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My story and first time back to singledom/dating since

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I’m going to start my story years ago when I was in high school. There was this guy that always had a crush on me. I knew because he’d always tell my sister. I was flattered,but I never paid attention to him. When I returned home from college in 2005, I’d randomly run into him when I was out dancing. He’d tell me I was the only girl he’d ever marry. Of course, I’d laugh it off. He’d randomly message me on FB, but he always seemed like a party boy, so I never gave him a chance.

Last year he messaged me on FB, asked me to go fishing and said if I was ready to stop being single to call him. I finally figured what’s the worst that could happen. He turned out to be a really decent and sweet guy. Unfortunately after a month or so he graduated with his masters and took a job out of state. No, this is not the guy I got herpes from. He was a perfect gentleman; never even tried to have sex with me.

Months after he left I met someone else. I think early in the relationship I knew it wasn’t right, but I was falling into the I’m getting old and I don’t want to be alone forever routine. I didn’t listen to my gut. Five months into the relationship I found out I had herpes. I don’t want to call him abusive, but he was definitely needy, possessive, a little controlling, and an alcoholic. I stuck it out in a bad relationship for a year and two months because I was afraid no one would ever want me again. I finally woke up. I was just so tired of hearing over and over again how I was a horrible girlfriend, I do everything wrong, I’m selfish, and how great his ex was. I decided I would rather be happy and alone than miserable with him forever. That was two weeks ago that I broke up with him. So, this is my first time in singledom with herpes.

I do plan to be completely single for a while and just make myself happy. BUT Remember the first guy? I’ve been talking to him via text and FB. I thought it was just harmless flirting. Like always, I wasn’t taking himseriously. Why would I when he’s in another state? But the other night he pretty much spilled his heart to me. Stuff like…I’d like to explore the possibility of us. I could tell he was being sincere. He’s been asking me to visit him. I just can’t make that trip without him knowing my secret.

So, last night I told him I couldn’t visit without telling him something important first. I thought my heart would beat out of my chest I was so nervous. I told him it was hard to say so I’d appreciate if he kept it to himself. He said ok. I told him I got the herpes virus from my ex and that’s why I stayed with him so long. He said he wasn’t expecting that. I said I wasn’t either. He asked if my ex knew he had it before, genital or oral, if I discovered it first, and if my ex knows now. I answered him. He thanked me for being honest and said he was sorry it happened to me. He asked me what the doctor is doing for it. I told him. He said “ok.” I didn’t know what that meant so I said I knew it was a lot of info to take in. He said it was ok and no worries. I said “ok.” He ended the conversation saying he loved me and night.

I’m optimistic, but realistic. I know his response is in no way certain that he’d want to talk to or see me again. He didn’t tell me to get lost, so that’s a plus. I figure I’ll give him some space and see if I hear from him. If not, I’ll message him, listen to what he says and move on. I just feel better knowing that he knows.

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God bless u

You are a wonderful humanbeing for having such courage to let him know. God bless you i hope he sees that

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I hope he accepts you for you, despite this ridiculous H thing. The first guy I told (some odd weeks ago) rejected me for it and so I'm pulling for you and this guy. I love to hear succesful stories about people meeting someone who didn't judge them for a virus they didn't ask for. However, just remember that if he can't overlook or handle your H ordeal he's not someone you'd want to be with because in the long run when to things TRULY get tough he won't be able to be with and there for you.

Hope it works out for you :)

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Well, I heard from him again tonight. He had more questions. He asked me how I handled it when I found out. I told him I cried...and that the nurse practitioner basically told me that this is the world we live in and to suck it up. He told me he would be devastated if he found out he had it. I thought it was over from there. But we kept talking and by the end he was still telling me he loved me, that he wanted to kiss me, and asking when I was coming to visit. So, I'm glad the first person I told didn't freak out and run the other direction.

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