Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group
Sign in to follow this  
PursuitOfHappiness

Have To Say

Recommended Posts

PursuitOfHappiness

This is my first time ever speaking about this. It has really been weighing me down lately, compiled with work and my future, it has its unbearable moments.

I'm a male in my early 20's and have small raised bumps on my noodle and sack, previously on both inner thighs as well. Haven't been to the doctor yet, even though I know I need too, because I'm a chickenshit. If I don't know I have it, I don't have to tell anyone.

I'm constantly worrying what my friends will think of me and most importantly what "Corrine" will say. We engaged in coitus earlier this year, but not since. We have maintained a very good friendship and talk daily. The problem is, I'm afraid I'm madly in love with her but am terrified of her reaction.

I'm a male, early 20's and have had 30+ sexual partners, all of them unprotected. It's scary that so many young people are so comfortable with the risk of an infection or virus or disease. I wish I had made better choices, because I'm of the opinion I will never be able to find a meaningful relationship.

Snot faced, hystercial screaming and crying would be an accurate description of how my heart feels right now. Fuck.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
wastedhousewife

Look at it this way - at least you got a lot of no strings (or condoms :) ) attached fun out of your system before this happened. Please do see a doctor and get a formal diagnosis before you resign yourself to living on whore island though - because you may be wrong. It is always a good idea to have a formal diagnosis while sores are present.

I am so sorry if you do turn out positive for this - it is a difficult thing to accept, and also will be a difficult conversation with Corrine. I think while you are telling her that you may have herpes, you may as well throw it all in the ring and tell her exactly how you feel about her as well. You've got nothing to lose at this point, so you may as well set yourself up to move forward from the situation with no "what ifs".

Here's how it is going to go: for the next 2-3 months, you will probably be depressed, withdrawn, and do some heavy drinking. You will think you're feeling better and things might be okay, and then you'll have an outbreak and it will make you wonder why you exist. This is going to absolutely suck. But - once that period is over, I promise it does get better. And like any kind of suffering, you will learn things about yourself and others, and will gain some character and insight through the experience. Once that newly diagnosed cloud lifts, I promise that you will be amazed by how accepting people are, and by how little herpes really does affect you. The only bad news is that you're a few months away from that point.

Hang in there - it is estimated online that 1 in 4 people have genital herpes. My doctor tells me that number is much higher. Herpes is not a punishment for making bad choices, it is simply a common disease that can happen to anyone. Eventually all of us do find that all of the meaningful things in life are still waiting for us, and I hope that you will, too. Hang in there, drink some tequila, and remember that snot faced, hysterical screaming does not last forever.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
PursuitOfHappiness

Thank you wasted, your words are kind and your understanding is helpful. I've been dealing with this for awhile in silence. One thing that troubles me is people saying OB's disappearing, I haven't been entirely bump free in nearly a year. Do you ever find yourself thinking while you're doing something you in enjoy, "Why am I doing this? I have herpes." Or when you're out with people and ever think, "These people have no idea, what would they say?"

I know I may very well be doing all this worrying for no reason until I get checked. Either way I don't see how the prognosis could be any different unless it's something much worse. Getting the courage to go in and have the doctor tell me I'm positive for something is agonizing.

For the moment I'm just trying to convince myself that it isn't that bad. I mean apart from the outward appearance of an OB and the awful stigma around it, it's not the end of the world, right? It's not like it will kill me?

Then I think about having to worry about spreading it for the rest of my life to potential partners and it seems like an insurmountable feat. The fact that people I know would possibly treat me like a leper scares me. Maybe I will just stick to whoring with one night stands. Does that make me a bad person?

Sorry for not shutting the fuck up.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
MsLucy

Thank you both for making me laugh tonight. I needed that desperately, although some might say I'm a bad person for laughing at the misfortune of others. Then again, since I share the same misfortune, I guess I've earned a pass on that one.

Pursuit... you've had these 'bumps' for a solid year??? That doesn't sound like a herpes ob. I mean, a year is a long fucking time. Seriously. I don't think even the most tenacious, determined ob could last that long. The little buggers would die from sheer exhaustion.

Do yourself (and Corrine) a favor and muster enough courage for a trip to the dr. I'm not a dr, and maybe you do have a record-breaking ob but, then again, maybe you don't, and wouldn't that be a really good thing to know? Besides, wouldn't you feel a little foolish if you spent the rest of your life convinced you had herpes, and then, forty years from now, when you have prostate trouble and go to the dr, he looks at you and asks... how long have you been allergic to your underwear?

Make an appt and go. Trust me... the not knowing is far worse than the knowing, even if it is herpes, and especially if it turns out to be something treatable.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
wastedhousewife

I was crying so hard that I could barely speak at the doctor's office when I was diagnosed. It helped a lot not to have to communicate, it's somewhat too bad that you are a guy and probably could not get away with that! You are at the hardest part of this, and I really wish there was more we could offer you than advice. Everything you are feeling is normal, you aren't being overly dramatic or whining. I spent about 3 weeks as a total wreck, and I mean wreck. I'm amazed that I didn't get fired or crash my car or something. My first outbreak lasted it seemed like months, and just kept coming back. But once that finally cleared, it has never been that bad since. I won't lie and say that my desk drawers at work aren't filled with undies that I've had to take off during the day because I'm afraid they are irritating me too much. But I will say that even outbreaks now just don't bother me.

