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Salem

Positive Experience - Having the Talk

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Salem

I am here, as a 21 year old female who was diagnosed with H 2 months ago, happily reporting that I had a successful talk with my new boyfriend. We went on a beautiful hike that overlooked the ocean. I decided that I wanted to tell him when I reached the top of the mountain, where it was peaceful and beautiful. We sat down on some rocks watching the sunset and I pulled out my fact sheet on herpes. I kinda messed up at the beginning because I blurted out, "I have something I need to tell you" and worried him a little by getting slightly emotional. I then told him the story of how I got it from a boyfriend who gave me oral while he had symptoms of a cold sore. I told him that I had tested negative, then positive which means I have it. I also told him it was extremely common and I handed him the fact sheet. I asked him to read the sheet while we were sitting there and he did. Then I told him that we should be safe when we decide to have sex. He told me that he would do research on this issue, but that it does not change anything between us.

This happened a couple of weeks ago. We have not let this come between us and he tells me that he loves me for everything that I am and accepts me. He asked me a couple of nights ago if I was interested in furthering our sexual experience, I told him when the time was right (hopefully soon). In a sense, I feel like this has brought us closer, as he just told me last night that he is in love with me. Please do not fear being in a relationship because of this issue. If you project yourself as a happy, confident, loving and deserving person...your partner should overlook this little virus. I was devastated when I found out, but I used this experience to be much more selective when I dated. Now instead of dating the "bad boy", I decided to date the "good guy" who would love me for me. Best decision I have ever made! Good Luck! :proud:

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JBnATL

Congratulations! I too have had nothing but good experiences giving the 'talk'. I have never been rejected.

You need to research the transmission rates for genital hsv1 since that sounds like it is what you have. HSV1 does not like to be genital so you typically won't have as many problems there and it is almost impossible to pass along. Here is a link to a great article on hsv2 genital transmission rates and as you can see even that is not easy to pass along:

www.hsvblog.org/herpes-simplex-virus-hsv-101

Come to the "Chat Room", there you will find many nice fellow Herpsters who can offer you their support.

Good luck!

JB

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bajj78

It's nice to hear that there are people who take "the talk" well. I'm still kind of in the air after giving my talk. But, it's not exactly a normal situation.

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