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Melissa391

So im in constant contact with this guy... should i tell him?

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Melissa391

Hey Just looking for some good advice,

This summer past i met this guy-"bobby", he was visiting his parents who are friends with my parents so i got the pleasure of meeting him and hanging out with him twice. The two times we hung out, it somehow managed to end up being the two of us left up, talking, continuing drinking till the late hours of the morning.

When he went back to where he is from, the other side of the country, we kept in contact. We txt everyday and every once in a while we phone each other, going to be honest, when one of us is drunk is when a phone call happens haha... We both let the elephant in the room be known that weve both developed feelings for one another and I cant help but feel the weight on my shoulders with regards to if i should tell him i have H. I'm always razzing him about coming back- he plans on it but im not sure if it wont be until the summer again. Im finishing school at the end of this year and work may take me anywhere and it would be nice to go close to him... I feel like i can trust him, but i dont want to wait to long for me to tell him and i know now its definitely too soon... Ive never told anyone Ive had this besides when i became diagnosed i told my ex bf who infected me. Im 20 and he is five yrs older than me, but there is something about him that makes me not want to let him go... Should i tell him, and if i should then how?:(

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RealisticGal

How you approach this is up to you --- what feels comfortable as far as telling in person or over the phone or by text or whatever. Personally, I would never want to do it any way other than in person. Maybe that is a generational thing.

As far as when to tell, there is no need to tell a potential partner until you are sure that things are headed toward intimacy. Before that, what's the point? It is a good idea not to wait until clothes are hitting the floor, though. Sorta hard to think straight at that point. ;)

I definitely suggest you avoid having alcohol in the mix when you tell.

My personal opinion is that you might want to wait until you have the chance to spend more "face time" with this guy. Again, maybe a gen thing, but texting and IMs and emails and even phone convos are a somewhat false way to really get to know someone. If I were in your place, I would definitely want to see this guy in person again, see if the attraction (and more) is still there, then decide if it is time to tell or not.

At 20, it is pretty difficult to cool your jets, I know. Waiting is never easy, but even less so then. Could be worth it, though.

Just some thoughts...

:wavey:

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