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Jenkins

Had sex once, got herpes.FML 18 m (uk)

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Jenkins

i caught herpes when i was 16, i didnt know what it was, it went away before i built up the courage to go to the clinic, and i didnt figure out the outreaks were linked til now, so here i am, i havent been diagnosed and they didnt pick it up when i got tested a few months ago but i can tell from pictures. i have it very mildly i think, i havent had an outbreak in months and months an they only last a few days at most, i dont have alot of the really bad symptoms and i dont take suppressures, so i guess im lucky really cos i have it easy compared...but i still cant help but feel my life is fucked, and worse of all i just got into a relationship with this girl and i love her to absolute bits, we havent even kissed yet thats the crazy thing, cos i dont wanna risk it, i feel like im less than human, like ill never get a chance to be with someone i love.

and if i ever gave her herpes i would never forgive myself, i just wanna curl up in a ball and disappear.

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Gettingthere2

Hey Jenkins

Your life is not fucked. It's far from it! When I was diagnosed I thought my life was over but I'm starting to try to be positive. It's not life threatening it is just a skin disorder that is an inconvenience at times.

As for your girlfriend by the sounds of it you both feel strongly towards each other. My advice would to find out for sure whether you have it or not but most of all educate yourself there are great websites out there with so much helpful information and then when the time comes to tell your girlfriend you can also educate her.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger just remember that!

M.

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      They did a hole punch as a swab for me, requested a PCR and it was not done. And they don't swab with cotton my other was swabbed with a rough surface to pick up skin. 
    • 35hope
      that was for the latent virus
    • normakiut
      Well, if I were you I would totally tell him. It is important that he knows what he has and gets tested, that way he can be more careful in the future and avoid transmission to other partners. It's true that you can't stay mad at him forever and I thinks it's very mature from you to put the cards on the table, it's the right thing to do.  You don't have to accuse him, you just have to hit him with the facts, I think handing him your test results is a good idea, that way you can see how he reacts, maybe he knew he had it, maybe he didn't. When you dated a few months ago did you guys use protection?  I got it from someone who knew he had it but "thought" nothing would happen to me because he was asymptomatic at that moment.  Best of luck!
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    • WilsoInAus
      No, genital HSV-1 transmission from genital sex to an uninfected person does happen, it is rare in its own degree. It happens to about 1% of couples in the discordant situation described each year. If your partner suggests he didn't know he had genital HSV-1, then I'd suggest he told a porkie pie! This compares to the 0.0001% or lower annual chance of reinfection! So no, there is no need to feel sad at all. You also seem to make out that having HSV-1 is some form of death sentence. It is usually the opposite. The cohort of people with HSV-1 are as healthy if not more so than those without HSV-1 and have similar or less morbidity (aggregate symptoms, pains etc.) than those without HSV-1. There is nothing impaired about a person having genital HSV-1. No shame, concerns, health deficiencies etc.  No fate but what we make! Choose a good fate!
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