No one has ever, ever treated me like a leper. I have been very honest with family, friends, coworkers, and I am glad I took the chance because the support got me through. Yes, my sister once plastic wrapped her apartment before I visited, but I laughed my ass off about it (before pouring a glass of wine on her saran wrapped couch). I've even had more than a dozen guys give me the super creepy "Id still hit that talk". Still, I was lucky enough that the person I got herpes from was someone I loved, so I've really had it easy. I wish you could, too.

Nothing will really make you feel better right now, but if you stop talking it will make you feel worse. So, please, do not shut up under any circumstances. You're very articulate and witty, we are all happy to hear from you and try to help. Hang in there!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
PursuitOfHappiness

Please, please, please feel free to laugh at me anytime. It seems therapeutic, plus I really do deserve it. If I can make someone feel better for even a moment, then I feel like I've helped, thus making me feel good. So pretty much, win-win.

I have no qualms, obviously I would prefer to not have love bumps, but at least I earned it. And I did it in style, many times. I want to be able to get to the point where I can laugh about it with people, though that seems far away. One thing you said wasted that has been rattling around in my head is the fact that I might be 'feeling better and think things are okay'. I really do feel more at ease now after letting this shit out. Like maybe I can come to terms with this? But I've gone through some different stages of thinking. Like just going out and continue fucking randos without any disclosure, but I really don't think I could do that to anyone. Then I started thinking about never having sex again, and I told myself that it would make life a lot less complicated. To be honest though, it's been almost a year for me (by choice) and I don't think I can go much longer. Dating a girl with it as well also seemed like a possibilty, but that might prove difficult.

I am going to make my most valiant effort to get down to the walk-in tomorrow and see if we can't figure out what's going on with my dong.

Anyways, I really appreciate you ladies taking time to talk to me, it means more than you may know. Especially you wasted, you're a gem, thank you x infinity.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
PursuitOfHappiness

Oh good news! I talked to "Corrine" and mentioned in an off-handed way about maybe something more, and she totally shot me down. Just ripped my fucking heart right out, but no need to disclose anything! Ain't love grand?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
wastedhousewife

I'm so sorry she reacted that way! I guess all you can do now is pretend that you discovered she was a North Korean spy and she had to be deported. You probably could not have really made a life with a Kim Jong sympathizer, anyway.

Seriously though, even if she had not turned out to be a spy, it's hard to have a healthy relationship start right on the heels of a pretty difficult diagnosis. You may not be ready to be with her, regardless of how real your feelings are. Give yourself time to heal from the herpes diagnosis and the broken heart. When you are ready and you meet the right girl, you can tell her how you almost got mixed up with communism.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
PursuitOfHappiness

Lol that was amazing. Anytime I get rejected, I will remember this and realize it was for the best.

Just another bit of good news, the doctor told me it's nothing more than molluscum. Which would explain the prolonged appearance as is uncommon with an outbreak as Kitty mentioned. I am on cloud nine right now.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

Advertisement

Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
      68,384
    • Total Posts
      456,687
  • Posts

    • Mike2026
      Ok well the red spots have gone away, do you still have any external symtpoms?
    • blurneworder
      Looks a bit similar to what I have. People will tell you it’s not herpes because it’s spred out or does not look like herpes, but my doctors are running out of answers/prescriptions to give me. ive had a host of other symptoms never before felt in my body. my tests are negative for now. I had a swab yesterday, but I’m not sure if it was an area that will yield anything. It was more a plea of something hurts, please swab this. its taken me months to get someone to swab me. I recently found out a hospital did not test my blood for HSV even after I requested it. Messed up, huh?
    • Mike2026
      @WilsonInAus You've helped me before what do you think?
    • Mike2026
      Here are pictures to help.
    • Mike2026
      Ok So I had unprotected sex with a girl about 5 days ago and the day after I had masturbated an abnormal amount for whatever reason. The following day I noticed my urethra and penis had a bit of pain and then I began to have abnormal pelvic pain, though the lymphnodes in my groin area were not swollen or sensitive. After about three days the pelvic pain continued and my urethra soreness continued as well despite my lack of masturbation. I have also had abnormal headaches and my usual lower back pain as an active athlete. No sores or lesions of sorts just a couple of red spots as I had shaved recently before having the unprotected sex and all these red spots are painless and do not itch. I have also had a constant urge to pee. I am on a rollercoaster of convincing myself that I do not have it and then hitting the internet with my symptoms and going into a panic that I could have HSV 2. Am i being a hypochondriac or should I be worried? Thanks guys
×

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.