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Newly Diagnosed

Sh*ThapenS

By Sh*ThapenS
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Sh*ThapenS Honeycomb Member

Sh*ThapenS

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O :cry: k, im 20 years old and have just recently been diagnosed. I have only been sexually active with two guys, the second was seriously just last week, i had meet him we went on a few dates, we hooked up and we just went down on eachother. That night when i got home, i was SO sensitive, i new of the symptoms and was sure i had it. Well I do, and i just need someone to talk to...

I have so many emotions going on right now. Anger, i want to go and beat his ass down. Sadness and disappointment in myself. I dont want to seem like an ass, but i did follow the sterotype thinking only EXtremely Sexually active people got this. How wrong i was. I am so scared to tell my mother, but im dying too, but i fear that shell hate me, be mad at me, disappointed everything that i find myself feeling towards me. I want to tell her so much, but im just so scared to see how shell react to me, she stil thinks im a virgin. So talk about killing two birds with one stone huh.

The idea of men, disgust me. Who the hell is going to want to be with me. Aside from the fact that i fear so much that i could give this to someone and the idea of someone going through what i am, just kills me. The idea of also having to tell someone that i want to be intimate with, that i have herpes, how the hell do i go about doing that. I d have to trust so much, but with people nowadays, assume the worst in people, who knows what hell think of me. Ugh theres so many things.

Children, if and when i have a child can the baby get it, i heard the baby can undergo complications, possible die. Can they catch through the blood or just through contact, does everyone who have herpes have to have a seasection.

I have cried so much, due to the pain, the anger, the sadness, im so tired. I wish this would all just go away, just go back to two fucking weeks, so that i could just never meet up with that asshole. i WISH i could turn back time, id rather just be a virgin and never have sex.

Sex right now is out of the question, the whole idea turns me off.

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getonwithlife Honeycomb Member

getonwithlife

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Sorry you are feeling so bad now. You will start to feel better about it over time, but I know it is a process.

On the bright side, having this has helped me to make better choices (not that I would recommend getting this to anyone though). As nice as it was (sort of) to be carefree about dating and not thinking about this, we are definitely lucky to have this problem which is really a minor inconvenience in life, compared to something more serious or life threatening.

H has heped me rule out some real duds up front versus dating them for a long time.

I've also thought twice about just letting things happen "in the moment" with guys because of this. Though it seems like a bummer at the time, the next day, I realize that having a momentary pause wasn't such a bad thing afterall. :?

I told my mom a few weeks ago, and she was totally supportive. I thought she would freak out and think I was totally slutty. :oops: Not at all. This could happen to anyone. She asked, "Aren't the commercials on all the time because so many people have it?" I recommend telling mom. I also told some friends and that really made me feel better about it. I learned that some have this, too. I never knew because no one talks about it. One friend has had it for many years, and I recall that she had been drinking a lot a few years ago sort of out of the blue. She now confessed that she had just found out around that time. Instead of reaching out, she drowned her problems. Reach out to people that you love and trust instead of suffering by yourself. That's what friends and family are for.

Finally, I found support here. :D It is nice to know we are not alone.

I do hope you can feel a little better about this problem soon, and focus on the positives about who you are and the future you have ahead of you.

Take care.

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Hope3201985 Honeycomb Member

Hope3201985

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I feel the same way as you do Sh*t happens.. I cry and cry and cry and I hate my self I want to die just die. I was in a realtionship just feel in love again and everything was falling apart in my life , then on top of it I now have this. I `m soo worried that I might give it to my daughter. I`m only 21. I just want to go back . Now I find myself unhappy once again. and even more miserable then what i was in the first place. i thought that i was the only one that felt this way.

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puckzen Honeycomb Member

puckzen

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I hear ya

Was infected a week ago. Flu stuff sucked, but was over in 2 days. Looks bad, but I guess it could be worse.

Although I am older than you, I still understand what you are feeling. I am not married, and want to have children some day. It sucks. All I hear is that it's not as bad as the perception of H ... but now I think about that great first date, falling in love, thinking about having sex .. and I will have to tell my new friend. I expect nothing less than them running away, screaming Noooooo.

My current gf is being very nice, and it's not her fault ... but I guess I never thought it would infect me (we used condoms and she was not in an outbreak and was on Valtrax). I did not think about a future with her, but now I guess I will have to rethink that, or plan on being mostly celebate. Ok, I am being overly dramatic, but that is how I feel right now.

This sucks. I'm angry. And there is nothing I can do about it.

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Ilovemyjob Honeycomb Member

Ilovemyjob

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Sh*ThapenS :

I am a 22 female, trying to deal with everything too.

You have to look on the positive side of your life right now, even though your life is just starting out. Please message me if you need to talk!

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Biotech101 Honeycomb Member

Biotech101

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Re: I hear ya

My current gf is being very nice, and it's not her fault ... but I guess I never thought it would infect me (we used condoms and she was not in an outbreak and was on Valtrax). I did not think about a future with her, but now I guess I will have to rethink that, or plan on being mostly celebate. Ok, I am being overly dramatic, but that is how I feel right now.

Just a note. relationships that are built on "well, I guess I better stay with you now that I have this affliction" almost never work and lead to unhappyness! herpies is not a death sentence!!

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Sh*ThapenS Honeycomb Member

Sh*ThapenS

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getonwithlife:

Its bad but so true, like it does really make you think about things you may have done before...and now im like forced to you know really connect with a person and learn about them and trust them, i mean to say im slut, but you know everyone has there lil adventures here and there, and i guess i was losing myself abit, seeing assholes and jerks but now i have to really put things into perspective and know what im getting into...soo on a positive note, i guess...

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