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I've been dating a woman who told me she has herpes. She didn't tell me she had it until we were dating for a couple months. Kind of upset me, but I understood her reluctance, did a lot of reading and continued the relationship.

Fast forward to yesterday. I find what looks like an ingrown hair in my pubic area, and a couple small pin head sized bumps on my penis. About 2-3 weeks ago, I did have what I am pretty sure was a cold with sore throat. It did not go away until I got antibiotics. It could be related, but a few days after I got the cold, she also did. Anyway, today, the bumps have faded until they really can not be felt, more just seen that they are there. Any ideas or thoughts?

Could this be herpes and fade away so fast? My understanding was that it took a week or 2 to go away?

Yes I know get tested. Could a first outbreak be so mild? She said her first was 20+ years ago, and was what she thought was an ingrown hair, sounded very similar? Can person A have a mild outbreak and then pass it to B who has a severe outbreak?

I am kind of upset even though I thought I understood the risks. She told me she was married and had a long term b/f and neither got it.

What can I expect? if this is a first outbreak, could further outbreaks be worse, or are they almost always less as time goes on?

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well some people are just more susceptible to getting it>> ex. if ur immune system is already weak.- or her hubby could have had it and never had a ob to let them know he had it aswell.

did u already have sex w/ her before she told you or> after she told u u guys did it?

and it could be.. any tiny dots that appear on ur genitals could be anything but if she has herpes, most likly it might be.

... do u already have it? cause if u did> u wouldnt get the severe outbreak> but if its ur very first time w/ it> u most def MIGHT get a very severe outbreak from ANY contact w/ the virus , be it mild, or not.

and future outbreaks> its all up to ur body/ and the virus> u could have a very small one, then the next one would be very bad... really u cant predict them

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I had sex with her for a month or 2 before she told me. I was pretty upset when she did, but after reading the risk seemed fairly low, especially compared to the chance I could have dumped her and met another that had it, and either would tell me or wouldn't know.

I have never been tested, but never remember seeing anything like this before.

Is it common that it clear up so fast? I noticed it after lunch yesterday, and now 28-30 hours later it is so faint it looks more like a dot of discoloration than a bump.

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I read a lot of info on different board, one of which said valtrex (which she takes) cut's the risk in half. Condoms are supposed to reduce it. Other than a few times, I always took a shower right after. Yes I knew it was a chance, but liked her, and realized I could have dumped her and the next person could have had it.

The spots do not hurt at all, maybe a tiny bit of itching at the base, but I always seem to be itchy, ling before meeting her. No pain, maybe a slight tingle, but could be my imagination also. No burning when I pee. Don't feel sick at all

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we have a few condom discussion going on here> u should check that out.

well i cant diagnose u> and u only have the pink bumps> but u should def go get tested right away> but just be noticeable of other symptoms u might have, or feel (like pain in ur legs) before/ while u notice the bumps...

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Herpes is completely different for everyone which is part of the problem. It's impossible to diagnose without a swab or blood test. Even doctors (often) get it wrong when they try to diagnose it by just looking. The short answer is yes it could be herpes - so you need to get tested.

Don't like the fact she told you AFTER you'd had sex with her - she had no right to do that. And as for there being a low risk of you getting it - 1 in 4 women have it and 1 in 5 men. I'm afraid she was talking bollocks when she said that.

I wish you luck.

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