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Scared, Please Help


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I was just diagnosed this week. I have 1&2, I never had a breakout I found out through a routine check up. Please help me out, I have questions.

1. Will I be able to ever kiss again.

2. I don't have break outs will blisters anyway, nothing I noticed I can I avoid spreading it to someone else? I will use a condom, but from what I read it can be passed through skin.

3. I'm currently single, is there ever a chance I will get in a relationship.

Please give me some help.:confused: :confused:

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From what I understand, you can spread herpes through sex even if you are not currently experiencing an outbreak because of something called "shedding".

I don't know much about HSV-1 because I only have HSV-2. I DO know that a HUGE amount of people have HSV-1. If you have ever had a cold sore, you are HSV-1 positive.

I don't know if there is any way to have "safe" sex, in that, you won't risk transmission to your partner. I don't think there is.

There is certainly an excellent chance of having a relationship in the future with an understanding, mature person. Casual relationships may be a little more difficult though. But we all want to be with a mature understanding person anyway so you may just save yourself some sucky relationship experiences as a result of this.

I know several people that have this and are married and/or in relationships.

And in at least a few cases, the significant other was not infected at the onset of the relationship.

There is no need to think that your future is bleak.

Get all the info. you can, talk to us here and work on acceptance.

Herpes is just a part of who I am now, that's the way I see it. And there are far worse things that's for sure!

Hang in there!

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I am surprised your doctor did not explain these things to you. I would call and ask your questions!!

yes you can kiss again, just be extra careful not to when occuring!!!

condoms may not always cover those areas! and not smart...just wait!! H it is passed from the blister to an opening in the skin. you can not only pass to others but even to yourself. like if you touch it and then touch a cut on your arm, voila, now you have it on your arm. there are some instances where "shedding" occurs as Jen mentioned, but it is my understanding that shedding is when people who have it don't know they have it, because it is mild, and pass it on to others. Once you learn more about you, your outbreaks, you will be able to sense (literally) when an outbreak is coming on; don't have sex, before, during or shortly after. if shedding...not sure what to advise.

of course there is, just not so easy as before...if it ever really is.

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1) yes you can kiss again HSV-1 is extremely common. just no kissing with sores

2) the disease is passed on via skin-to-skin contact- you HAVE to tell your sexual partner- oral/vaginal- when I got it there was no symptoms and he apparently had never had a breakout! Valtrex will help reduce the chance of spreading. Be thankful you aren't one of us with extemely painful outbreaks

3) it is very difficult- i'm struggling with the relationship thing myself- atleast you will know whoever youa re with isreally with you for the right reasons!

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    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
    • FeelingLost75
      How are you doing now?
    • TS4real
      May 13 ( day I will never forget).. a guy I was dating and I drank way to much and decided to have anal sex. We did use protection however, not enough lube, wasn’t done correctly and it was painful. So bad that I yelled out and fell off the bed. Anyway, oral was also performed on me anal and vaginal. Flash forward to 3-4 days after that. I was in the most intense pain I had ever felt. I went to a gyn she tool one look and said it looks like herpes. She swabbed me . 2 days after that, yes it’s HSV1 . I was still in pain, irritated anal area and vaginal area and It was unbearable.  today, I still have irritation and itchy and when I pass a bowel i’m in pain and the itch is crazy.     When I first was diagnoses the gyn gave me valtrex which I did not take bc I was in so much pain I could not move for 2 days.  Groin lymphs were swollen I had fever , tired etc.  I am wondering if I had taken the valtrex would it have kinda liked stopped the virus in it’s tracks enough to reproduce? Do people see a correlation between no more outbreaks and immediate initial valtrex  use ? I am 43, I never thought this wound happen as I am not a promiscuous person, I hardly date and I always use protection when I do have intercouse , have yearly std tests. I’m just so sad that i’m at this point right now . I’m trying not to get depressed but this is making my body feel miserable. I’m an avid runner and biker and mom of two teens. I feel like my life as I knew is over. I want to feel better already.
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