Jump to content

guess this is the place to start

21017

By 21017
in Newly Diagnosed

 Share

Recommended Posts

21017 Honeycomb Member

21017

Posted
Posted

I've been dating a woman who told me she has herpes. She didn't tell me she had it until we were dating for a couple months. Kind of upset me, but I understood her reluctance, did a lot of reading and continued the relationship.

Fast forward to yesterday. I find what looks like an ingrown hair in my pubic area, and a couple small pin head sized bumps on my penis. About 2-3 weeks ago, I did have what I am pretty sure was a cold with sore throat. It did not go away until I got antibiotics. It could be related, but a few days after I got the cold, she also did. Anyway, today, the bumps have faded until they really can not be felt, more just seen that they are there. Any ideas or thoughts?

Could this be herpes and fade away so fast? My understanding was that it took a week or 2 to go away?

Yes I know get tested. Could a first outbreak be so mild? She said her first was 20+ years ago, and was what she thought was an ingrown hair, sounded very similar? Can person A have a mild outbreak and then pass it to B who has a severe outbreak?

I am kind of upset even though I thought I understood the risks. She told me she was married and had a long term b/f and neither got it.

What can I expect? if this is a first outbreak, could further outbreaks be worse, or are they almost always less as time goes on?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
WaxedWrong Acknowledged Support Member

WaxedWrong

Posted
Posted

well some people are just more susceptible to getting it>> ex. if ur immune system is already weak.- or her hubby could have had it and never had a ob to let them know he had it aswell.

did u already have sex w/ her before she told you or> after she told u u guys did it?

and it could be.. any tiny dots that appear on ur genitals could be anything but if she has herpes, most likly it might be.

... do u already have it? cause if u did> u wouldnt get the severe outbreak> but if its ur very first time w/ it> u most def MIGHT get a very severe outbreak from ANY contact w/ the virus , be it mild, or not.

and future outbreaks> its all up to ur body/ and the virus> u could have a very small one, then the next one would be very bad... really u cant predict them

Link to comment
Share on other sites
21017 Honeycomb Member

21017

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I had sex with her for a month or 2 before she told me. I was pretty upset when she did, but after reading the risk seemed fairly low, especially compared to the chance I could have dumped her and met another that had it, and either would tell me or wouldn't know.

I have never been tested, but never remember seeing anything like this before.

Is it common that it clear up so fast? I noticed it after lunch yesterday, and now 28-30 hours later it is so faint it looks more like a dot of discoloration than a bump.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
21017 Honeycomb Member

21017

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I read a lot of info on different board, one of which said valtrex (which she takes) cut's the risk in half. Condoms are supposed to reduce it. Other than a few times, I always took a shower right after. Yes I knew it was a chance, but liked her, and realized I could have dumped her and the next person could have had it.

The spots do not hurt at all, maybe a tiny bit of itching at the base, but I always seem to be itchy, ling before meeting her. No pain, maybe a slight tingle, but could be my imagination also. No burning when I pee. Don't feel sick at all

Link to comment
Share on other sites
WaxedWrong Acknowledged Support Member

WaxedWrong

Posted
Posted

we have a few condom discussion going on here> u should check that out.

well i cant diagnose u> and u only have the pink bumps> but u should def go get tested right away> but just be noticeable of other symptoms u might have, or feel (like pain in ur legs) before/ while u notice the bumps...

Link to comment
Share on other sites
tothefuture Acknowledged Support Member

tothefuture

Posted
Posted

Hi

Herpes is completely different for everyone which is part of the problem. It's impossible to diagnose without a swab or blood test. Even doctors (often) get it wrong when they try to diagnose it by just looking. The short answer is yes it could be herpes - so you need to get tested.

Don't like the fact she told you AFTER you'd had sex with her - she had no right to do that. And as for there being a low risk of you getting it - 1 in 4 women have it and 1 in 5 men. I'm afraid she was talking bollocks when she said that.

I wish you luck.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing

  • Donate

    If Honeycomb has helped you, please help us by making a donation so we can provide you with even better features and services.

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
      72k
    • Total Posts
      485.5k

  • Posts

    • Ric12321
      Tiny bump at penis tip

      By Ric12321 · Posted

      it's actually because of bareback bj...
    • scurrred
      How accurate is a blood test for herpes

      By scurrred · Posted

      I had an IGG test  and the ranges were out of range and high  HSV 1 was 42 and HSV 2 was 19 so I guess it was accurate but the problem now is I can't figure out when or who I got it from. In 2018 to 2019 when I was with my ex I was STD tested but not sure if herpes was included but my ex was supposed to get tested but refused. I experienced some trauma with him and didn't date until a year and a half later so I'm confused. The guy I dated after the ex who didn't want to be tested I told them a week ago about my results he was trying to be there for me and understanding,I told him to get tested but to request a herpes blood test , because he had no noticeable lesions or bumps ever is what he said and I never noticed any on him now he has shut down all his social media and I can't reach him. Hoping he's okay, I feel bad because in 2018 I did have what I was told it was an abrasion that tingled but at my doctor the day I was tested they told me it wasn't herpes but I think it was only a visible diagnosis. I keep having it reoccur from time to time 
    • CHT
      HSV genital likely?

      By CHT · Posted

      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      HSV genital likely?

      By FeelingLost75 · Posted

      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
      HSV-2 transmission under Valtrex daily therapy. Hopeful a healthy sex life is possible? Thx for sharing!

      By TS4real · Posted

      Out of curiosity, did you take valtrex at the very first OB?
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.

  I accept