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in2theblue

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in2theblue

Hello Everyone,

I'm new to the forum.. I was diagnosed early November with Genital Herpes HSV-1. I have spoken to my doctor about educational information and I am constantly learning about the herpes virus as I go from there. I just wanted to make clear that, WE ARE NOT OUR VIRUS..WE ARE PEOPLE!.. At first, I cried..I was terrified..I was upset. My boyfriend of 5 years cheated on me, and we had broken up this past September. As if that wasn't hard enough, late October I had an outbreak..it was the worst pain in my life so I immediately got tested. My (now ex) boyfriend of 5 years was my only partner I was ever with and so when my test came back positive, he was the first I turned too (especially as a cheater).. We had both been previously screened at the beginning of the year and tested negative for all stds. So i am positive him and his infidelity is the reason I now have to live with HSV-1 for the rest of my life. Whats worse, is because I was tested during an outbreak I was positive, and by the time I told my ex he needed to be tested..He did and came back negative... As you know Herpes is not found through blood or urine tests..it can only be tested by testing your lessions (sores) during an outbreak. So he thinks he is negative, and because he is too ignorant also thinks that I caught this from someone else. I am heart broken, that after 5 years he would think I would be sleeping around with random people shortly after we broke up..which is DEFINITELY NOT THE CASE!... anyways his whole family is convinced he is negative.. I went to my doctor thinking this may be a false reading on my part.. my doctor adviced me that if I tested now that my outbreak is over, I would also test negative for hsv-1. Herpes virus is a very sneaky virus...which explains why 1-4 people have it. Due to my ex boyfriends ignorance he will now continue to infect others because he doesnt have the proper education about how this is tested and spread. I feel guilty that I cant tell him that his test was a false negative, but the best thing I can do is move on with my life and let him live his in ignorance. I know I shouldnt care what people think but I do, his family believes I got it elsewhere and that their son isnt the culprit. The only way he will find out he has it is when one of his victims comes out with an outbreak. Until then, they will continue to believe this is my issue and he isnt at fault. I know this sounds like the perfect revenge on a cheating ex. but it is somewhat bittersweet. i am not dirty, i did not sleep around, it was just a very unfortunate event of bad luck. So this is my situation, and I am just needing to find someone that is dealing with having HSV-1 or 2.. It would be nice to find that connection to talk with someone. Thanks for reading. i look forward to meeting you all!

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