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Not sure how to feel...


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Ok - here goes. I was diagnosed 4 days ago as having genital herpes...and I'm just feeling so confused at the moment.

To cut a very long story short...I'm usually an extremly careful person when it comes to safe sex. But I was back where I originally grew up over Christmas and met up with an ex. One thing led to the other and we ended up in bed. We didn't have penetrative sex but basically everything up to that point and there was some genital-genital contact (sounds so clinical!!!).

2 days later sever burning and itching started but I'll be honest and say I thought it wasn't anything major. Then 2 days later noticed why I was so sore...and I had some blisters. At the same time I felt a truck had hit me but I just put it down to the fact I'd been partying loads over the Christmas period.

So went to the doctor where I live (non-native english country...adds to the mess). And he diagnosed it visually (including the swollen lymph nodes) and gave me an anti-viral perscription to reduce the outbreak.

So then it was time to tell the guy I was with over Christmas. He took it well but swore he'd had no symptoms ever of it. At the time he had a v. small cut on his penis and mentioned he got some small cuts every now and then especially after rough sex/masturbation (now I'm wondering was he just having mild outbreaks and not realising???). He's going for tests but I "fear" (that's the best word I can think of) that he comes back negative for this and then I really have no idea where this may all come from.

But here's the really annoying thing of the whole lot.

Next week I start a 3 month world tour that I've been planning for a year! I guess I'm just a bit worried about the symptoms of this initial outbreak continuing (first day of trip is essentially a 24 hour flight) and the fact that I haven't got my head around it or know what I should do to help my body with this and add to it journeying to new strange countries...just not sure how to deal with everything.

Anyway - thanks for letting me get this off my chest as such. I've read a few of the other posts and I believe that people do find the light at the end of the tunnel and manage to have realtionships and lead great lives...but I'm just not sure how to get there yet...so many emotions are going through me during any moment of time at the moment I'm just not sure how to really start dealing with it.

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He got 'small cuts' from masturbating, what was he using a razor blade. It never fails to amaze me how men (sounds sexist but I think it normally is men) who ignore signs which are clearly not normal.

Anyway, I think you need to get medical advice about the medication side of things ie so maybe you can take enough with you to cover the 3 months. I only get mild outbreaks, although they are frequent, I was advised to take meds but refused. I think my body should be able to deal with this through good food, exercise etc. If you're away, you may not have access to a healthy diet so meds may be very helpful for you.

Normally it's only the initial outbreak that's associated with the flu-like symptoms, so the next time you get an outbreak you may not feel anything like as ill. And of course you many never get another OB, or not have one till the summer - you just don't know.

As for how to deal with it. Well one of the best peices of advice I've had about this virus, is to live your life as if you don't have it. (Obviously that doesn't mean not telling potential partners that you have it!). It doesn't mean we should all become deluded! It means, go on your 3 month trip around the world - HOW FANTASTIC IS THAT!!!, and enjoy it to the full. Virus or no virus. What does it really stop us from doing - not a lot. What stops us is what goes on in our minds. Go have the time of your life.....................

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Thanks tothefuture...you're right, I do have a fantastic trip ahead and should enjoy it regardless...just so weird to get this news right before it. I'm guessing that feeling flu-like isn't helping me at the moment either.

Yep, I re-read the "small cuts" comment and I feel soooo stupid for excepting the explanation at the time. Ah well. Maybe that's part of my problem at the moment...I fell really stupid.

Seriously though - thanks for the support and I think you've a very good point when you say "what stops us is our minds"...I'll try and remember it!

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    • Ric12321
      it's actually because of bareback bj...
    • scurrred
      I had an IGG test  and the ranges were out of range and high  HSV 1 was 42 and HSV 2 was 19 so I guess it was accurate but the problem now is I can't figure out when or who I got it from. In 2018 to 2019 when I was with my ex I was STD tested but not sure if herpes was included but my ex was supposed to get tested but refused. I experienced some trauma with him and didn't date until a year and a half later so I'm confused. The guy I dated after the ex who didn't want to be tested I told them a week ago about my results he was trying to be there for me and understanding,I told him to get tested but to request a herpes blood test , because he had no noticeable lesions or bumps ever is what he said and I never noticed any on him now he has shut down all his social media and I can't reach him. Hoping he's okay, I feel bad because in 2018 I did have what I was told it was an abrasion that tingled but at my doctor the day I was tested they told me it wasn't herpes but I think it was only a visible diagnosis. I keep having it reoccur from time to time 
    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
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