can happen and it isn't worth wasting some poor guy's time.

If your friends persist you may have to ask them to respect you being single right now and you'll date at your own pace or cut them off at some point.

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