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I am 32, male, and I have been divorced now for a little over a year after 11 years of marriage. My wife was my 3rd sexual partner - we were 19 when we married. My first two sexual partners were one-time things, and protection was used both times.

My wife and I divorced when she left me for her boss at work. During the course of the divorce, she confessed to five affairs over the 11 years. I was devastated by this news, as I was very much in love with her and had never cheated on her once.

Anyway, after I found out about the affairs, I went to my doctor and asked to be tested for "STD's." I was clear for HIV, gonorrhea, chlamidia, etc. I assumed I was clear for herpes, too. As it turns out, they never tested for it. I wish I had been more educated on what to ask for. It never occurred to me to ask for herpes, since I had never had an outbreak.

I recently started dating a wonderful woman. There were no sexual partners in between her and my ex-wife. I told this woman that I was clear for STDs because I thought I was. A week or so ago, I got a cold sore on my lip, a fever and swollen glands in my neck. I freaked out, and we both got blood tests for herpes. She came back negative. I have both Herpes 1 and 2. I've never had an outbreak on my genitals - just the one on my lip. I guess it's just a matter of time.

I assume I got it from my ex-wife. She happens to be pregnant right now and just got remarried last weekend. I feel like I should call her and warn her, but I know she'll blame me if she does have it. At this point, I don't give a rat's rear end whether she or her new husband get it, but I am concerned about the baby, who is an innocent.

I'm so angry and upset right now. My girlfriend says she doesn't care, we'll work it out, but I am feeling very untouchable right now. If I had known I was infected, I would have never entered into another relationship.

Anyway, that's my story. Despite this introductory novella, I'm not a very chatty person, and I'm here for information mostly.

Entering lurk mode. . . .

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welcome aboard. i dont think the doctors know where this thing comes from. ur new girl might have it and not know, so many storeys of doctors not being able to diagnose like me. i know i have it but the test say i dont. every bit of literature i read sais difrent things. but if ur wife admited to having affairs then its probably her.

read up on remedys b4 u take them, personaly id look into the chienese and herbal remedys. dont make these pharmecutical companys any money if u dont have to. id rather my body built up a deffence itself than take these synthetic drugs that cause more problems.

i still cant get my head round it, we can see proxima centuri and alpha thru a telescope, these stars would take 10 million yearsto reach traveling at the speed of light. yet theres no cure for a virus.

its ur call but, id try and stay away from these corporate drug companys.

the chienese have been practising herbal remedys for thousands of years, they gotta b doin summit right

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    • scurrred
      I had an IGG test  and the ranges were out of range and high  HSV 1 was 42 and HSV 2 was 19 so I guess it was accurate but the problem now is I can't figure out when or who I got it from. In 2018 to 2019 when I was with my ex I was STD tested but not sure if herpes was included but my ex was supposed to get tested but refused. I experienced some trauma with him and didn't date until a year and a half later so I'm confused. The guy I dated after the ex who didn't want to be tested I told them a week ago about my results he was trying to be there for me and understanding,I told him to get tested but to request a herpes blood test , because he had no noticeable lesions or bumps ever is what he said and I never noticed any on him now he has shut down all his social media and I can't reach him. Hoping he's okay, I feel bad because in 2018 I did have what I was told it was an abrasion that tingled but at my doctor the day I was tested they told me it wasn't herpes but I think it was only a visible diagnosis. I keep having it reoccur from time to time 
    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
    • FeelingLost75
      How are you doing now?
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