BeWell....did he test positive for trich, and did you test positive for it as well? Trich is only transmitted through direct genital contact and men's infection resides in their urethra, so if he has it and it is untreated, then, yes...he DID cheat, and, he absolutely must get treated so that you don't get reinfected. Not trying to add to your worries, but if you have reliable test data on trich for BOTH of you, then you would, i think, have definitive proof that he cheated.
Family is there to help and comfort you, so use them if you need to. Don't make herpes out to be this big secret because it's not a big deal. The more secretive we keep it, the more the stigma grows.
If you are really thinking about self harm, then please reach out to your family or someone close. If that means going home to your support network, then do that but you should not be alone trying to fight this if you are in that sort of headspace.
You are not and will not be the failure in your family. Maybe you can talk to just one person in your family for some support? You don't have to tell them all, and/or you can try getting on chat here. It is really helpful. Your life isn't over, I promise you. You must feel very scared and alone being abroad, so talk with your friends, who may be somewhat uninformed, but they seem sympathetic. Share information with them as you learn more. Others here will ask about what tests you've had, and it will be helpful to know exactly what you have. Did you get any medications to treat yourself? The first OB is usually the worst, but it will get better. Check out the treatments section. Read what others have posted and you will see good stories, and hopeful messages. You are not alone and unfortunately, your emotions and thoughts are very similar to most every newly diagnosed person. You CAN live with this, and have a relationship, and not have it ruin your life. Try to take care of yourself - eat, sleep, be with people who care about you, and come here for support. I'll be thinking of you.
Thanks @Sansa218 and @Free73.
I am slowly trying so-called "trigger" foods I love. So far, so good. If I discover I can still eat granola & coconut yogurt I will be so happy! My diet is pretty strict. Lots of fruits & veggies, but I do have a cheeseburger & fries once a month! I cut all sweets except vanilla ice cream after I got herpes. I don't eat out often...I like to cook.
Thanks for sharing about your dating experiences. Gives me hope for the future! I'm still with my BF for now. Things are strained. He feels I should stay with him because all of his STD test results were negative. He is clean. I don't understand it.
@Free73, you're right. I do have trust issues with him. Funny you picked up on that :-) I caught him lying a few times, but I never thought he was cheating until the week this all happened! He was out of town the month before on a business trip (he travels 6-8 times a year for work), so I think that's when it happened. My Spidy Senses (woman's intuition) warned me that whole week! I ignored it and now I'm here.
I love him, but I can't control his actions. If he did cheat, who's to say he won't do it again? He insists he's only been with me. If I had antibodies, or if he had antibodies, that would mean I/he/we already had it and just did not know. If that was the case, I would not accuse him of cheating, but we are both have negative blood tests. Almost 3 years, and he is the only man I have been with...Him cheating recently seems to be the only logical explanation for me having herpes. Only time will tell.
I am so glad I found this site! You all have been awesome and so helpful! Finding this has been a huge help and very comforting.
Hey Andyp, thanks for posting...so your test results came back negative for hsv2?? if so, congrats - that is awesome news!!
can you share your protocol? I know it was OOO (what type, brand, etc) w/ coconut nut oil on spine + OOO oral + ?
I've been considering Zostavax. I already have the RX I just am not ready to drop $225 for something that may or may not help. I did have chicken pox as a child so it will have some benefit. I'm just kinda scared that it might set off my HSV's