Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group
Sign in to follow this  
pink21b

30 now what?

Recommended Posts

pink21b

Hey guys its been awhile. Well I just turned 30 the end of Oct and I feeling a little sad due to the face I'm single and I thought that by now I would have more children and married. I know life sometimes don't happend the way you want. I just pray that I will find someone who will love me for me and H. The men I met, may it be thur a friend, online, on the street its just seem they just want sex and I'm not like like. I feel like I don't want to waste my time to date and they end up to be a jurk. This day in age Men are like little boys I want someone that know what they want out of life and love me and have fun..

You guys don't have to respone, I just needed to vent.

Thanks, pink21b

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Lifeis2good

I know most guys aren't as far along when it comes to knowing what they want in a relationship. I didn't figure it out for such a long time (mid to late 30s). What makes me sad, is that I had taken so many good relationships for granted for so long. I just wasn't ready. Then when I was, I spent a couple of years choosing poorly, until I just recently ended up here.

It's a fear I think we all share... being left alone when the music stops, so I feel your pain. All I can say is... there are good men out there with H, that will treat you the way you really deserve.

When I found out, my view on who I want in my life changed. Most older guys are better grounded... it's something to consider.. most of us guys don't really evolve until our mid to late 30s.. Just say'n :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
pink21b

Hi Lifeis2good, yea I think if i want a good man and know what he wants out of life I may have to go older. Sometimes I think older dont mean mature.. I just faith

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Lifeis2good

I know what you mean by that :) I'm around a lot of guys that still don't get it..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
catlover81

I know how you feel. I've had a lot of terrible things happen in the last couple years and just finding out I have Hsv1 2 weeks ago was the icing on the cake. It's like I just can't get a break. I was married and divorced, I have the stress of a house on my shoulders, my best friend of 10 years died in a tragic car accident and all I want to do is settle down with an amazing man and have kids. I have no idea where all the good men are but I feel like now that I have hsv I have even fewer choices, as if it wasn't already hard enough! I think I need to date an older man, and the dating sites are terrible, I don't want to pay to meet someone. Why is plentyoffish free but not this one. I guess it's for privacy issues? Anyways I hear ya...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
thissuxbad

I'm a 30 yr old man and I believe I will be receiving positive results for HSV in a day or two. I'm hoping for negative, but I doubt it. I was engaged earlier this year, set to be married July 1st. We broke it off. Then I stupidly took a lady up on a sexual offer. Mostly I did it to prove to myself that I was over my ex, but I'm paying the price now. I feel that if I didn't lose that engagement, none of this would have happened. Anyway I understand how you feel - I am 30 and single and facing dread and insecurity due to an unfair social stigma. I hope I meet someone again.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
lookingforhope

If it makes you feel better, I'll be 30 in may...no kids and have never even been engaged. I lost the guy I thought I was going to eventually marry when I found out I had H. I can't say that he's a jerk, I don't know how I would've behaved if he had it and I didn't. The day after I found out and he broke up with me, I went out drinking and got a DUI. So, there's my sob story....trust me, this all sucks royally for me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Lifeis2good

I know how everyone feels... I just got dumped by the girl who gave this to me. She was very selfish, cheated, and lied to me regularly. Talk about salt in wound.. Anyway, the one thing I do know is, I'm so much better equipped knowing I have HSV to clear my mind of the distractions that enter a relationship. If someone came into my life that was caring, loyal, and a good friend on top of it all... There would be no limits to what a relationship like that would mean to me and what I would do the make it successful. Prior to HSV, I think I took things like a loyal lover and friend for granted. So having said that.. I may actually have a better chance of succeeding in the long run.. That's the positive side.. Until I find that person though.. I am scarred of being rejected and alone. We just need to try and remove those thoughts from our heads and try and be patient.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
brit30

Hi all, I'm brand new to this site and have just read the thread. It's brought back some painful memories for me of my early 20's when I was learning to live with H, it really sucked; depression and downright despair sometimes. It's always going to be difficult, but it seemed to get me right when I should've been having a good time and enjoying life. I was extremely down about my propsects for finding someone for a very long time, and yeah I also told a few girls who politely bolted shortly afterwards, but eventually I did find someone who understood. Maturity is a big issue, but I feel the main factor is simply whether they are right for you. If it's love, or has the potential to be, people will take more time to consider it, talk to you and understand it properly and sincerely. My advice: try not to get too hung up on the ones that can't deal with it, they are just the warm ups for the real thing which will arrive soon.. It did for me, now I'm more concerned about how I'm going to afford to feed the expanding family we're creating!! Life throws you challenges at every step.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Fully Qualified Survivor

I' ve just spent part of Christmas with my brother, his partner and his 3 little girls. 6 years ago his partner told me that she would be married, have children and own her own house by 2008.

She managed it by 2007.

My brother lost all is hair in 2009.

It did grow back in 2010.

His kids are horrendous and his wife is ugly...but life goes on.

