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j37

Angry, sad and upset

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j37

Was in a relationship and haven't been physical with anybody for about 3 years. Met a man I really liked and had unprotected sex with him on and off for about 3 months. I also did it on my period and I have read can make you more susceptible to STDs (which I didn't know). After the third month of playing Russian Roulette, got a fever, muscle aches, pains and weird feeling on my skin. I got over my period only to start bleeding again a few days later. When they swabbed, I tested postive for HSV2. I have had no sores or anything like that and was told that after a week of being exposed to HSV2 is when the body exhibits the symptoms that I had. It was too much of a coincidence. I told the guy and he keeps claiming he was tested negative 6 months ago. He said he would get tested and never called or texted me again. I asked if he got tested a week later and no response. I texted again a few days later asking and he was almost rude as if he's gearing up to make it look like I gave it to him and he doesn't have it. He said that he gets results Monday but I don't know if he's going to lie or maybe will get a false negative. I just can't bear the thought of him testing negative and looking down on me like I'm some dirty whore who exposed him to this when I KNOW he gave it to me. I just can't believe this. I wish I had never met him because then I could just be living my life not thinking about how the hell I'm going to tell somebody I care about that I have this stigmatized, life-long, virus. I feel so alone, scared, angry and sad. I keep fantasizing about the doctor's office calling to tell me they mixed up my results with somebody else's when I know that it's not the case. I really do have this virus and this guy who I liked so much ruined my life and has given me no support at all. I don't know how much more I can take.

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cecil45

So sorry for that. The tricky thing about herpes is that you can actually have it without knowing it. So while it may look that he had given you herpes, another possibility is that you may have had it for years and your recent sexual activity triggered it. You are then called asymptomatic. Yes it is a life long virus, but you have thousands if not millions of friends here who have the same issue. Let us know how we can help.

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