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whofan27

By whofan27
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whofan27 Honeycomb Member

whofan27

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Hi all,

I'm new here. I'm not entirely new to Herpes, as I contracted it from my wife a few years ago.

Here's my story:

She and I met in 2000 and she told me almost immediately she had the virus. The only thing she DIDN'T know was whether it was oral or genital, as she received it from a previous boyfriend who had oral, but her symptoms were the results of him performing oral sex on her. So, I guess it could be either?

Anyway, in 2003 I came down with a nasty flu bug. High fever, horrible burning when I pee, aches and pains, and then...all of the sudden, a single little scab on the side of my penis. I went to my internist who immediately diagnosed me with Herpes. He never performed any tests, so which virus I have is still up in the air. I was given a course of Valtrex, and felt better within a few days.

This past summer I contracted viral meningitis, and it was confirmed the Herpes virus was the only detected bug living in my spinal fluid (again, I don't know which form). I was put on Valtrex for the 2nd time.

Since then, I've had no noticeable symptoms (YEAH!!!) and it was never a big deal to me, since I was married to a woman who was also HSV+.

Okay, but, that was then, this is now. She and I are getting divorced. I've started dating again, and have begun to realize that not everyone in the world I'm attracted to and find a connection with want anything to do (sexually) with this virus. ARGH!!!

Funny thing is, I met a woman who's fairly promiscuous (as I'm quickly led to believe) and she admits to having occasional cold sores around her mouth. Yet, she's a self-described "germophobe". I want to get tested to find out which strain I have, and then recommend she also get tested, just to put her fears to rest, but don't know if that's a good course of action.

I want to be the good guy and always give a woman the chance to make an informed decision. Anything less will somehow come back to bite me in the arse, I'm quite sure. So, I have to learn to deal with this.

Another thing...I haven't NOTICED any OBs since my first, with the exception of the meningitis last summer. Are there people who genuinely only have NON-recurring HSV? Or, are my OBs just too subtle to notice?

Anyway, I'm glad to be amongst a group of people who actually are in the know about their infection, as I've read that some 80%-90% of HSV infected people actually DON'T know!:eek:

Oh well...life goes on.

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WaxedWrong Acknowledged Support Member

WaxedWrong

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if u havent had any outbreaks since the first, u prob have type1, its outbreaks are less, then type 2.

also unless u are seriously dating(OR plan to) that other woman, asking her to get tested is pretty rude. if u are in the stages of getting into that relationship, and she knows u have herpes, u can alwasys ask her to come w/ you to get tested, for support> and she can get tested as well if she wanted to

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BoxofRain Acknowledged Support Member

BoxofRain

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you may have type 1 or 2 but its not neccesarily type 1 just because the outbreaks are so infrequent. a large portion of the infected population carrying type 2 do not have frequent outbreaks and that is why they are not aware they have it. A lot of times those people without frequent occuring outbreaks are spreading the virus asymptomatically more often. Thats the case with my boyfriend as well. He never had a sore ever and has been carrying this virus for a few years and never knew it until I contracted it. Since then he has only had a sore one time a year ago... one tiny little dot...thats it. Lucky him....i get atypical outbreaks all over all the time.

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whofan27 Honeycomb Member

whofan27

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you may have type 1 or 2 but its not neccesarily type 1 just because the outbreaks are so infrequent. a large portion of the infected population carrying type 2 do not have frequent outbreaks and that is why they are not aware they have it. A lot of times those people without frequent occuring outbreaks are spreading the virus asymptomatically more often. Thats the case with my boyfriend as well. He never had a sore ever and has been carrying this virus for a few years and never knew it until I contracted it. Since then he has only had a sore one time a year ago... one tiny little dot...thats it. Lucky him....i get atypical outbreaks all over all the time.
Yeah...I understand that one...my ex-wife had outbreaks quite frequently. Still I've only had the one that I know about.

As I've read, it can even appear as a pimple on my butt...and I'm DEFINITELY not in tune with those "prodromes" I keep reading about...headaches? I've always had them. Backaches? I was in enough car accidents to cause insurance companies to run. Also, backaches run in my family. Tingling? Who the heck knows...I sure haven't noticed it. Maybe I'm lucky, but then again, maybe not...2 sides to every coin.

At least I know I've got it.

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whofan27 Honeycomb Member

whofan27

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just a question.....what were your symptoms when they thought you had meningitis?

I went to the hospital because of a massive headache that didn't go away for 2 days. They somehow came up with the idea of doing a spinal tap because of their suspicions I might have it, and 2 spinal taps did, in fact, confirm I had viral meningitis with the herpes virus present in the first draw (but not the second).

I didn't have any sores, however. I've read that herpes can actually cause Meningitis, but with no sores, I considered that a non-outbreak.

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Guest dangermouse

Guest dangermouse

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A lot of times those people without frequent occuring outbreaks are spreading the virus asymptomatically more often. Thats the case with my boyfriend as well. He never had a sore ever and has been carrying this virus for a few years and never knew it until I contracted it. Since then he has only had a sore one time a year ago... one tiny little dot...thats it. Lucky him....i get atypical outbreaks all over all the time.

BoxofRain,

Sometimes men lie about their status. How did you come to decide that your boyfriend was telling the truth about not knowing?

DM

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    • CHT
      HSV genital likely?

      By CHT · Posted

      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      HSV genital likely?

      By FeelingLost75 · Posted

      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
      HSV-2 transmission under Valtrex daily therapy. Hopeful a healthy sex life is possible? Thx for sharing!

      By TS4real · Posted

      Out of curiosity, did you take valtrex at the very first OB?
    • FeelingLost75
      Tell me your symptoms

      By FeelingLost75 · Posted

      How are you doing now?
    • TS4real
      GHSV1 has be going crazy

      By TS4real · Posted

      May 13 ( day I will never forget).. a guy I was dating and I drank way to much and decided to have anal sex. We did use protection however, not enough lube, wasn’t done correctly and it was painful. So bad that I yelled out and fell off the bed. Anyway, oral was also performed on me anal and vaginal. Flash forward to 3-4 days after that. I was in the most intense pain I had ever felt. I went to a gyn she tool one look and said it looks like herpes. She swabbed me . 2 days after that, yes it’s HSV1 . I was still in pain, irritated anal area and vaginal area and It was unbearable.  today, I still have irritation and itchy and when I pass a bowel i’m in pain and the itch is crazy.     When I first was diagnoses the gyn gave me valtrex which I did not take bc I was in so much pain I could not move for 2 days.  Groin lymphs were swollen I had fever , tired etc.  I am wondering if I had taken the valtrex would it have kinda liked stopped the virus in it’s tracks enough to reproduce? Do people see a correlation between no more outbreaks and immediate initial valtrex  use ? I am 43, I never thought this wound happen as I am not a promiscuous person, I hardly date and I always use protection when I do have intercouse , have yearly std tests. I’m just so sad that i’m at this point right now . I’m trying not to get depressed but this is making my body feel miserable. I’m an avid runner and biker and mom of two teens. I feel like my life as I knew is over. I want to feel better already.
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