Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group
Sign in to follow this  

I Don't Know What to Feel...?

Recommended Posts


Okay, so I have HSV-2. I got it about ten days ago now. I under alot of stress right now ( for me anyways) . I am a student and finals are a week away. I'm broke, owe everyone money, im balancing a part time job, just starting to get into a new relationship and then BAM this happens.

I know im taking well. I have a positive outlook on life and i persevere.This isn't the first thing to make me "different" or affect my life in an unfortunate way. But in the storm off all the ciaos i need some advice on something. I have no one else to talk to. I havent told anyone except my boyfriend. But he is what this is about.

Him and I used to work together. I was actually his boss. (LOL!) we worked together for 7 months and became really good friends. I would talk to him about my loser dates I went on and I would try and give him advice to win over tha ladies. I never really thought of him in a romantic way, partially cause i was so wraped up in other men that I never paid attention. We talked and txted on a weekly basis. We played on the company sports teams together and while we were at a company gathering one of our co workers blurted out " Heeeyyyyy you guys should start dating" I kinda shrugged it off. but after that day it was in the back of my mind.

Couple of months past and I had gone to school and he got a new job, but we remained in contact. We got closer, and closer. I was pleased at where things were heading. He can make me laugh like no other and he knows all my secrets. I thought I was heading down the right path this time.

We spent a lovely weekend together. I couldnt of asked for anything more. Until four days later when I got a text saying he needed to get something off his chest. He called and told me he had HSV2. I didnt know what hit me. I was speechless. I didnt know what to. The next hour I was numb. The next I was angry. Worried, and Distraught.

Now, ten days later, I still run through those emotion. Im so angry with him. why didnt he tell me BEFORE he had sex with me!! He is apparently asymptomatic and has at it for three years. im sorry but that is not something that you just FORGET about. I mean okay, im in the wrong too. He is the only man I have been with that I havent had the std talk before we have sex. I dont know why i didnt ,i guess I TRUSTED him. and u would think at the age of 29, he would have a brain! I guess not. Why does HE get to choose this for me! I asked him what he was thinking, and all i get is an "I dont know" it drives me mad. He is sorry, he apologized a million times. He told me he understands if I stop talking to him. He think doesnt deserve me and that he feels like he is the worst person in the world. He should feel that way! I care about him to much and I dont want him to feel this way. The only thing i got outta him was that every girl he has been with has just turned around a left him because of it. he is ashamed of it and He said he didnt want to loose me. And because he was asymptomatic for so long he didnt think he was contagious. HE THOUGHT WRONG.

He is the only one I can talk to about this so it i nice having him by my side. But am I ridiculous for even considering to forgive him for this? this is HUGE. Life Changing. I told him my concerns and he says to me is he will do whatever it takes for how ever long it takes to make this better. He cried when I told him I had it But sometimes I feel like It shows me how irresponsible he is, how disrespectful he is and dont you think it show that he doesnt give a dam n. And sometimes I feel like everything is going to be okay and we will get though this together.

Sometimes I am known not to think clearly. Is forgiving him even an option? Or should I just move on. Moving on isnt going to be as easy as it was before. I cant bear to have the herpes talk with someone else. But why would he do this to me?

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Don't feel obligated to stay with this man just because he infected you. In my opinion staying with him shouldn't be an option.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

He did it to you for the same reason that he will continue doing bad things to you if you let him, he is immature and not responsible for his own actions. Get out now before he trashes your credit or something really awful! The other girls who left him (because he lied about exposing them to an STD) were right to do so. I understand his fear of talking about it - but where will that end? What if you have kids someday and he loses one of them at the grocery store, and then just thinks no one will notice if he does not mention it? That's improbable and extreme...but I've heard the "I don't know" defense before, and it never changes! He needs to grow up and become a man before he is ready for a relationship, and if you stay with him right now, all you will end up doing is trying (and failing) to raise him.

My cold hearted b*tch advice for you is to use him right now to support you until you get over your diagnosis and start to feel better - but don't get too attached and get the hell out of there as soon as you think you are ready. Having herpes does not mean you have to settle for anything. You are still the same person you were before, and the world is still full of potential mates for you. People who will treat you better than this guy, I promise.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
    • Total Posts
  • Posts

    • North Saranac
      I have not had sexual contact for at least half a year with a partner of more than four years monogamous, one non-protected encounter four years ago different women and then a few more non-protected over ten years ago.   One morning, I woke up after a having bad night time sweats (common) with a bad itch in my pubic region hair on right side about halfway between my penis and belly button. I did not look closely to later that night and noticed a large red rash, but don't believe I looked that closely. At some point I noticed a blister or something and tried to pop it and then walked away, I think being in denial I didn't want to look that closely, so I cant describe symptoms. This was on a Saturday or Sunday. The following Monday I went to work, where I do a physical demanding job al week, I noticed the area that had the rash showed about four areas that were infected (either cut or blistered) and would burn at night time during the week, They were located on my right side, directly where my belt buckle rubs. During the days that work week, my belt buckle would drive and rub in the area ( my buckle is metal square with pointy but not sharpe edges), I tried to pull my pants up and get the belt off the area but that was not always possible. After work that week, I took the weekend and then next two days off of work, the shooting pain evidently stopped and the area after a another week or two looked to be healing.  Week before symptoms: I have been under stress at work and the previous two days before the rash / OB I was working on a boat with another person, we were sharing work equipment and peeing with out washing hands (could he have had it and spread it to me through sharing of phones, equipment if he peed and then touch my phone, then I peed (sorry if stupid question)? My belt could have also been digging into me also, I have been wearing this belt for over a year and never had a problem. Currently, I took a Herpes 1 and 2 test from stdcheck using quest and it came back negative. Symptoms Dec 2/3 test Jan 21, negative results Jan 23. The area in pubic region is still red and appears to be scared but no open sores.   I know it is crazy but with the those symptoms I am still worried. Was that too soon to get a test? Is there any chance of getting if from a co-worker if they have it and touched the same things you did? Would you recommend getting another blood test in 3 months? Thank you for your input.
    • T9000
      Doctors will tell you this, but it's incredibly irresponsible of them, and it's advice that needs to be ignored. You always need to disclose your status before having sex with someone.
    • T9000
      The general public is just really poorly educated when it comes to virology in my opinion. Part of it though is just the fact that there's only so much information a person can remember and care about at one time. However I've always felt like HPV is way more openly discussed than HSV, at least in women's spaces.
    • Forest
      Here is the full science and documentation behind the herpes patent . RNA GUIDED ERADICATION OF HERPES SIMPLEX TYPE I AND OTHER RELATED HERPESVIRUSES   https://patents.justia.com/patent/20180000970   I hope this will help answer your questions.
    • T9000
      The fact that there are so many people contracting hsv-1 genitally from as little as one sexual encounter leads me to believe that it likely more 'tuned' to the genital region than medicine realizes.

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.