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I'm New and SCARED


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I just found out I have HSV 2, evidently from a cheating spouse. Divorced last year and in a new relationship. I've been dating the "man of my dreams" for 9 months and had to sit him down 2 days ago and tell him I have herpes. Neither of us have shown any signs.... He is going in for bloodwork today. Will he dump me? What are we going to do? I am devistated!!!

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youll be fine, if hes really the man for u hell be there.

when i told my s.o he said he would get herpes with me so we can still have some wild kinky sex...

just tell him all the info, and work with it. the only time ur diffrent is when u have a o.b

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Thanks! So far, he is being very very understanding! I was afraid he would be scared to touch me... surprisingly, I told him Tuesday night and we had "safe" sex last night. We have talked marriage a few times and I asked him if he could live with this the rest of our lives and he said yes. He has not been tested yet. He is going next week though. This is a great site! Wish I could spend more time here. Maybe I will this weekend. Thanks again for you encouraging words!

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You are so lucky and I wish you a long and happy life. You sound like you have found a great guy! I too had to tell my man, I got it from my exhusband and I recently found out. I was so surprised that he didnt walk away although I expected him to. I think this actually made the relationship stronger. Good luck I wish you so much happiness.

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sad all over again! we went to talk with his dr... after his doctor looked over my bloodwork. I guess I was hoping he would say, "you are fine!" He didn't!! They are now testing my b/f for HSV2. What if he is negative?? We are having safe sex, but I don't think he will ever have oral sex with me again. I love him with all of my heart, but I just can't believe a man is going to just "deal" with this. I am just devasted!! Do y'all have oral sex???? when?? is it ok??

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Guest dangermouse

My girlfriend had genital herpes (HSV2) and I went down on her for the whole 18 months of our relationship (excluding outbreaks which were once a month) without getting infected.

I think that HSV2 doesn't really "like" living in the lips and prefers the genitals (whereas HSV1 is the reverse). That doesn't mean there's no risk of infection, but maybe there's a reduced risk (anyone?).

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I gave up receiving oral sex; I'll only give so long as flavored condoms are in use (what wonderful things!) I won't allow someone to even think about it unless they're willing to think about using a dental dam. Simple as that.

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    • Ric12321
      it's actually because of bareback bj...
    • scurrred
      I had an IGG test  and the ranges were out of range and high  HSV 1 was 42 and HSV 2 was 19 so I guess it was accurate but the problem now is I can't figure out when or who I got it from. In 2018 to 2019 when I was with my ex I was STD tested but not sure if herpes was included but my ex was supposed to get tested but refused. I experienced some trauma with him and didn't date until a year and a half later so I'm confused. The guy I dated after the ex who didn't want to be tested I told them a week ago about my results he was trying to be there for me and understanding,I told him to get tested but to request a herpes blood test , because he had no noticeable lesions or bumps ever is what he said and I never noticed any on him now he has shut down all his social media and I can't reach him. Hoping he's okay, I feel bad because in 2018 I did have what I was told it was an abrasion that tingled but at my doctor the day I was tested they told me it wasn't herpes but I think it was only a visible diagnosis. I keep having it reoccur from time to time 
    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
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