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dakota60279 Honeycomb Member

dakota60279

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Hi. My name is Tavia and Ive been living with herpes for 4 years.

I was only 22 when I went into Jobcorps and upon entrance, they do a full physical examination. They test for EVERYTHING, and if you have something, they tell you. I tested clean, amazingly enough, lol. I had a on again, off again bf that I had been seeing for about a year or so and we had been tested together when we first started seeing each other. We were both clean. I told him that it was going to be difficult to see him every weekend since he lived so far from the Jobcorps and we did our off again thing. About a month later, a guy at the school asked me out. I was infatuated with him because he was, physically, everything I wanted. We started going out and about a month later, we started having sex with condoms. 2 months later, I got on the Depo shot and we stopped using condoms. 2 weeks later, we went on summer vacation to his mom's house in the desert. A week into our vacation, I started feeling the burning sensation when I was going pee. I thought I had UTI, Id had them before, so I thought I knew what was happening. a few days later, I tried to go No. 2 and I was in so much pain, I started bawling. The pain didn't go away so I took a mirror into our room and had a look see down there. I looked like I had been scalded and the blisters were large, with the white in the middle and bright red on the outside. I knew then and there that I had herpes.

Heres the kicker, I dont know where I got the information that it took 2 to 3 months for herpes to kick in but I automatically took the blame for the outbreak. I have always had a guilty conscience and my boyfriend took advantage of this. He used this to get me under his control, I should have seen the signs.

I only left him after he hit me but thats for a different forum, lol. It wasn't until our daughter was 5 months old that I found out from my roommate, who had a public health class at the university, that the studies done on herpes people showed that in most cases, it takes up to 2 to 3 WEEKS to show up, not months. The longest case showed up 28 days after infection. That was the last night Ive talked to him. I know now that he knew, long before we ever got together, that he had the virus, he knew that he gave it to me, and he knows that he could have passed it onto our daughter. There is no contact.

After 2 years of raising my daughter on my own and healing from that relationship and break up, Ive started seeing someone new. I knew that I couldn't do to him, what the ex did to me. I told him on our third date. We are still together and are seriously considering becoming intimate for the first time. Things are starting to look up for me, I hope you all can find the same happiness.

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anomaly Newbie

anomaly

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Its very possible he didn't know he had it. They say most people who have it don't know and have no symptoms. I'm not saying this is the case, but its possible. The first outbreak can occure as early as 2 days after exposure.

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ouch Platinum Support Member

ouch

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I dunno though, I am not willing to give a control freak, woman hitting jack ass the benefit of the doubt. Sorry. I am sure he DID know he had it, the freakin' prick. i can only hope oneday he ends up in jail and gets assraped repeatedly. I have no sympathy for this man.

You did the right thing sweetheart in getting out of that situation and away from this man. Focusing on being a good mama to your little girl! That takes a tremendous amount of strength and intestinal fortitude. My hat off to ya! You didn't wait around after this lughead hit you the first time AND you got your facts about herpes to boot...then got the hell out of there! I say YAY and wish more women in shitty relationships would get out before it gets worse or too late. (as in death!)

And I commed you for being compassionate and honest with this new guy. Sounds quite promising. I wish you and your daughter only the best of luck and good fortune. :D

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dakota60279 Honeycomb Member

dakota60279

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long time

Waxed, we had been together for over 2 years, we didn't have sex for the first month of our relationship, and used a condom for the second two months. I would have thought that if I had it first, it would have shown up and despite contrary beliefs, genetal herpes does not lay dormant for years. Upon infection, it will show up within 2 to 3 weeks, somtimes longer, but thats rare. Besides, with the nonchalant attitude he had about it, Im very sure he had it and knew about it. Most normal people who didn't have it and got it accidentally would have freaked out, even if it was just a little bit. It was almost like he wasn't surprised that I broke out. Ive done alot of research on this and so has my friend who is getting her masters in public health. While cold sores on the mouth may lay dormant, genetal herpes does not.

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ouch Platinum Support Member

ouch

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You are quite welcome. :D

Also:

I was one of the ones who got herpes TWO days after having unprotected sex with my ex boyfriend. Prior to that, we used condoms. He had a health certificate showing him clean of HIV and everything, but obviously, he didn't have a clean bill of health for herpes. To this day, he acts as though he doesn't have it. He is such a douchebag.

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Lorri45 Honeycomb Member

Lorri45

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My ex to this day claims he does not have it - has had no symptoms and all that. I finally was correctly diagnosed (since I guess I am internal with only a severe yeast infection symptom as a signal). I had a condom-less night with my current guy and he 5 days later came down with it and yet I had no symptoms and my test years ago came back negative (so I'm a shedder). So, there is always a chance that you may not know. If I had not a new doctor who retested I would have continued to think the occasional yeast infection was just that and never knew! I shudder to think that I would have passed it on without realizing it - it's not fair I know but sometimes it's the case.

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