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Hi Everyone,

You can call me Essence. I have been living with genital herpes now for 13 years! I contracted it during my freshman year of college from a guy that I just knew I was in love with. There was only one problem (well many, but...) he was sleeping with me and who know how many other women.

The first few years were terribly difficult. I felt dirty, nasty, unworthy, hopeless, all of those negative emotions consumed me. After the first three years, things eased up. I felt better about myself and no longer felt hopeless. I also had fewer and less severe outbreaks.

Fastforwarding... I did get married to my highschool sweetheart. He was very understanding (not at first) of my situation and accepted me and loved me for the person that I am and not the virus with whom I share my body. We eventually had a baby, who is now 5 years old. The pregnancy was uneventful, no outbreaks during that time at all and the best part of it all was that she was born healthy. I did have a c-section delivery, but that was only b/c she was breech. Today it is safe for women with a history of genital herpes to have vaginal deliveries. As long as they are not shedding, then it is safe.

Present day... My husband and I are getting a divorce. Things have been bad for the last three years and even worse for the last year. About three weeks ago I had a recurrence and it was by far the worst outbreak that I've had in years. I'm under alot of stress and for me that's a trigger. I completed a round of Valtrex 500 mg twice daily for 15 days. Currently I'm in the "healing" stage, but I still not 100% clear. I've decided to go on suppressive therapy one 500 mg tablet once a day. Is anyone else using this method? If so how is it working for you?

Future concerns...dating. I haven't been in the dating field for over 10 years now. How will I bring up my past without it having an impact on my present, my future? I'm scared that future partners will judge me and think that I am a "dirty" person. I did not ask to become infected with genital herpes. None of us did. No one deserves to have to deal with the pain, fear and so on that goes along with it. I made a bad decision when I was 18... 13 years later I'm still living with it and right now I'm experiencing the same helpless feelings that I did when I was 18. I really need the support of this group.


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Guest dangermouse


I am about you age but looking at things from the perspective of an HSV- person.

I became interested in herpes because a woman I fell in love with had it. She had the courage to tell me (after one night together, but still, she eventually told me).

Like you though, I found that love doesn't last every time. (Actually, "evolutionists" they say it is designed to last only until you've had time to have a child together!).

Anyway, my interest has survived longer than the relationship, and I hope knowing that I didn't reject my girlfriend is of some encouragement to you.

Good luck.

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Essence - - I am on suppressive therapy and find that it works well for the majority; I haven't had many outbreaks since I've been on it.

Dangermouse - - We're so lucky to have your perspective. I sincerely mean that.

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I wont go into detail - you can read "sigh why me" under rant and rave. I will say that I entered the dating world after 18 years of marriage wondering who would want a woman with 2 kids. Although at the time I did not know I had GH I was still scared at returning to the single world. When I did meet someone and then learned I had it it was worse because now I had to tell him of my horrid marital past and how this all came to be. It was not easy. What I wanted to say was that after the initial 'here's my story' I got over my nerves, stopped crying, and looked honestly at the man I told this to. I realized if he walked away then it was not meant to be - yes it didnt make it easier but helped. So, go out, date, do things you like to do and meet someone that way. When you meet someone you want to be intimate with there is no easy way but to talk from your heart and you will have to talk about "you". It wont be easy but you will know in your heart you did the right thing and see how it lays. I read so many stories of people who had to summon courage and after they told their S.O. the story the person did not walk away that I get comforted. I hope this site gives you the same comfort. I hope in some way I have given you encouragement. God Bless.

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I am new to this virus, too & have been on suppressive therapy for only a couple of weeks. So far so good. Things have been VERY STRESSFUL for me and I haven't had an OB since my diagnosis a couple of weeks ago. I hear Lysine is good for the anitbodies in your body and you sound like you might need that. Hang in there and keep sharing. I've shared my story as well so feel free to read my rants.


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    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
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      How are you doing now?
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