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Jasmine1002

How did this happen?

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Jasmine1002

Hello. I was just diagnosed on October 31st and I am still in shock. I have no idea how I could have gotten this. If I got it from my ex-husband, he never had any signs or symptoms. He left in April and I have been with someone new ever since then. He said he has been tested and so I don't think it came from him. It's just so strange that it is showing up now. I am having a really hard time accepting this diagnosis. My boyfriend lives with me and he said he isn't going anywhere...but our amazing sex life is now gone. For the past 5 months that we've been together, we haven't been able to keep our hands off each other, but now, that's not the case. I'm very upset about it and I don't know what to do. I have no one to talk to about it. He can't understand how I feel so I can't talk to him about it. I'd love to talk to someone else who is in the same situation so I do not feel so alone.

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Kitty3443

Oh you poor dear! That sounds quite awful. I hope you can find the support you are looking for here.

I've done some reading (there's tons more out there!) and it says that many people don't know they have it. It also takes 2-3 months to show up in your blood if you haven't had any symptoms. So when your new man got tested, it might not have showed up because his body is resisting the actual outbreak well.

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Jasmine1002

I would like him to get tested but I am afraid to bring it up. He was extremely offended when I even suggested that it may be possible that I got it from him. I really hope he decides to. I mean, we did have sex before I knew what was wrong with me so he could have already gotten it from me if he didn't already have it.

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RealisticGal

Hi Jasmine1002 ---- :wavey:

You know, one of the things I've seen here a lot is folks want to know when they got HSV and from whom. The problem is, the nature of HSV (latency) makes it very hard to determine that if someone has had more than a couple of partners. It can sit around, dormant in the nerve ganglia, until it decides to pop up long after a person has become infected. Unless a person has had frequent HSV blood tests, it makes it very hard to pin down any sort of time frame.

Getting your ex and your current partner to agree to testing might tell you something, or it might not.

It seems to me he would want to know his own status. If he did, then the two of you could discuss strategies to lessen his chance of acquiring HSV if he doesn't have it. But you can't force someone to think the same way you do.

I hope things get a bit back to normal for you. It might just take a bit of time for him to wrap his head around this new thing.

:itsme:

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