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Hey, this is my first post so before I go on I want to commend all of you for making this website what it is, the fact that your all dealing with your own lives and are still able to get on this and offer people support and advice through times of need is, and I dont mean to sound patronising, something truly appreciated, so cheers.

Anyway, im a 23 year old male, contracted herpes from someone who lied to me (the norm it appears), both types , 2 years back. Have been single ever since, and recently met someone who I really like and vice versa. She has no idea that I have it, and I keep trying to work out in my head what to do, not as to wether i should tell her, but as to wether i should just end it now and save having to tell her and let our emotions grow. We have done nothing sexual at all and no I havent put her at any risk whatsoever, but I care about her too much to let her feelings for me develop, only to compromise it with the truth, hence the contemplation of severing the ties now (amicably ofcourse) and remaining single until maybe one day they find a cure or something close.

Guys I dont mean to waste your time with my problems and issues but I seoirusly have no idea what the hell to do, I dont want her to make an informed decision that yes she wants to stay with me, and then regret it (being the best case scenario I can think of), yet on the other hand...welll..I really like her and for some bizzare, unknown reason she seems to like me..?

would love to get some advice from anyone and again, thanks to all of you for providing this to others.

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What exactly is your relationship with this girl? If you're not dating, I don't see the need to tell her. I can however, relate to your not wanting to get close to her as you have feelings for her; I have a crush who is still just a crush and has no clue whatsoever... Nevertheless, I would go with one thing at a time; you might want to discuss your feelings first and see where she is. Should you date and enjoy spending some time together, then I would go into telling.

Gayla first came to mind in reading your post because she has a wonderful site on Telling, and SpecialUser1234 has a website offering great information. Take the time to visit these sites first. Personally, I have practiced Telling, but find myself getting choked up about it when actually talking about it to my mom or aunt. I'm confident we'll get there.

I hope this helps you.


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    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
    • FeelingLost75
      How are you doing now?
    • TS4real
      May 13 ( day I will never forget).. a guy I was dating and I drank way to much and decided to have anal sex. We did use protection however, not enough lube, wasn’t done correctly and it was painful. So bad that I yelled out and fell off the bed. Anyway, oral was also performed on me anal and vaginal. Flash forward to 3-4 days after that. I was in the most intense pain I had ever felt. I went to a gyn she tool one look and said it looks like herpes. She swabbed me . 2 days after that, yes it’s HSV1 . I was still in pain, irritated anal area and vaginal area and It was unbearable.  today, I still have irritation and itchy and when I pass a bowel i’m in pain and the itch is crazy.     When I first was diagnoses the gyn gave me valtrex which I did not take bc I was in so much pain I could not move for 2 days.  Groin lymphs were swollen I had fever , tired etc.  I am wondering if I had taken the valtrex would it have kinda liked stopped the virus in it’s tracks enough to reproduce? Do people see a correlation between no more outbreaks and immediate initial valtrex  use ? I am 43, I never thought this wound happen as I am not a promiscuous person, I hardly date and I always use protection when I do have intercouse , have yearly std tests. I’m just so sad that i’m at this point right now . I’m trying not to get depressed but this is making my body feel miserable. I’m an avid runner and biker and mom of two teens. I feel like my life as I knew is over. I want to feel better already.
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