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I am a 31 year old female. I was just diagnosed with GH on Wednesday. Not sure if it is type 1 or 2 yet. Will take blood test in a few weeks to cofirm type. Doctor did scrape test and still waiting for that too. I'm sure it's GH though. Suffering through my first OB right now. Here's how it goes for me:

Met someone 6 weeks ago. Fell head over heels for him. He moved to my state for a new job and i never felt happier. We had sex. He assured me he didn't have anything & I was just tested in June.

We had sex often upon his relocation here. Dumb I know. Unprotected. Well, we also had oral sex. I remember the next morning noticing a scab above his lip. I asked him what it was he said he didn't know.

Four days later I felt kind of sore down south. Then it got BAD!!! Thought I had a UTI went to Dr. peed and they said bacteria was present so gave me a prescription for an antibiotic. He was real supportive brought me flowers, cards, stuffed animals, the whole bit. Next it was WORSE! Thought the antibiotics gave me a yeast infection so i got Monistat. Hurt like crazy to pee. Became suspicious and started researching on the internet. Asked him again about the sore on his lip when I read that oral herpes can be trasmitted to the genitals. He swore it was a pimple. Next day, couldn't walk or sit. Called in to work & went back to the doctor...with the nurses rolling their eyes like i was being a baby and insisting that go home to let the medicines work. Saw the doctor & she immediately recognizes it as herpes. I lost it. She writes me an excuse from work, a prescription for Valtrex and a lydocaine gel. I call him to tell him the news. He's in shock! I asked him again about the sore on his lip and if he ever had blisters or cold sores...he says yeah, i get them all the time! So i think I have HSV 1 genital. I hope so because the research on line sounds like that's the better genital one. I also realize that since he gave it to me we should be safe continuing a relationship---some hope in my life!!! He calls me later to tell me he has something to tell me. Turns out he's married with two kids!!! Says he's separated and still wants to be with me...I so confused. Two bombs in one day! I feel like I should just stay with him because at least he can't get it back from me. Plus who will want me now!!! Depressed. Can't work. Can't eat. Can't sleep. Can't stop obsessing!

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Wow. Okay, you need to take a minute to breathe and calm down.

First of all, this is a man who has betrayed you to say the least. He didn't have the decency to tell you he's married with children! Is this someone you really want to give the time of day, much less stay with?

Second, you need to stop obsessing. Remember an outbreak can be triggered from stress and in doing so, you're not helping yourself. I can't type it enough: you are the same wonderful person you have always been. If anyone you meet can't accept you for who you are, then you're better off without them. Just because the two of you have it, DOES NOT in any way mean that you are obligated to stay with him. I can guarantee that you do not deserve to be treated the way he has treated you.

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Thank you for your reply. I feel so alone. I haven't told any family or friends. On top of getting this infection...I was betrayed by someone I thought I loved and who said he loved me. I feel like this initial outbreak will never end. I can't imagine getting on with my life. Going to work, hanging out with friends, having dinner with my family. Do I tell them? I don't want to. Can't understand why all this happened to me. The betrayal on top of STD is just too much to handle. So incredibly depressed.

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You don't have to tell anyone unless you feel that they have a need to know. My immediate family knows as well as certain friends who I know I can trust. A bit of a joke: a family friend who shouldn't know recently asked how I've been feeling, so I replied with "What did you hear?" ...He thought I was my sister, who has arthritis. Some people on the other hand, never tell more than a handful of the members of their family; I know someone who didn't tell their mother, who they were closest to. You need to decide who so far as family and friends need to know within yourself. Be certain that those you choose are trustworthy. You can still do all of the fun things you enjoy such as spending time with family and going out to dinner.

At the same time, remember that any sexual partner you may have in the future has the right to know and deserves to know. While the talk is something we all struggle with in some form or another, it needs to be done.

I hope you have someone you can confide in to help you through this difficult time. You're in my thoughts.

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    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
    • FeelingLost75
      How are you doing now?
    • TS4real
      May 13 ( day I will never forget).. a guy I was dating and I drank way to much and decided to have anal sex. We did use protection however, not enough lube, wasn’t done correctly and it was painful. So bad that I yelled out and fell off the bed. Anyway, oral was also performed on me anal and vaginal. Flash forward to 3-4 days after that. I was in the most intense pain I had ever felt. I went to a gyn she tool one look and said it looks like herpes. She swabbed me . 2 days after that, yes it’s HSV1 . I was still in pain, irritated anal area and vaginal area and It was unbearable.  today, I still have irritation and itchy and when I pass a bowel i’m in pain and the itch is crazy.     When I first was diagnoses the gyn gave me valtrex which I did not take bc I was in so much pain I could not move for 2 days.  Groin lymphs were swollen I had fever , tired etc.  I am wondering if I had taken the valtrex would it have kinda liked stopped the virus in it’s tracks enough to reproduce? Do people see a correlation between no more outbreaks and immediate initial valtrex  use ? I am 43, I never thought this wound happen as I am not a promiscuous person, I hardly date and I always use protection when I do have intercouse , have yearly std tests. I’m just so sad that i’m at this point right now . I’m trying not to get depressed but this is making my body feel miserable. I’m an avid runner and biker and mom of two teens. I feel like my life as I knew is over. I want to feel better already.
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