Jump to content

Very frustated, lonely and would like to talk


Recommended Posts


I am a 58 year old male and just had my first outbreak. After reviewing this website and deciding to "jump in", I don't have to tell you all how devistated I am. I have done nothing for two weeks but sit around. I have never watched more TV in my life! Depression has hit hard and there are even some visions of complete hopelessness and "why go on". The first thing I did was contact my last patner who immediately went into denial. My life situation has made this extremely difficult. I lost everything to divorce, rarely see the kids, who are adult now, and am struggling to get my life back together. I have started a new business, but with having to file bankruptcy, can't find financing to get it started. So, I'm driving a truck to pay the bills. Herpes was kind of the last straw. Now I find it difficult to do anything but go to work, and that only because there are bills to pay. So, here I am broke, no retirement, a job I hate and have HERPES. I am trying to find free mental health in my area, Salem, Or, with no luck. Sometimes I think why go on? But there is enough sesibity left to prevent any action that way. I really need to talk with someone, but don't want to involve anyone I know because I'm embarassed, frustrated, lonely now, feeling worthless, etc., etc. I would really appreciate a response from someone. Thanks

Link to comment
Share on other sites

wow mike, I am sorry that everything is sorta hitting you at once. But the good news (if there is any...I know it doesn't seem like it right now!) is that you have found this forum and at least you can come here to learn and maybe even find some help in your area. Herpes aside, I think you have a lot of bigger issues on your plate right now, and those issues are going to exasperate the herpes/outbreaks. it is quite possible you had herpes for some time, but never had outbreaks until recently, due to all the stress you are under.

So yes, absolutely, see if you can find someone for counseling and help. It will make a world of difference. Like I said, herpes, while it sucks eggs, isn't as bad as the other stuff you are dealing with right now.

Let us know how things progress....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

First of all Mike I know that it seems as though your life is over, there's nowhere to go, and there is no point in continuing life...but there is! Don't give up. I was recently diagnosed in June, after being completely careless with a guy just once! After that I was alone, couldn't turn to anyone, especially not my family. I am only 19 and just couldnt see how anyone would ever see me as worth it to start a relationship with. Basically I thought there was no hope. However, as you will soon find out, herpes is NOT the end of the world, life goes on, happily. You just have to see that you're more than your virus, and as Ouch pointed out, you definitely have ALOT more bigger problems to deal with. Just take it all one step at a time, and with help, advice, counseling, and just a sheer will to change your life around you will get through all of this, and you will see that life - and you are worth it to go on.

I hope that helped. I wish you luck with everything!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Thank you

Thank you both for the supportive responses.

After going through the emotional downturns that everyone has experienced, I have realized there is more to this situation than a personal experience. It involves other people. I immediately contacted the women I have been involved with. One is accepting, one lives in Egypt on the river Nial, and one is putting up a front. The lady who is accepting is the one I was most concerned about as a life mate so this is good news. I am still concerned and need to learn how to work around the symptems when finally my mind is somewhat at rest and we can be together. I DO NOT WANT TO INFECT ANYONE!!! And, I don't want to be with anyone but the first lady, who is accepting.

I saw a chart on how many actual partners a person has been with indirectly. It is very scary and needs to be in every school in this country and the world! I remember my "sex" education in high school as being very vague. I think sex education has gotten better but I still talk with and overhear young people who have the same careless attitude so many of my generation had and still do have.

One of the items that greatly concerns me is the attitude of the third lady who told me her ex and his wife were in a swingers club. Can you imagine all those people exposing themselves to each other and the rest of the world? I have given up even trying to consider where this malady originated. I think I have determined I have been exposed to over 10,000 people. No wonder I have H! I'm surprised and amazed to even be alive!

After all the dismay and emotional devestation, I am trying to learn how to have a physical relation with the woman I love. Right now I feel I am infectuous just being near people. How on earth can you be assured that just a mere touch will not infect someone? I am playing golf with friends today and just the thought of shaking hands has me concerned.

Can someone lead me to more information on this?


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Donate

    If Honeycomb has helped you, please help us by making a donation so we can provide you with even better features and services.

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
    • Total Posts
  • Posts

    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
    • FeelingLost75
      How are you doing now?
    • TS4real
      May 13 ( day I will never forget).. a guy I was dating and I drank way to much and decided to have anal sex. We did use protection however, not enough lube, wasn’t done correctly and it was painful. So bad that I yelled out and fell off the bed. Anyway, oral was also performed on me anal and vaginal. Flash forward to 3-4 days after that. I was in the most intense pain I had ever felt. I went to a gyn she tool one look and said it looks like herpes. She swabbed me . 2 days after that, yes it’s HSV1 . I was still in pain, irritated anal area and vaginal area and It was unbearable.  today, I still have irritation and itchy and when I pass a bowel i’m in pain and the itch is crazy.     When I first was diagnoses the gyn gave me valtrex which I did not take bc I was in so much pain I could not move for 2 days.  Groin lymphs were swollen I had fever , tired etc.  I am wondering if I had taken the valtrex would it have kinda liked stopped the virus in it’s tracks enough to reproduce? Do people see a correlation between no more outbreaks and immediate initial valtrex  use ? I am 43, I never thought this wound happen as I am not a promiscuous person, I hardly date and I always use protection when I do have intercouse , have yearly std tests. I’m just so sad that i’m at this point right now . I’m trying not to get depressed but this is making my body feel miserable. I’m an avid runner and biker and mom of two teens. I feel like my life as I knew is over. I want to feel better already.
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.