Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
foreverlonely

My husband gave me herpes...

7 posts in this topic

My husband cheated on me about two years ago and got Chlymadia from a one night stand (and gave it to me). Since that time, I have gotten tested every 6 months. Last week, I did my usual round of STD testing and I was devastated when I got the news that I have gential herpes.

Just when my life seems to be coming together it is falling apart. I hate my husband so much right now because he took my life from me so I want to take his. I had planned on filing for a divorce after I made my 10 years in the marriage (so that I could draw from his social security) but now what's the point?

I wish he would just die. He has taken my chance to live a normal life with someone that would love me BUT that won't happen now because I would never want to take that risk with anyone else's life.

I can't eat--and I'm living on pure rage and hate at the moment. I've never known this much anger in my life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm really sorry to hear that! Your life isn't over it just seems like that! I understand that completely...research says that a LOT more people than we realize have it. You have to try to have some faith. I know it is VERY difficult...just try.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Has he had more affairs since then? That sucks. It's not worth it, living with him and hating him. There are decent guys out there who will care for you even though you have HSV, I guarantee it. You can absolutely have a great relationship regardless. I know things look hopeless right now and you are angry, as you have every right to be. But don't stay with this guy just because you think no one else will have you. Because that is so not true. I swear.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So if I've got this right - if you've been tested every 6 months since he had the affair then he MUST have been unfaithful again, otherwise you would have tested positive for herpes before now.

If this is the first time you've been tested for herpes, then there's always the possibility that you've had it for years but without symptoms/signs (I'm only saying this because in the UK routine STD screening does not include testing for herpes!!!! ) :???:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel your pain!!

I am in the same situation. I just found out about my husbands OTHER life and affair just last Sept. We had slept before me even finding out about his affair. I then got an STD and I went back to my OB and requested a FULL STD scan since on a previus thread when you get tested you must request for a FULL STD scan which I didnt know till now. I just found out I tested positive for HSVI/II..AGAIN I am devastated!!! Like you I HATE my so-called husband. I look at him and am disgusted. We have been married coming up 10years and his affair of 10 months has cost me EVERYTHING. Not only did he bring home STD's but also an illegitimate child from his mess.

The other threads are right. WE CAN AND WILL GO ON!!! There is someone out there who will love us with this disease!!!

We will have to learn to live now a more cautious life now. I have 3 children that bring me the utmost joy. So, since being newly diagnosed I am now focusing on getting very educated on HSV and trying to go on and live a productive life!!!

As for my low-life of a husband he can go where the sun dont shine!!! HE is the LOSER in all of this. His life, his marriage, his STRENGTH, is gone. What does he have? From what I see. He has nothing!!!

We are the VICTORS...dont let him take anymore of YOU...You matter in this world..It is just too bad they dont see that!!

Chin up and look to the sun...There is always LIFE,,,Take care and I hope things look up for you!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
My husband cheated on me about two years ago and got Chlymadia from a one night stand (and gave it to me). Since that time, I have gotten tested every 6 months. Last week, I did my usual round of STD testing and I was devastated when I got the news that I have gential herpes.

Just when my life seems to be coming together it is falling apart. I hate my husband so much right now because he took my life from me so I want to take his. I had planned on filing for a divorce after I made my 10 years in the marriage (so that I could draw from his social security) but now what's the point?

I wish he would just die. He has taken my chance to live a normal life with someone that would love me BUT that won't happen now because I would never want to take that risk with anyone else's life.

I can't eat--and I'm living on pure rage and hate at the moment. I've never known this much anger in my life.

Ladies, in the United States, what your husbands have done is not only outrageous, but patently illegal. You can sue him. In fact, you can even sue the person who infected HIM, if they had reason to believe they might be infected. This is just American legal information. I am not telling you what to do. But so few people know their legal rights in these matters--including the perpetrators who don't assume their behavior could have serious health or legal consequences, which does go towards their repeat negligence about it all. Here's one case study if of interest.

http://biotech.law.lsu.edu/cases/STDs/Meany.htm

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
He has taken my chance to live a normal life with someone that would love me BUT that won't happen now because I would never want to take that risk with anyone else's life.

Foreverlonely,

The others are right, there are guys out there who will ride this out with you. I did.

DM

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0

  • Latest Buzz

    • Terrell
      Rather asking when Ian Fraizer or Gen. Or Halford will finish with a possible outcome of 50% chance then study immunology, neurons, nutrition, and I have faith that the natural cure is out there we must find the technology by which we deliver it we have an abundance of knowledge readily available. So don't study to hold a conversion or win a debate rather to win a war and help a brother or a siste. Proof it can be done well I studied electrical engineering before going to school and increase my salary by approximately 87% and I studied on my own self taught and still heavily recruited that's militating for any none believer we hold the key. A professor quoted " it's easier to simplify that which is complicated rather than complicate that which is already simple" Ron Larson- no plagiarism God bless
    • muse93
      So I just found out I have genital HSV 1 yesterday. About 2 weeks ago while my BF and I were on vacay, my vagina became extremely sore after a few days after we had sex. It would hurt to sit down and even walk. I also had lesions between my vagina and anus..multiple lesions that were painful. Before this vacation, I started having a small cut between that same area that would take forever to heal.  I originally thought it was an allergic reaction to the lubricant that we used. I went to my OB/GYN and she told me I had BV, and recommended I get tested for herpes. She gave me clindamycin for that, which also helped with the lesions. By this time the pain in my vagina was long gone.  I just don't know if I should consider this my first outbreak...or not because the pain went away on its own, and the antibiotic healed the lesions. I don't know if I should get retested because I was tested after the pain already went away.      Also, could I have an outbreak days later from having sex with my boyfriend. I never experienced this until we started having sex. A few days after sex thats when my vagina became extremely sore. 
       
