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in2theblue

Learning to forgive my giver...

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in2theblue

I'm having a rough time forgiving my ex bf (we broke up cuz he cheated.. Not cuz of herpes) I was diagnosed after we broke up about a month after I had symptoms.. He was the only person I've ever been with and is prone to cold sores.. I told him immediately upon my diagnoses to which he said he got tested and was negative. Anyways he never said what he was tested or showed me any results and when it comes down to it I don't really care if he is in denial.. I'm just having a hard time knowing I got it from him especially after the cheating and the face that he doesn't believe he gave me it. I believe I can forgive him because he probably doesn't kno he's a carrier but I'm bothered he thinks I got it from someone else when he is the only person I was ever with. And his family believes the same. I kno I shouldn't care what he thinks.. But i do deep down. Anyways I'm just venting. Just need help in someway To shake the feeling off. Anyone else forgive their giver? If so how and what did u do to cope? I know I am not a dirty person I got H from my stupid ex bf who had cold sores but no visible ones.. And because him and his family r so ignorant he will just spread the virus. I didn't sleep around.. Or do anything wrong but I feel bad knowing whatever test he got done was negative and his family and him are too stupid to educate themselves about proper timing and sensitivity to testing. I just don't think it's. My problem to inform them.. I'd like to move on.. It's just hard cuz I feel like I have unfinished business and the anxiety of that is eatin at me.

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cecil45

I was devastated too when I learned that my exbf gave me herpes when he knows it is viral even if he doesn't have an active outbreak. I was young then and I felt that my dating life is over. I even considered doing legal actions for him to finance my medical expenses. I would say that only time and understanding helped me overcome my anger to him. I learned that herpes is not the end of the world and that I could limit my outbreaks by maintaining a healthy perspective in life. That includes forgiving him and all those guys who rejected me for what we have.

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Cheri

I am trying to cope with the fact that my ex gave me herpes without my knowledge or consent. At blue, he probably does know he has HSV2, he just doesnt want to admit it. Denial like you said. I can nOT forgive and I am suing the jerk who gave it to me because it was NOT okay that he knew and did NOT tell me. I want to stop others from taking away an individual's CHOICE. The lawsuit is difficult, time consuming and a pain in the ass. My whole life is under inspection. BUT i am giving a VOICE to those who want the intentional transmitting of herpes to STOP. It has changed my life forever. My husband and I rarely are intimate and when we are he is so nervous he can not wait to get the condom off and wash himself. It makes me feel dirty. And I suffer with the OBs. You all KNOW.

I want to forgive but it is hard when I cant forget.

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in2theblue

Actually I got hsv1 from him... Only he had a cold sore prior and when it was gone I assumed things were ok.. And boom! We break up and a month later I find out I have genital hsv1... I don't even know if he got tested.. I'm assuming he did but I don't know how he did, it's spread skin to skin and he is the only guy that's ever been "down there".. And when he said he was negative I just knew in my heart he wasn't... I know I got it from him.. But u know it just doesn't make things better... I didn't reply back via text when he said he was negative.. I just figured I did my part in telling him and if he doesn't do the research to kno he is positive or that he can have a false negative then that's his problem... I wanted legal action also.. But in Canada we don't really have medical bills unless for prescriptions if u have no work benefits. I know my ex has no money so I figured I would just accept the fact and no amount of $ could take away hsv anyway. sadly, My bittersweet revenge will be when he spreads it to his new gf that he cheated on me with.. Cest la vie I guess? It kills me that after how long I knew him and his family that they believe I contracted this thru someone else.. I am

Not the one that was unfaithful. That makes me feel sad and upset.. Especially when I kno what they say doesn't matter anyway.. I know the truth. Anyways.. Just so many loose ends, it's hard to move on that way.. BUT.. I have no choice. Atleast the pain of the breakup will give me time to just get to kno myself again before I decide to date and it will also give me the time to accept things I can't change, so when the time comes and I am in a relationship I will kno how to go about letting a new partner know. I don't feel dirty, I did nothing wrong, I've had 1 sexual partner my whole life.. It's really not fair. I hope they come out with something to atleast stop the spreading of hsv, I don't much care for a cure..

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