This is my first post. I need an honest unbiased perspective on this situation concerning my current partner. I was diagnosed with herpes during a marriage in which I was faithful but he was not. It was about 7 or 8 years in that I found out about the infidelity and got tested for everything. I was + for herpes. The doctor told me there was no way to tell just how long I'd had it. To this day I dont understand why but after the doctor confirmed the diagnosis it seemed like the outbreaks got worse. I eventually went on medication. The cheating husband told me he didnt have that sh#! And treated me as if I somehow got it someother way. He eventually left me. At the age of 32 I got involved with a man several years younger than me. He showed me hiv negative status papers on our first date. I told him that I didnt have Hiv either. We later had unprotected sex several times. I did mention but did not insist on protection. I neglected to tell him about the herpes. As embarrassing as this is to admit; I didnt see a future with him, didnt really know him, and was pretty much rebounding from a 10 year long terrible marriage. Afew weeks into it as things seemed to be getting more serious I fearfully told him that I have herpes. He was a little concerned but said it didnt matter. He wanted to pursue the relationship. Afew weeks after that he got an outbreak. We went to the doctor. He tested positive for it. He was angry with me. He was furious and to this day he feels betrayed. It's been 7 years now that I have been with him. Seven hard years. He is controlling, and abusive. He claims that he loves me- I feel that he really doesn't because of the abuse. He has honestly hurt me in some of the worst ways imaginable but everytime I try to leave or express how hurt I am he brings up "the herpes". I have apologized to him several times but it seems like no amount of apologizing will do. He says that I never "really" apologized. He says this because I have told him that I shouldn't have had sex with him period. That i regret having gotten involved with him not just because of the herpes but because of the way my life has gone down hill in many ways since he moved in. He wants sex all the time. Nearly every morning and night and it can lasts for hours. And there is no saying no. It has been this way through out the relationship. Before and after the herpes became an issue. He goes down on me even when I tell him not to- even when I tell him that I have an outbreak. He says it doesnt matter. That i shouldnt care about that since we already both have it. Its like at times it doesnt matter but at times he hates me for it. He even told my 12 year old daughter that I gave it to him once when I'd tried to end the relationship. I am sorry that he contracted this from me. Terribly sorry. My question is what am I supposed to do now. I am so confused. I have gone through so much with this person. Should herpes even be a factor in such an abusive situation? I honestly dont know how to handle this situation. He's here now. I have to go. Someone please give me some input. Thank you.
I was just diagnosed yesterday. I’m 27 years old & as soon as I told my boyfriend he said we need a “break” which I know means he blames me & we are done. I feel completely alone and not at all optimistic about future relationships. So I understand how your feeling.
I just got my non official diagnosis yesterday & I completely understand where your coming from with the suicidal thoughts. I do think this disease is going to ruin a lot for me. If it wasn’t for my son I think I would be worse then I am. All I can do is cry but I know my son needs me to get through this & live as normally as I can. I’m sure u also have people who need u
According to the National Institutes of Health in the USA, about 90 percent of adults have been exposed to the virus by age 50. If I recall correctly, around 80% have no symptoms.
According to World Health Organisation about 67 percent of the global population are infected with HSV1.
More stats: About one out of five people in the United States has genital herpes.
That’s more than 50 million people in the United States who have genital herpes.
85% of people with genital herpes don’t know they have it.
So... is God mad at you, or is it just part of being alive on this planet? Life is a test.
And you have it to deal with. So? So many people have much more trying tests.
It's not your circumstances that define you, it's your attitude to them. Think of people in concentration camps who found joy and looked to God.
My God is one of love. Enough love to let me, to corrupt a book title, slouch towards Bethlehem. If I fall but pick myself up, that's what counts. If I wallow or wither, that brings to mind the story of sowing seeds in Matthew 13.
There two forces in the universe. One is Love, the other Fear. Which do you choose to work with? Embarrassment is fear, self-loathing is fear. Just don't be an ass...