    • Sarahbby28
      One more question is a bump that goes away in a day or two no pain or itchiness herpes
    • Jeremy Spokein
      I'm so happy I found this post. Thanks for this.
    • nervouswreck
      Hello everyone . I recently had a yeast infection(confirmed by doctor) so I went to the store to pick up a Monistat 1. I used it . and Immediately started burning really bad. I continued to use it for a second day think it would go away. While I was at work , of course the medicine from the egg shape ovule was coming out  , so I was also using the external vulva cream and that started burning so badly . I just said F** it and stopped using it. I noticed it has burned the skin off of my labia. So I went to the Urgnt Care , I had blisters and cuts from the medicine burning me up and again the ovule medication was still expelling from me and it was burning from touching the cuts. So when I went there she prescribed me Diflucan ,and nystatin-tricolome . She tested for all STDS all came back negative. So I started using the cream . and im impatient so I started panicking. It burns soo bad when I peed. The doctor didn't think I needed a test for herpes. So 2 days after I went back in the same pain , burns to tears when I pee. and cuts. So another doctor prescribed me Valtrex and did the swabs and blood tests . Im awaiting my results. This isn't my first time using Monistat. But is my first time using Monistat 1. Im extremely nervous im just hoping and praying its an allergic reaction ive been crying every day . and prayer. pacing back and forth. the thing is I didn't get any of these until I used the monistat . OH god please let it be allergic reaction . PLEASE pray for me . im so scared , im crying writing this . please keep me in your prayers.   
    • Jeremy Spokein
      You don't have to tell them. The reason you want to tell people is likely to get validation and support that you're still the same person. Someone to help you through the process without judgment and with understanding. While this will be helpful *with the right people*, it certainly isn't necessary as much as you may think. That part is only up to you to reconcile. Initially, I had only planned on telling 1 person in Asia and my dad when I came back to visit my family in the USA. I told my 1 friend in Asia, and ironically, he told me he had it too and that everything would be ok. He still dates women and is SO nonchalant about the whole thing that he has inspired me to pay no mind to this at all. He lives his life as if he's the same person – he only abstains from sex during an outbreak. He got it 3 years ago, and he told me not to worry at all, it gets better over time. It's very common in Thailand, so it's not even tested for in standard STD panels. In the USA, it's still common (1 in 5 people have it), but there's more of a stigma attached to it. I've been back in the USA now for a week now. I thought I'd have told my dad already. But the need to tell anyone else has really gone away. The only person I will tell is the next person who I will potentially start a relationship with if we plan on having unprotected sex. I'll be on suppressive therapy. And I'm not having unprotected sex unless I'm in a committed relationship – that's the way I've always been. I've been journaling a lot and the help of everyone on this forum has really offered more social support than anyone else I can think of "in real life." I'm starting suppressive therapy as of today and after this busy week is over, I'm planning on seeing an ND/master herbalist. I don't want to take Valtrex every day for more than a year, even though I know it's safe to do so. Just a personal choice. The worst symptoms subside after the first outbreak and after the first few months. After a year, viral shedding is diminished too, from what I understand. I want to explore the herbal remedies. There HAS to be a cure/remedy for this somewhere on the planet. This virus has been around for so much of our human history. It was passed on from chimps long before we were even human. You'll be ok and so will everyone else on this forum. Initially, you're going to focus on this thing so much because it's a sudden change in lifestyle and health status. But you're still super healthy, you're still the same person, nothing else has changed and it shouldn't affect how you value yourself and how you see the world. If we focus on the "problem," it becomes our focus. I, instead, have chosen to make the best dietary and lifestyle changes not just for the virus, but for my entire well-being as well. Focusing on what I want in life now – health, wealth, education, joy, happiness, relationships, and living my dream + fulfilling my personal goals. All of my energy goes to these things. Albeit, now, I don't allow myself to stress over meaningless matters which are insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Stay true, stay humble, and keep marching on! "You can be as mad as a mad dog at the way things went. You could wear, curse the Fates. But when it comes to the end, you have to let go." - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008) BTW, this is all just one perspective on things. Here are two other great posts I recommend you check out:  
    • Jeremy Spokein
      Good point... I've already accepted it. It doesn't matter how it happened, fact of the matter is that it happened. C'est la vie.
    • Lilibet
      @VVK @moonshine24 @WilsoInAus ghsv1 confirmed today... Joy! thanks for all your help and advice x
    • Sanguine108
      Looking at the ingredients, it's interesting...  Like the person who made it just threw western medical science studied herbs that are antiviral, immune tonics.    You take this every day?   2 questions.
      - How does it taste?
      - How are your bowel movements since taking it?
    • flowerrebel
      Most people suggest getting a Lysine supplement, corn starch to dry out the sores along with soaking in Epsom salt to soothe.
  • Featured