Jump to content

Hello! I'm new to this and need some input. . .


Recommended Posts

Hello everyone! I'm a late '50's woman - my husband died 10 years ago. I was diagnosed earlier this year with H2. I had broken up with an Anesthetist I was dating who was a huge flirt and a cheat. I kept hoping we could make it work. He was up front with me about having H2. I decided he was someone I could see myself with for a LONG time - hopefully forever. 'Forever' turned out to be 1 year and 10 months. Too bad his true nature hadn't emerged at that point. Obviously I was just his 'good enough for the moment' woman. We used condoms when he had an outbreak and I never had a symptom. Still haven't.

After the breakup I found I could have a blood test to know for sure if I had it. Didn't want to start dating - even just as casual friends - without being absolutely sure one way or the other. Ignorance is NOT bliss!

I tested positive for H2 and my H1 results were unclear.

I've dated a few times since then. Only had to get into 'the talk' twice. The first guy also had H2!!! He turned out not to be someone I could respect or consider a physical relationship with however. The other had such potential. I'd only 'met' him a few weeks ago, but my husband had actually met him at a seminar many years ago and later we ran into him and we met briefly then. 12 years later - just a few weeks ago - we met again it it seemed destined! It was wonderful! Anyway, long story short. I told him last weekend about the H2+ test results. We went back and forth. He pondered, did some research and then I didn't hear from him for a day or so. Then last night he called and came over to talk and told me he had to back out of our relationship. Just couldn't do it.

I totally understand but am feeling completely rejected. How do all of you handle this? I agree that H is a great filter. To know for sure the person is really into you and not just looking for a convenient bed partner. Has anyone else noticed that women seem way more able to make this leap than men? My ex has been with 6 or 7 women since he found out he was H2+ and nobody's rejected him when they were told!

However, I keep feeling guilty even thinking I should continue to try to date in the hope of finding someone who might be okay with this. It's so traumatic for someone to get to a point where they can see themselves actually, physically with a person only to have this bomb dropped on them! I've been in very few relationships in my entire life. I met my husband at 15 and he was my one and only until his death. I know that I'm a person who could live alone for the rest of my life - but that would NOT be my preference. Does anyone have any positive experience in this area. I feel really sad, stuck and just unworthy of trying. It doesn't seem fair to pull another person into this type of drama only to have it all fall apart once again. Thanks so much in advance for your time and thoughts :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Donate

    If Honeycomb has helped you, please help us by making a donation so we can provide you with even better features and services.

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
    • Total Posts
  • Posts

    • tbc122
      https://imgur.com/a/cVi8yJY 2 weeks ago I had unprotected oral sex. Few days later I wake up with a stinging sensation in my urethra. I don't have any blisters, lesions or redness, my penis looks completely normal from the outside, but the stinging in my urethra is always there. Urinating doesn't make the pain worse. From the research I've done and how my body feels I'm pretty sure I caught genital hsv1. To make matters worse I think I transmitted it to my eyelid by touching my infected penis and then my eyelid which did develop a blister. Can anyone look at my lower eyelid and tell me if it looks anything like herpes?  I forgot to add that the blister is painless, but my eye is a bit watery. Other than that it's fine and my eyesight is good. Considering how this all developed in a matter of a week after I had unprotected sex it can't be much else than herpes..
    • SuperSnap
      Hey I see that they also sell the pill form in 100 mg and 500 mg form. Do you think this is as affective? They have the regular and extract version of the pill. Which would you think is the right one to get? And how many pills per day to get the same effect of say 16 seeds?
    • Ric12321
      it's actually because of bareback bj...
    • scurrred
      I had an IGG test  and the ranges were out of range and high  HSV 1 was 42 and HSV 2 was 19 so I guess it was accurate but the problem now is I can't figure out when or who I got it from. In 2018 to 2019 when I was with my ex I was STD tested but not sure if herpes was included but my ex was supposed to get tested but refused. I experienced some trauma with him and didn't date until a year and a half later so I'm confused. The guy I dated after the ex who didn't want to be tested I told them a week ago about my results he was trying to be there for me and understanding,I told him to get tested but to request a herpes blood test , because he had no noticeable lesions or bumps ever is what he said and I never noticed any on him now he has shut down all his social media and I can't reach him. Hoping he's okay, I feel bad because in 2018 I did have what I was told it was an abrasion that tingled but at my doctor the day I was tested they told me it wasn't herpes but I think it was only a visible diagnosis. I keep having it reoccur from time to time 
    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.