At least my brother doesn't have herpes :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
oncesunshine

Hey Pink21b, Life does not work out for most of us how we would have thought. I waited until I was 38 to marry and within one year was separated. I was devastated , starting drinking a lot, got a DUI, had to do piss tests, the most humiliating thing ever, failed 3 times because I drank too much water or was taking vitamins. They told me they could put out a warrant for my arrest and I hadn't had a drop of alcohol. I went into deeper depression. 6 months ago I got divorced and have been so happy since. I moved into a new beautiful apt, made so many new awesome friends and was on top of the world. I met a guy who I am soooo in like with. After having sex we had the talk about getting tested. I thought I would be totally fine as I had the standard tests 9 months ago. This time I decided to get tested for everything. Positive for hsv2. I am devastated all over again. I thought to myself this is the worst 3 years of my life. I thought for sure I would loose my guy. Luckily after spending a weekend together and doing research, he is ok with it. He was tested and is negative.

So although I am 41, divorced, no kids and my life is SOOO not what I expected, I am pretty happy and thankful for what I do have. I was only diagnosed about 3 weeks but with the help of this website I am feeling better every day. Maybe there is a better plan for me than what I had planned when I was 30....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Number7
I'm a 30 yr old man and I believe I will be receiving positive results for HSV in a day or two. I'm hoping for negative, but I doubt it. I was engaged earlier this year, set to be married July 1st. We broke it off. Then I stupidly took a lady up on a sexual offer. Mostly I did it to prove to myself that I was over my ex, but I'm paying the price now. I feel that if I didn't lose that engagement, none of this would have happened. Anyway I understand how you feel - I am 30 and single and facing dread and insecurity due to an unfair social stigma. I hope I meet someone again.

I have a 30/y/o son and I just had to write to you and tell you----it will happen when you "believe" it will happen. Please don't let this affect your confidence in yourself. If you "exude" confidence, a confident woman will be attracted to you--trust me. Good luck to you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
la10la

hi Im 30 as well. The person that i got gentital herpes was a rebound for me.. I did it for similar reasons, gotta move on and get past ex. I am living w this huge secret now. I have only told 2 friends and no family.. I have been told there is someone out there for everyone.. just hope thats true even with the circumstances

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
compton2atlanta

im hoping to meet a good woman im 31 and had h 4 to 2years and never even spoke on it tell now i have every thing but a women that i can tell the truth to

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
      69,124
    • Total Posts
      463,627
  • Posts

    • T9000
      Sort of unrelated, but I remember a few months ago finding new patents filed last year for the einstein college vaccine. I wondered if they were indicative of new developments with it, but I brushed it off as probably not.
    • North Saranac
      I have not had sexual contact for at least half a year with a partner of more than four years monogamous, one non-protected encounter four years ago different women and then a few more non-protected over ten years ago.   One morning, I woke up after a having bad night time sweats (common) with a bad itch in my pubic region hair on right side about halfway between my penis and belly button. I did not look closely to later that night and noticed a large red rash, but don't believe I looked that closely. At some point I noticed a blister or something and tried to pop it and then walked away, I think being in denial I didn't want to look that closely, so I cant describe symptoms. This was on a Saturday or Sunday. The following Monday I went to work, where I do a physical demanding job al week, I noticed the area that had the rash showed about four areas that were infected (either cut or blistered) and would burn at night time during the week, They were located on my right side, directly where my belt buckle rubs. During the days that work week, my belt buckle would drive and rub in the area ( my buckle is metal square with pointy but not sharpe edges), I tried to pull my pants up and get the belt off the area but that was not always possible. After work that week, I took the weekend and then next two days off of work, the shooting pain evidently stopped and the area after a another week or two looked to be healing.  Week before symptoms: I have been under stress at work and the previous two days before the rash / OB I was working on a boat with another person, we were sharing work equipment and peeing with out washing hands (could he have had it and spread it to me through sharing of phones, equipment if he peed and then touch my phone, then I peed (sorry if stupid question)? My belt could have also been digging into me also, I have been wearing this belt for over a year and never had a problem. Currently, I took a Herpes 1 and 2 test from stdcheck using quest and it came back negative. Symptoms Dec 2/3 test Jan 21, negative results Jan 23. The area in pubic region is still red and appears to be scared but no open sores.   I know it is crazy but with the those symptoms I am still worried. Was that too soon to get a test? Is there any chance of getting if from a co-worker if they have it and touched the same things you did? Would you recommend getting another blood test in 3 months? Thank you for your input.
    • T9000
      Doctors will tell you this, but it's incredibly irresponsible of them, and it's advice that needs to be ignored. You always need to disclose your status before having sex with someone.
    • T9000
      The general public is just really poorly educated when it comes to virology in my opinion. Part of it though is just the fact that there's only so much information a person can remember and care about at one time. However I've always felt like HPV is way more openly discussed than HSV, at least in women's spaces.
    • Forest
      Here is the full science and documentation behind the herpes patent . RNA GUIDED ERADICATION OF HERPES SIMPLEX TYPE I AND OTHER RELATED HERPESVIRUSES   https://patents.justia.com/patent/20180000970   I hope this will help answer your questions.
×

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.