Very frustated, lonely and would like to talk

[Leadmike]

Hi-

I am a 58 year old male and just had my first outbreak. After reviewing this website and deciding to "jump in", I don't have to tell you all how devistated I am. I have done nothing for two weeks but sit around. I have never watched more TV in my life! Depression has hit hard and there are even some visions of complete hopelessness and "why go on". The first thing I did was contact my last patner who immediately went into denial. My life situation has made this extremely difficult. I lost everything to divorce, rarely see the kids, who are adult now, and am struggling to get my life back together. I have started a new business, but with having to file bankruptcy, can't find financing to get it started. So, I'm driving a truck to pay the bills. Herpes was kind of the last straw. Now I find it difficult to do anything but go to work, and that only because there are bills to pay. So, here I am broke, no retirement, a job I hate and have HERPES. I am trying to find free mental health in my area, Salem, Or, with no luck. Sometimes I think why go on? But there is enough sesibity left to prevent any action that way. I really need to talk with someone, but don't want to involve anyone I know because I'm embarassed, frustrated, lonely now, feeling worthless, etc., etc. I would really appreciate a response from someone. Thanks

[ouch]

wow mike, I am sorry that everything is sorta hitting you at once. But the good news (if there is any...I know it doesn't seem like it right now!) is that you have found this forum and at least you can come here to learn and maybe even find some help in your area. Herpes aside, I think you have a lot of bigger issues on your plate right now, and those issues are going to exasperate the herpes/outbreaks. it is quite possible you had herpes for some time, but never had outbreaks until recently, due to all the stress you are under.

So yes, absolutely, see if you can find someone for counseling and help. It will make a world of difference. Like I said, herpes, while it sucks eggs, isn't as bad as the other stuff you are dealing with right now.

Let us know how things progress....

[Hopeful86]

First of all Mike I know that it seems as though your life is over, there's nowhere to go, and there is no point in continuing life...but there is! Don't give up. I was recently diagnosed in June, after being completely careless with a guy just once! After that I was alone, couldn't turn to anyone, especially not my family. I am only 19 and just couldnt see how anyone would ever see me as worth it to start a relationship with. Basically I thought there was no hope. However, as you will soon find out, herpes is NOT the end of the world, life goes on, happily. You just have to see that you're more than your virus, and as Ouch pointed out, you definitely have ALOT more bigger problems to deal with. Just take it all one step at a time, and with help, advice, counseling, and just a sheer will to change your life around you will get through all of this, and you will see that life - and you are worth it to go on.

I hope that helped. I wish you luck with everything!!

[Leadmike]

Thank you

Thank you both for the supportive responses.

After going through the emotional downturns that everyone has experienced, I have realized there is more to this situation than a personal experience. It involves other people. I immediately contacted the women I have been involved with. One is accepting, one lives in Egypt on the river Nial, and one is putting up a front. The lady who is accepting is the one I was most concerned about as a life mate so this is good news. I am still concerned and need to learn how to work around the symptems when finally my mind is somewhat at rest and we can be together. I DO NOT WANT TO INFECT ANYONE!!! And, I don't want to be with anyone but the first lady, who is accepting.

I saw a chart on how many actual partners a person has been with indirectly. It is very scary and needs to be in every school in this country and the world! I remember my "sex" education in high school as being very vague. I think sex education has gotten better but I still talk with and overhear young people who have the same careless attitude so many of my generation had and still do have.

One of the items that greatly concerns me is the attitude of the third lady who told me her ex and his wife were in a swingers club. Can you imagine all those people exposing themselves to each other and the rest of the world? I have given up even trying to consider where this malady originated. I think I have determined I have been exposed to over 10,000 people. No wonder I have H! I'm surprised and amazed to even be alive!

After all the dismay and emotional devestation, I am trying to learn how to have a physical relation with the woman I love. Right now I feel I am infectuous just being near people. How on earth can you be assured that just a mere touch will not infect someone? I am playing golf with friends today and just the thought of shaking hands has me concerned.

Can someone lead me to more information on this?

Thanks