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Hi. My name is Tavia and Ive been living with herpes for 4 years.

I was only 22 when I went into Jobcorps and upon entrance, they do a full physical examination. They test for EVERYTHING, and if you have something, they tell you. I tested clean, amazingly enough, lol. I had a on again, off again bf that I had been seeing for about a year or so and we had been tested together when we first started seeing each other. We were both clean. I told him that it was going to be difficult to see him every weekend since he lived so far from the Jobcorps and we did our off again thing. About a month later, a guy at the school asked me out. I was infatuated with him because he was, physically, everything I wanted. We started going out and about a month later, we started having sex with condoms. 2 months later, I got on the Depo shot and we stopped using condoms. 2 weeks later, we went on summer vacation to his mom's house in the desert. A week into our vacation, I started feeling the burning sensation when I was going pee. I thought I had UTI, Id had them before, so I thought I knew what was happening. a few days later, I tried to go No. 2 and I was in so much pain, I started bawling. The pain didn't go away so I took a mirror into our room and had a look see down there. I looked like I had been scalded and the blisters were large, with the white in the middle and bright red on the outside. I knew then and there that I had herpes.

Heres the kicker, I dont know where I got the information that it took 2 to 3 months for herpes to kick in but I automatically took the blame for the outbreak. I have always had a guilty conscience and my boyfriend took advantage of this. He used this to get me under his control, I should have seen the signs.

I only left him after he hit me but thats for a different forum, lol. It wasn't until our daughter was 5 months old that I found out from my roommate, who had a public health class at the university, that the studies done on herpes people showed that in most cases, it takes up to 2 to 3 WEEKS to show up, not months. The longest case showed up 28 days after infection. That was the last night Ive talked to him. I know now that he knew, long before we ever got together, that he had the virus, he knew that he gave it to me, and he knows that he could have passed it onto our daughter. There is no contact.

After 2 years of raising my daughter on my own and healing from that relationship and break up, Ive started seeing someone new. I knew that I couldn't do to him, what the ex did to me. I told him on our third date. We are still together and are seriously considering becoming intimate for the first time. Things are starting to look up for me, I hope you all can find the same happiness.

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Its very possible he didn't know he had it. They say most people who have it don't know and have no symptoms. I'm not saying this is the case, but its possible. The first outbreak can occure as early as 2 days after exposure.

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I dunno though, I am not willing to give a control freak, woman hitting jack ass the benefit of the doubt. Sorry. I am sure he DID know he had it, the freakin' prick. i can only hope oneday he ends up in jail and gets assraped repeatedly. I have no sympathy for this man.

You did the right thing sweetheart in getting out of that situation and away from this man. Focusing on being a good mama to your little girl! That takes a tremendous amount of strength and intestinal fortitude. My hat off to ya! You didn't wait around after this lughead hit you the first time AND you got your facts about herpes to boot...then got the hell out of there! I say YAY and wish more women in shitty relationships would get out before it gets worse or too late. (as in death!)

And I commed you for being compassionate and honest with this new guy. Sounds quite promising. I wish you and your daughter only the best of luck and good fortune. :D

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long time

Waxed, we had been together for over 2 years, we didn't have sex for the first month of our relationship, and used a condom for the second two months. I would have thought that if I had it first, it would have shown up and despite contrary beliefs, genetal herpes does not lay dormant for years. Upon infection, it will show up within 2 to 3 weeks, somtimes longer, but thats rare. Besides, with the nonchalant attitude he had about it, Im very sure he had it and knew about it. Most normal people who didn't have it and got it accidentally would have freaked out, even if it was just a little bit. It was almost like he wasn't surprised that I broke out. Ive done alot of research on this and so has my friend who is getting her masters in public health. While cold sores on the mouth may lay dormant, genetal herpes does not.

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You are quite welcome. :D


I was one of the ones who got herpes TWO days after having unprotected sex with my ex boyfriend. Prior to that, we used condoms. He had a health certificate showing him clean of HIV and everything, but obviously, he didn't have a clean bill of health for herpes. To this day, he acts as though he doesn't have it. He is such a douchebag.

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My ex to this day claims he does not have it - has had no symptoms and all that. I finally was correctly diagnosed (since I guess I am internal with only a severe yeast infection symptom as a signal). I had a condom-less night with my current guy and he 5 days later came down with it and yet I had no symptoms and my test years ago came back negative (so I'm a shedder). So, there is always a chance that you may not know. If I had not a new doctor who retested I would have continued to think the occasional yeast infection was just that and never knew! I shudder to think that I would have passed it on without realizing it - it's not fair I know but sometimes it's the case.

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    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
    • FeelingLost75
      How are you doing now?
    • TS4real
      May 13 ( day I will never forget).. a guy I was dating and I drank way to much and decided to have anal sex. We did use protection however, not enough lube, wasn’t done correctly and it was painful. So bad that I yelled out and fell off the bed. Anyway, oral was also performed on me anal and vaginal. Flash forward to 3-4 days after that. I was in the most intense pain I had ever felt. I went to a gyn she tool one look and said it looks like herpes. She swabbed me . 2 days after that, yes it’s HSV1 . I was still in pain, irritated anal area and vaginal area and It was unbearable.  today, I still have irritation and itchy and when I pass a bowel i’m in pain and the itch is crazy.     When I first was diagnoses the gyn gave me valtrex which I did not take bc I was in so much pain I could not move for 2 days.  Groin lymphs were swollen I had fever , tired etc.  I am wondering if I had taken the valtrex would it have kinda liked stopped the virus in it’s tracks enough to reproduce? Do people see a correlation between no more outbreaks and immediate initial valtrex  use ? I am 43, I never thought this wound happen as I am not a promiscuous person, I hardly date and I always use protection when I do have intercouse , have yearly std tests. I’m just so sad that i’m at this point right now . I’m trying not to get depressed but this is making my body feel miserable. I’m an avid runner and biker and mom of two teens. I feel like my life as I knew is over. I want to feel better already.
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