Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group
Sign in to follow this  
stormydaze

I am an emotional wreck!!!

Recommended Posts

stormydaze

I am just angry. Tired and fed up. My grades have dropped since I have been diagnosed. My bf who gave me this disease broke up with me. The past 2 years have been total hell. I get laid off from my job and still haven't found work. I have been on interview after interview after interview. My bf of 5.5 years takes off for good after I lose my career. We try to be friends but that's just not working out. I lose my apartment and car in the same day after 1 year of losing my career b/c unemployment doesn't pay for the lifestyle that I built for myself. After my 5.5 yr relationship and almost a year go by I find the courage to date again. Who do I meet, a crazy person who uses me for what they can get out of me and he breaks into my moms place and trashes it b/c I told him it's not going to work out. And after some more time goes by I meet the low-life who gives me this. What in the hell? I have to be the most unlucky person in my area right now. Then my family is having problems and they argue all the time that I get nervous and shake so bad. I am surprised I haven't killed myself. I honestly don't know how much I can bare. What am I doing wrong in my life? What did I do to deserve all of this pain? I am really having a f-ed up moment. I have been in my bed all day. I don't want to leave the house. I don't want this disease. I don't feel normal. I don't feel. I just don't want to feel. I am hurting so bad that I no longer want to feel. I've cried off and on b/c I am mentally and emotionally in pain. I can't even find my self worth when I feel this bad. I can't even find the will to love me anymore. I don't know who this person is.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
luckyCat

Sounds like you have a lot more going on that just the Herp. Have you thought about going to get counseling? I know money is bad right now but a lot pf places will offer a sliding scale and if youre paying out of pocket, you can write it off on your taxes (i think). I went and got counseling when i felt things were spinning out of control in my life...it really helped me a lot.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
stormydaze

I have counseling at school, but I honestly think my life is entertainment for her. She has ordered me to do homework and figure out what makes me happy and what is my definition of success without society's definition of success. I am trying. It's just this week has really been rough. One minute I'm ok and the next minute I'm breaking down. I think I am just going to sleep for tonight. I hope tomorrow is better. I've been doing yoga consistently for 2 years and I have not been to a class in over 3 weeks since the diagnoses. I am going to try to get up and go tomorrow. Thanks for your help.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
luckyCat

I think yoga is a great idea! It has had a very unifying and calming affect on me when i practiced it. Swimming is another good one to try if you have access to a pool. Doing laps can put a person in an almost meditative state that can be very relaxing. Hope it helps.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
CyanLuna

Aw man! I know how you feel... I went through a very similar experience when I was first infected about 5 years ago... Was with an abusive boyfriend, left him which included leaving my house, pets (& had lots of issues with work), not long after that I thought I found a pretty decent guy who ended up giving me herpes and lying about it. Had a horrible 1st OB but dr. didn't diagnose it properly... Fast forward to a few months ago (I have an awesome fiance and toddler) get the "sores" that weren't diagnosed - I ask for a blood test and get HSV2 results... Since then I have been battling with the frustration of this pesky little a-hole HSV lol. I get depressed, sometimes feel like I don't want to be alive.. THIS is what HELPS though: I have a free-flow diary of my thoughts, where I allow myself to say every messed up thought and feeling I may have, then I try to release them. I also try to think about the positives in my life, even if all I have is beautiful weather or a painfree day. It helps some, and I am sure talking on here helps some too. People suck, but keep your head up. When you get so low things can only get better. I hope you have luck finding a job and rebuilding your life, I have had to move 3 times in the last year and was almost homeless - and the only thing that pulled me through was my social support. Do you have any close friends you could spend some time with and maybe have a laugh? Also, you will find love. When you find the right person they will accept you regardless and you may just learn that they have H too. Feel free to message me, sorry if I seem to ramble :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
browneyedbabe18

The very best advice I can give is to keep going! Life sucks sometimes, but it's just a skin disease.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
      69,124
    • Total Posts
      463,627
  • Posts

    • T9000
      Sort of unrelated, but I remember a few months ago finding new patents filed last year for the einstein college vaccine. I wondered if they were indicative of new developments with it, but I brushed it off as probably not.
    • North Saranac
      I have not had sexual contact for at least half a year with a partner of more than four years monogamous, one non-protected encounter four years ago different women and then a few more non-protected over ten years ago.   One morning, I woke up after a having bad night time sweats (common) with a bad itch in my pubic region hair on right side about halfway between my penis and belly button. I did not look closely to later that night and noticed a large red rash, but don't believe I looked that closely. At some point I noticed a blister or something and tried to pop it and then walked away, I think being in denial I didn't want to look that closely, so I cant describe symptoms. This was on a Saturday or Sunday. The following Monday I went to work, where I do a physical demanding job al week, I noticed the area that had the rash showed about four areas that were infected (either cut or blistered) and would burn at night time during the week, They were located on my right side, directly where my belt buckle rubs. During the days that work week, my belt buckle would drive and rub in the area ( my buckle is metal square with pointy but not sharpe edges), I tried to pull my pants up and get the belt off the area but that was not always possible. After work that week, I took the weekend and then next two days off of work, the shooting pain evidently stopped and the area after a another week or two looked to be healing.  Week before symptoms: I have been under stress at work and the previous two days before the rash / OB I was working on a boat with another person, we were sharing work equipment and peeing with out washing hands (could he have had it and spread it to me through sharing of phones, equipment if he peed and then touch my phone, then I peed (sorry if stupid question)? My belt could have also been digging into me also, I have been wearing this belt for over a year and never had a problem. Currently, I took a Herpes 1 and 2 test from stdcheck using quest and it came back negative. Symptoms Dec 2/3 test Jan 21, negative results Jan 23. The area in pubic region is still red and appears to be scared but no open sores.   I know it is crazy but with the those symptoms I am still worried. Was that too soon to get a test? Is there any chance of getting if from a co-worker if they have it and touched the same things you did? Would you recommend getting another blood test in 3 months? Thank you for your input.
    • T9000
      Doctors will tell you this, but it's incredibly irresponsible of them, and it's advice that needs to be ignored. You always need to disclose your status before having sex with someone.
    • T9000
      The general public is just really poorly educated when it comes to virology in my opinion. Part of it though is just the fact that there's only so much information a person can remember and care about at one time. However I've always felt like HPV is way more openly discussed than HSV, at least in women's spaces.
    • Forest
      Here is the full science and documentation behind the herpes patent . RNA GUIDED ERADICATION OF HERPES SIMPLEX TYPE I AND OTHER RELATED HERPESVIRUSES   https://patents.justia.com/patent/20180000970   I hope this will help answer your questions.
×

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.