Jump to content

Happy New Year?


Recommended Posts

Hello everyone........

NEWBY hear and I am sure that my story is similar to most so, bare with me.

I recently remarried (December 8th, 2006) and I now find that my wife has genetal herpes symptoms.

I would not say that her past sexual life was SLUTY, but she has had many more partners then I have had.

I have only had 4 partners and was married to one of them for 16 years.

NOT that, that makes me better in any way........just different.

She is a very sexual person and enjoyed many partners, but never one night stands, always got to know, or thought she did, her sex partner. We have been dating since last May and have had no other sexual partners.

Well this past weekend she has come down with some blistering. Last week she was pretty sick with what was thought to be a cold/flu and a bad sore throat for about 10 days.

So my questions.........

1) Is it possible that I gave it to her?

and if so, that makes me a carrier? How do I know if I am a carrier?

2) Is it possible that she had been a carrier for a certain length of time and this is her first outbreak?

3) IF she is the carrier and this is her first outbreak, chances are that she has now given it to me even though I have not had an outbreak?

4) I have had since I can remember ......proly 6-7 years or more.... a rash like patch that comes and goes on my butt and a little down my leg and inner thigh, no blistering or anything........I guess I always thought it was soriasis? SP?

I am trying really hard NOT to point the finger, because in reality it makes no difference, THIS is where we are and we cant go back. BUT, on the other hand she is fighting the urge to feel dirty or sluty.

thanks for any response


Link to comment
Share on other sites

reply to happynewyear07

It is very possible that you gave it to her. Especially if you have had the come and go symptoms you described. Those are less common, but all the same, still symptoms of HSV. I got herpes virus from my boyfriend of three years. He was a carrier all this time and never knew it. His first assumption was that I gave it to him, but after my blood test confirmed "new antibodies", we learned he gave it to me. If you want to know for sure, then both get a blood test and specifically ask the doctor to request the results and to tell you which of you has older antibodies and which of you has newer antibodies. This will tell you who gave it to who. However, like you said, it does not matter in the end because one, or both of you have it, but it will give you piece of mind and help her emotionally to know that she might not have infected you. Hope that helps a little bit.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


Can you give me a further explanation of what you think my symptoms are?

the rash that comes and goes has been doing so for a very long time.....it is possible for me to be a carrier that long?

they never blister.....

just need help in understand.

and if I am a carrier and we have sex will i become more then a carrier and actually get it?

I am trying very hard to help her, ease her mind......our minds.

thanks for all responses.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

The symptoms can be so slight and sometimes non existent. People that are carriers still have the virus in their body, hence they "carry" the virus and transmit it....maybe just dont have symptoms. They still have herpes.....people just try to get all technical....if you carry it, you can pass it on, therefore....you still have herpes and have to abid by the same moral responsibility that people should take when having it. All people with the virus in their body are potential viral shedders (occurs with no visible symptoms or signs, but the virus is present on their skin during certain times) In my case I do not get typical symptoms.....never have had a sore or lesion or anyhing that I would have previously never thought it to be herpes. I only get rash like symptoms....appearing on the region where my pubic hair covers, just below my underwear line. I also get redness around my anus and there is no visible sign of a problem there ibutt is very painful and feels like a paper cut, but you can't see anything there. The virus is a strange virus and can present itself in many ways. I have heard many people where they only get a small rash on their leg, butt, or upper arm, or groin area and never knew that could be herpes. It is so sad that people are so uneducated about this and that is why it is so feared and stigmatized. I, like most people, never understood how easy it is to get and how easy it is to not know it is even existing in our own bodies or our partners, until we get diagnosed and then within weeks we become experts on the subject. Best advice is to go to a doctor soon and get the blood tests...both of you....or find out if she has new antibodies....then you'll know if she just contracted it from you. It is very possible for you to have had it in your body all these years...heard stories about people having it in their body for 30 years and never knowing it until one random day. It is also possible she may have had it too dormant in her system all these years....the blood tests will help clear things up if you or her recently have antibodies to it. There is also a chance that you or her had it, or both had it all these years but it didnt present itself until now. Talk with your doctor and ask about the presence of new antibodies in her blood or yours, if any. Hope this helps a little....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

if she was recently diagnosed, you can BOTH have a blood test for hsv1 and 2. Should both of you show the antibodies in your system, then chances are, BOTH of you have had it, at least for three months or more. However, if you do not have the antibodies in your blood and she is showing symptoms, chances are she caught them a while back and the little herpes manifested themselves NOW. OR if you test positive for the antibodies and she doesn't, well then, you had it but no symptoms and passed it onto her.

Hope that helps.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Donate

    If Honeycomb has helped you, please help us by making a donation so we can provide you with even better features and services.

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
    • Total Posts
  • Posts

    • Ric12321
      it's actually because of bareback bj...
    • scurrred
      I had an IGG test  and the ranges were out of range and high  HSV 1 was 42 and HSV 2 was 19 so I guess it was accurate but the problem now is I can't figure out when or who I got it from. In 2018 to 2019 when I was with my ex I was STD tested but not sure if herpes was included but my ex was supposed to get tested but refused. I experienced some trauma with him and didn't date until a year and a half later so I'm confused. The guy I dated after the ex who didn't want to be tested I told them a week ago about my results he was trying to be there for me and understanding,I told him to get tested but to request a herpes blood test , because he had no noticeable lesions or bumps ever is what he said and I never noticed any on him now he has shut down all his social media and I can't reach him. Hoping he's okay, I feel bad because in 2018 I did have what I was told it was an abrasion that tingled but at my doctor the day I was tested they told me it wasn't herpes but I think it was only a visible diagnosis. I keep having it reoccur from time to time 
    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.