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Palehorse

First relationship after diagnosis...

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Palehorse

After six months of perpetual outbreaks, I was becoming quite pessimistic about the possibility of dating. I did not think any guy would want to come near me, and I am already a handful to begin with. Suffering from depression and prone to fits of anxiety, as well as an utter lack of self-esteem, it has been hard enough finding someone to begin a relationship with. I just met a boy in one of my classes, and the first night we hung out he got a little handsy and I had to dissuade him from going any further. His first thought was that I was a rape victim, because I started crying and would not tell him why. Eventually, however, I realized that this reaction would only make him think that the virus was worse than it really is (although I was only diagnosed 6 months ago so I am still suffering from emotional shock). So, I told him straight up. Contrary to my belief that I would now repel all males, he accepted it, and now we are in a relationship. He says he will like to be sexually intimate once my outbreak clears up, but I am so worried I will give him the virus. I do not know if I should continue the relationship, or just give up and join a convent. Any suggestions or comments are welcomed and appreciated. Thanks for reading.

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skittles8

I understand your worries, i haven't started dating since i've been diagnosed but i know i'll be worried about giving someone else the virus too. You did the right thing by telling him, as long as he knows the risks and possibilities that he may contract the virus then you should try not to worry so much. I know that's probably way easier said than done though. Use protection and if you're not on daily suppressants, maybe that's something you should talk to your doctor about. From what i've read on this site, they help reduce the risk of transmission. Good luck to you! and congrats on finding someone willing to accept you for who you are, regardless of this crappy virus!

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Cheri

skittles8, I agree with you! Palehorse, congratulations on finding an excellent guy! I am married, but my husband is negative, so I too am terrified I will pass the virus to him. I take my meds, but it has impacted our sex life. If i said it didn't i would be lying. We use condoms every time and as soon as we are done, he washes up right away. I understand but i still feel dirty. He never makes me feel that way though. My husband kisses me and is very affectionate. However, he won't perform oral on me anymore and i can not really blame him. But it totally sucks because he was getting so good at it before my diagnosis. But I am just happy that he stayed with me.

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