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Lorri45

By Lorri45
in Newly Diagnosed

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  • 3 weeks later...
SpecialGuest1234 Acknowledged Support Member

SpecialGuest1234

Posted
Posted

If I understand correctly ~ didn't you tell your partner that you had herpes prior to having sex? I believe you did ~ so he knew exactly what he was getting himself into, ya know? Obviously he felt you were worth the risk, right?

Angela :wink:

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  • 4 weeks later...
peaches71684 Newbie

peaches71684

Posted
Posted

I know how you feel.

I just recently got back together with my fiance, while I was gone (1 Month) I started seeing someone else and I contracted herpes from this man. I know this for sure because I had my fiance tested when I came home last week. He is negative. He isn't sure if he can deal with this, but he is trying. I don't want to give it to him, but he asked me the other day, just as a thought, "Should I just bite the bullet and let you give it to me so that we don't have to dance around like idiots when we eventually try to have sex again?" I didn't know what to say. This is going to be so hard. :cry:

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Justice Honeycomb Member

Justice

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I'm really feeling this here, right now. I feel like I got a response that I wasn't expecting. I expected him to run away and be scared. Instead he just told me that he was really sorry but we'd deal with it. I will give him anything....my heart, my unconditional love, devotion, a baby....but I don't want to give him this. I'm scared to give it to him becaues he could be mad and our entire relaitonship could fall apart...and he knows I've got it. I've given him all the facts that I've found.....I don't have any symptons (for which I am greatful) and I will never know when I'm in "outbreak" or "prodome" to be able to tell WHEN to avoid it....I feel like I'm "looking a gift horse in the mouth" because I'm so worried about THAT when I've passed the first hurdle, because he's accepted it. Part of me wants to push him away....There's not enough answers :?

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  • 7 years later...
Stargazer8591 Established Member

Stargazer8591

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I'm really feeling this here, right now. I feel like I got a response that I wasn't expecting. I expected him to run away and be scared. Instead he just told me that he was really sorry but we'd deal with it. I will give him anything....my heart, my unconditional love, devotion, a baby....but I don't want to give him this. I'm scared to give it to him becaues he could be mad and our entire relaitonship could fall apart...and he knows I've got it. I've given him all the facts that I've found.....I don't have any symptons (for which I am greatful) and I will never know when I'm in "outbreak" or "prodome" to be able to tell WHEN to avoid it....I feel like I'm "looking a gift horse in the mouth" because I'm so worried about THAT when I've passed the first hurdle, because he's accepted it. Part of me wants to push him away....There's not enough answers :?

Exactly the boat I was in I would suggest thinking about it this way say the roles were reversed and he had this virus not you how would you react and how would you feel about him having it and how do you think you would react after you told him that you cared enough about him to take the risk if you did contract it? try looking at it that way. When you really really love someone for the person that they are thats all that matters. as much as us women like to bash men for all of their crazy quirks that is really one thing that I can say that I truly admire about men their ability to separate their emotions from everything and look at everything logically and rationally most men I've talked to really aren't worried about contracting anything if they really really love you it's like they have blinders on and they don't care. I remember I recently went to go get an STD test when I first started dating my man and I was freaking myself out because the guy that I dated before him I broke up with because you lied to me about everything and I was so afraid that he lied to me and I remember my boyfriend telling me honey I don't care if you have HIV. I love you I'm not leaving you. A mans true love is like a dog with a bone . I really wouldn't think on it for two seconds

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ZackW Established Member

ZackW

Posted
Posted

Let me tell you alittle story. Its the story of a vain man, who is very smart, very successful, very fit, a perfectionist. Hes careful, calculating, and takes all precautions with the ladies before fooling around with them. he never made a mistake with any woman he didnt love in all his years, except once.

One day, his cheating Ex GF gives him the herp. he thought it could avoid all the problems with her cheating, simply b/c he was careful with her, but in the end, you never have sufficient defenses with your 'trusted' ones, or friends etc. he learned 2 lessons that day.

#1 play with fire and you will get burned.

#2 Humility.

Being on the other side of the fence now, I can tell you I see things differently.

#1, EVERYONE gets herpes, even the careful ones. just be honest. if they cant love you now, I assure you when they get older, they will catch it from somebody else. then they will regret not being with u. I even wonder to myself, should I have got this deliberately when I was younger, as the very young who have it, seem to beat it into latency much better than the older.

#2, the select few who dont get it, are either very lucky, or living in a test tube.

and finally,

#3 everyone asked me why I wasnt mad at ex for giving me this life long affliction. and the truth is, her selfish behavior is what gave it to me in the first place. but also the truth is, I would have eventually got it, and I am glad I didnt get it when I was 50. if you have explained to your boyfriend your condition (and trust me in some countries its so common place, your truthfulness will simply be answered with 'so what'), and he is still with you, DONT BLAME YOURSELF. he knew the risk of putting his junk in your trunk. so if/when he get it, its not your fault.

but before your freak out, this will make you feel alittle better, if only b/c misery loves company :)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epidemiology_of_herpes_simplex

there are only 2 places in the world you can live in relative safety from the herp-1. North america, and japan.

oh and before you think thailand, your only safe from hsv1 b/c everyone there has hsv2 :) heehehehe

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