I am new and might have herpes.

[dasin]

I posted it under Autobiography ... maybe I should post here instead.

I am new ? just sign up a few minutes ago.

Here is my story. I had been with other guys in the past, but I was abstinent for a year before meeting with my current boyfriend 5 years ago. My current boyfriend was a virgin at that time and he has never been with anyone, except me. I never had any symptom of herpes until two weeks ago. After we had sex two weeks ago, I started to have itchiness. A couple days later, I started to feel pain and discomfort in the genital area. Another few days later, I started to feel ?raw? in the genital area. Then, I started to have blisters and they opened up a few days later. At first, I thought I was allergic to the new condoms, but once the blisters showed up and opened up, I knew it?s something serious. I went to see my doctor today and she told me it looks like I have herpes. OMG! I don?t know what to do. My doctor orders both culture and blood tests for herpes which I will need to wait for a week for the results. As soon as I left the doctor office, I searched the articles about herpes and I think every single symptom I have perfectly matches the symptoms of herpes.

I asked my boyfriend if he was with anyone and he denied. Honestly, I believe him and I don?t have any doubt on him. So, would it be possible that I have herpes for over 6 years without knowing and suddenly it has outbreaks? If that?s the case, I would feel awful. What if he got herpes from me? If that?s the case, I would be very guilty and ashamed.

Any suggestions or opinions are deeply appreciated. Thanks in advance.

[anie]

It is very possible to have Herpes and not know it. My first outbreak was three years ago, and I finally received an official diagnosis last year (long story, posted on this site somewhere). The time between my first outbreak and official diagnosis, I had no idea I was carrying Herpes.

My advice is for you to wait for your test results. Abstain from your boyfriend until then. Depending on the results, you could suggest that he get tested as well to determine his status. I turned to my partner when I was diagnosed and said, "let's make sure you don't have it." Since I was getting blood tests for typing, I also told him that we could do the blood testing together, which we did. Don't feel ashamed to discuss your concerns with your boyfriend. You've been together for five years, so he should be understanding of your concerns.

Good luck!

-Anie

[dasin]

Is it possible that I have herpes for over 6 years without any symptoms and suddenly I have the first OB? My physician told me that it's very unlikely that I have the first OB 6 years after being infected and that's why she thinks my bf might have a relationship with someone else other than me. I told my physician that I trust my bf and there's no reason for me to doubt his faithfulness. She says she doesn't mean to accuse him but it's too suspicious.

I asked my bf again last night and he ensures me he has never had any relationship with anyone, except me. Actually, he got very angry because he says I don't trust him. I was heart broken. I mean I am not in good mood in waiting for the lab results and it's very likely that I have H. I am trying to make myself to "accept" the facts even though it's not easy. If I have it, I just have to learn how to live with it. He thinks H is nasty and dirty. He got very scared when I first told him. I feel like he's not being supportive when I need him the most. Maybe I am asking for too much?

I also ask him to get tested. He?s going to do that in two weeks during his scheduled annual exam. I hope he doesn?t have H no matter whether I have it or not. If it turns out I have H and he doesn?t, I might suggest him to leave me. I really don?t want to give this disease to him which is absolutely unfair to him. If it turns out that he has and I don?t have, I will be there for him and support him. If it turns out that we both have, I know he will hate me for getting him infected. I would feel very awful. The possibility of both of us don?t have is very slim.

[anie]

Is it possible that I have herpes for over 6 years without any symptoms and suddenly I have the first OB?

That I'm not too sure of. I'm not an MD, but then again we've discussed how misinformed they can be.

I asked my bf again last night and he ensures me he has never had any relationship with anyone, except me. Actually, he got very angry because he says I don't trust him.

Ah, the mistrust card! Any guys care to comment here? Dasin, if he's pulling that one out, I wouldn't trust him any more!

I am trying to make myself to "accept" the facts even though it's not easy. If I have it, I just have to learn how to live with it.

If you indeed do have herpes, you will learn how to live with it in your own time. We all do. This is not an easy thing to learn to live with, but fortunately we have discussion boards with wonderful people to talk to.

He got very scared when I first told him.

I would get scared if I lied to someone and it came back to bite me in my bottom, too!

Maybe I am asking for too much?

REALLY? You sincerely feel that you are asking too much of someone by asking for their support? If he decides not to be supportive would you then stay with him? For me, that would be reason enough to dump his sorry a*% . He's supposed to care about you and you feel that support is asking too much? I'm sorry to go off on such a rant here, but that's not too much. You deserve someone who will be supportive of you and understanding. Go read some of dangermouse's posts; I'm sure he's said the same thing at one time or another.

If it turns out I have H and he doesn?t, I might suggest him to leave me.

Okay, a few things here: 1 - - I can totally understand your perspective. When I was officially diagnosed, I pushed my boyfriend at the time away, but he fought me on that. Never once did I suggest he leave. 2 - - Why would you suggest that he leave? Give him the chance to respond to your news; don't go making this decision for him. If he wants to leave, I can assure you he most likely will.

I really don?t want to give this disease to him which is absolutely unfair to him. If it turns out that he has and I don?t have, I will be there for him and support him.

Wow. You will support him, yet you stated earlier that you feel by asking for his support you are asking for too much? Do you now understand why I went off on a rant? Also, we can all relate to your concern about passing this on to him. This just goes to emphasize practicing safer sex.

You're in my thoughts.

-Anie

[dasin]

Initial lab result

Thanks, Annie. The result for HSV IgG is out. It's 0.04 which is undetectable. Good news for me! The result for HSV IgM and culture are not available yet. I am so happy to find out the result for IgG test. Since I did not have sex with anyone, except my bf for the past 6 year who also did not have sex with anyone except me, the result for culture should be negative. If it's positive, it will tell me there is a chance that he's not faithful.

For the safety reason, I will redo all the tests again in a few months, just to make sure I really do not have H. My physician was so sure that I have H a couple days ago when I was in her office. It's my first time to see her. My regular doctor is off this week because his wife just has a baby on Sunday. That's why I was seen by a different physician. I will keep you all updated how the rest of the lab test results.

Thanks for everyone's supports through your posts and PM. I really appreciate that. It helps me so much these couple days to have some people to talk to. I was going to talk to my best friend, but my bf says I should hold on that until the lab results are out. Thanks again to everyone!!!