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dark90

Just diagnosed

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dark90

He gave it to me after 4 years of dating.... I love him with all my heart and he must've been asymptomatic at the time but I'm just so angry and fearful and scared. How could he do this to me?! He doesn't seem to understand how serious and upsetting this is. My eyes are sore, my body is sore and I'm sure everyone I see can tell that I have this ugly, dirty secret. I was diagnosed yesterday and my boyfriend is out playing golf. I want to crawl in a hole and die. How are we ever supposed to be intimate again. And how can I forgive him for doing this ugly thing to me

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JBnATL

Unfortunately most people get this from someone who does not know they have it because they have never had an outbreak or any symptoms. So it is not like he gave it to you on purpose.

You can live a normal life with this, I know, I have. Read all you can about it and you will realize it really is a very common, mostly harmless virus. You will find your first outbreak will probably be your worse and as you grow older your outbreaks will be less severe and come farther apart.

Come to the "Chat Room", there you will find many nice fellow Herpsters who can offer you their support.

Good luck!

JB

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dark90

Thanks for the reply, I'm so worried I can't be normal after this! My boyfriend doesn't seem to care and it's my fourth night alone crying. It's so good to know other people have been through this and can help. Xx

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canbehappy

I am a little concerned about his reaction to your suffering. My boyfriend gave it to me through oral as well. We avoided contact when he had a visible cold sore, but I must have contracted it before it was visible on his lip.

He was pretty distraught that I got this from him and seemed remorseful and pretty much was there as I needed until my first outbreak was over. I know how you feel--I was dx'd on Thanksgiving...ugh! That first outbreak was ridiculous, I was SO sick! it hasn't really relented yet because I have a weak immune system. It gets better. At least that's what I am telling myself. PM if you ever need to vent. I feel like my boyfriend didn't "get it" either. If it doesn't work out with him, then what?

I think we'll be okay. I was a bio major and this makes me want to go back for a degree in virology. I feel like once there's a vaccine the stigma will dissipate.

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Movingslowly

I absolutely feel your pain. I was infected by an asymptomatic partner. I never slept around and found out about my disease soon after my engagement. Its been two years and Ive been battling with severe depression. Just 15 minutes ago my coworkers were joking about herpes and I felt like I would rather be dead than to hear the herpes word again.... Im a young educated woman and this happened to me. You are not ugly or any different in terms of who you are. Its the physical and emotional pain that makes you feel less about yourself. By the way my fiance thinks its not a big deal either. He just lives life normal as I cry and feel so depressed. Herpes does change your view on life. I hope the best for you.

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Teacher Man

Yeah, it sucks a lot at first. We all know that feeling of fear, confusion, and sadness. But truly, it is not as big a deal as it seems. It takes a little time, but perspective will come in time. Educate yourself through the web and books, and you'll feel more in control. This is not a car wreck, just a bit of a speed bump. It doesn't chane one thing about who you are as a person. Yeah, it's a bummer, but it's not a calalmity at all. Do what you need to to allieviate stress. Talk to someone, exercise, watch a movie, whatever. It WILL get better. Hang in there. ;)

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