realizing....yes I have to deal with it

[justmyluck]

My first outbreak was a year ago.....a facial lesion (I thought it was an eczema patch on my neck). I scratched and scratched, it scabbed without me even noticing any blisters! Guess what? I self inoculated and ended uup with an outbreak on my thigh. Now, a year later another outbreak on my hip. I guess I can't hide from it. It's real. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow to confirm the strain. But not that it really matters. It is what it is, and I feel like garbage. Will I ever stop feeling this way? I sure don't feel like it right now. I feel like I could never possibly be accepted by a man again.

[anie]

Yes, you will stop feeling like garbage. I'm not going to butter it up for you, as some days will be better than others. Remember that you are the same wonderful person you have always been and that you are worthy of being accepted by a man so long as he's man enough to understand and accept you for who you are and your health. And on those good and bad days alike... this is what we're here for.

[justmyluck]

Thanks

Thank you for your kind words. My head tells me to be logical and understands that really in the big scheme, this isn't all that bad. Also though, my heart breaks and I feel sorry for myself. I've managed the first step, ...to stop denying it, I believe now I have to move on to accepting it for myself so I can believe someone else might also accept it. The stats say 1 in 6, possibly 4 are infected. Hmmm, for being one of the most common STDs out there, why does it still hold such a nasty stigma? Maybe cause it's ugly and painful. Well that's how I feel. Time to move on.

[anie]

1 - - People fear the unknown. They always have and always will. It's not right. Remember your sex ed classes; personally, I only remember the abstinence horn and being introduced to different forms of contraceptives and I'm 25! In my opinion, there isn't enough education about STI's to dispel the social stigma, although that's another rant another time.

2 - - YOU ARE NOT UGLY! This virus doesn't make you so. It is painful and may make you feel tired, but do not let this alter your perception of yourself.

[Guest dangermouse]

Far from ugly, you are a champion who deserves praise for dealing with this.