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I have written a couple of notes on this forum over the past couple of days but haven't formally introduced myself. Hello...I am a single 33 year old woman. I don't have the final test results back yet but I believe I have some form of herpes. I was tested for everything under the sun about three months ago and everything was negative. I thought I was fine. I may have been at the time...or it turns out it is possible I had a false negative result....who knows. My doc suspects it is herpes due to the classic symptoms but isn't sure if it is H1 or H2 because the outbreak is not that bad. She is thinking it is H1 that has been transmitted in the genital area.

I am trying to have a positive outlook on things, but being single it is especially difficult. I am not seeing anyone seriously at the moment although I have talked to the man I recently was intimate with about all of this. He is showing no sypmtoms but is getting a blood test. I care about him very much and would just die if I gave it to him. Like I said though, he and I are not in a serious relationship. Though I would like more, he isn't ready for other reasons besides the H thing so who knows what will happen there.

I guess I am feeling confused and sad. I see other postings where people are lucky enough to have that caring person in their lives which makes the virus that much easier to handle. While the man I was with is being extrememly understanding, it isn't like we are a couple so that committed security isn't there like it would be if we were seriously dating or married.

I'm not sure what to do. I am assuming it is H of some form due to my doc's opinion, the symptoms, and the fact that Valtrex is helping greatly with the current OB. So where do I go from here? It has been hard enough to find someone without all the added issues. Now I feel like I'm a bit lost.

Is it fair to go out with someone new if they don't know you have H? When should you tell them? Has anyone out there had any successful dating experiences with this? It is one thing to have a caring relationship established before hand and then to find out about H, but it is another to try and build a new relationship knowing from the very beginning because there is no history.

Please help.

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I don't know if my reply is really what you are looking for but here it goes. Even if I don't really have words of advice...it may be comforting to you to know you are not alone. I am a 31 year single female. I contracted HSV 1 genitally through oral sex as well. I am confirmed with a culture and blood test. The man that infected me, informed me he was married with two children when I informed him he infected me. So I kind of got hit with a double whammy. So now I'm single and dealing with being newly infected. I have a lot of the same questions you have. I've only had this about six weeks & I know I am not anywhere near ready to date...not just because of H but because I the betrayal I experienced. However, someday I will be ready. I know there are websites set up to date people with H and then you don't have to deal with the talk or the rejection of someone finding out you have it and running the other way. If you want someone to share you concerns with...feel free to sent me a private message and at least you will have met someone dealing with the same problem you are! Hope you find the answers you are looking for.


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I am in the same boat too, just a tad younger, female....22.

But I give you props for thinking about dating.

I haven't been able to think about dating again, and having to tell my partner. But it will weed out the not so serious ones ( I am sure!)

People at work all the time ask me- Are you married? Are you dating? Why not, your such a pretty girl? It's kinda depressing.

But I try to stay busy with work and school.

I am thinking about going to a support group, but I don't know yet.

I am here to chat as well, be positive!

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Thanks for the support. I can totally relate to not wanting to date. Since I am getting to be in my mid 30's I have been looking more seriously for "the one" but haven't had any luck so far. The guy I have been seeing off and on currently isn't in any emotional place where he can have a committed relationship although I care about him very much. Even before the H bomb dropped, I was thinking of slowing down on the dating thing and just hang for a while to see if anything could develop between he and I. This puts a whole new kink in things though. Now I'm not sure what to do. I don't feel like dating at the moment, but I know I will at some point. I just don't know when both because of the H and because of the guy.

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      it's actually because of bareback bj...
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    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
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