Newly Dx'd, Intro & Questions

[ginny7088]

Hello.

My partner and I are in our late 30s and have been involved in a loving monogamous relationship for a year. We have both had previous relationships, but neither of us has ever had herpes symptoms, so we weren't concerned about herpes when we eliminated condoms. Then recently, I had a vicious outbreak, we were both tested and both came back positive for HSV-2. Since my outbreak was consistent with the description of a 1st outbreak, we are presuming that he is an asymptomatic shedder.

Now that I've pretty much recovered from the OB.. I'm wanting to resume our sex life, but I'm nervous. I can't find much information about sex between 2 infected partners, and I'm not sure what to expect.

Everything I've read about sex with herpes focuses on prevention from spreading it to your partner... but what if your partner already has it? Are condoms necessary? Seems like it shouldn't be an issue, but I guess my concern is that if one of us is shedding the virus and we have unprotected sex, will that trigger an outbreak in the other person? I don't know how long it will take for a recurrence to happen or what would trigger it.

I also don't know what to think about oral sex.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Ginny

[hopeful1234]

I don't know too much about asymptomatic shedding but I do know that I've read that the act of sex can trigger an outbreak regardless of whether or not your partner is shedding. Lubrication is vital when you do have sex again. If you are newly infection please be aware that your immune system is just beginning to attack this virus so it can do a lot crazy things to you. First of all, make sure you both are blood tested. The levels of you antibodies are a dead giveaway as to whom infected whom. The person with the higher levels most likely has had the virus longer and has built up more antibodies. You can still infect yourself in eyes (so can he) if you are not careful during an outbreak. Always wash your hands after contact with your genital region. If you are newly infected, it is not wise to participate in oral sex with your partner without a condom. I know it's yucky but being newly infected you don't want to risk an oral infection. However, research is on your side that once you are infected with the one of the viruses, type 1 or 2 at one site you should not get that same virus in another site. That doesn't mean you can't acquire both viruses in each preferred site if you have a sex with a new partner later. So basically, let your body recover and build its immunity before you go possibly introducing the virus to another site! Good luck finding answers to your questions about sex and shedding.

Hopeful1234

[anie]

Hopeful mentioned the use of condoms during oral sex... I'd like to add to that statement by suggesting the use of flavored condoms which are a safe alternative as opposed to the typical condom. You and your partner may also want to be tested for other STI's as well if either of you haven't done so recently to make certain that your only obstacle in your sex life is indeed herpes.

[coping2]

check out this study...

I found this article to be quite helpful.

http://www.herpes-coldsores.com/herpes_simplex_1_and_2.htm

it explains some of your questions I think.