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BF tested HSV2+, some questions...


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Hi all,

MY bf has been diagnosed +. He's shocked to have been diagnosed (tested because I went on the pill, and we wanted to do away with condoms). He's never had symptoms.

He told me immediately, and I appreciate that a lot, and relationship is something I really want to pursue.

The question is of course... HOW.... And this is where I hope to get help from all of you. So I have several questions:

(1) He's been aymptomatic. From what I understand, viral shedding is about 5% in "off" times. So question #1 - where is the shedding from?? I understand it's from mucuous membrane, but men are not very mucuous around the penis... Is it still from the skin?

(2) I found it says that the virus is not in semen, but at the same time, advice to ejaculate externally if not using condoms???

(3) I am just curious how many of you +/- couples use condoms. What if a relationship really works out, and lasts... Do you keep on using condoms for years?? I mean, it does take away from the moment... I am referring here to OFF times of course. Clearly during OB it is best to abstain or if not, use condoms.

(4) He's been asymptomatic as far as he can remember. From what I understand, the most severe occurrence is usually soon after contracting the virus. Has anybody on the forum (or their partner), been diagnosed, was asymptomatic for a long time, and then out of the blue had an outbreak? I guess I am trying to determine the chances of an outbreak after an asymptomatic onset.

(5) Has anyone (or their bf/gf), have symptoms that DO NOT include warts, and that they can RECOGNIZE? If so, what? Just wondering in terms of trying to identify periods of worst viral shedding in the absence of a full OB.

(6) Does anyone know if antibodies level reflects time since infection? Is it correlated to anything?

(7) Does anyone know of a test for viral shedding?

Thanks for your help everyone, and all the best!!!

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ok...here are a few answers I hope will help you a little.

No, no test for shedding that you could do before sex or contact to know at the time. shedding occurs at different rates for everyone....some more than others...more often. thats probably the worst thing about having this...its kind of like Russian roulette.

also, in my case.....similar to yours.....my boyfriend and i were together for 3 years and he had NO clue he had it.....NEVER a symptom ever.....and we had unprotected sex and contact for 3 years and i never got it,, he never had a symptom....we never knew that was possible either. Then one day I got a horrible rash.....thought it was a yeast infection it was so itchy and so i went to the doctor and thought they would tell me it was some irritation or yeast infection or something but instead she said she thought it might be herpes....i thought theres no way in hell it is that.....how could it be????/what??? well then i got a type specific blood test and sure enough there were "new" antibodies in my blood for type 2. So i went home to tell my boyfriend who upon my outbreak also got his first visible sore at the same time. Turns out he had older antibodies in his system and mine were newer so thats how my doc knew i got it from him. it was lying dormant in his system all these years and he never knew and we never saw a symptom ever

....over half the time people have NO symptoms at all for long periods of time or ever and that is why they never know they have it and spreading is so common. Also, when you go to a doctor and say you want to be tested for all stds (common to ask at the gyno too) and they say ok.....what most people dont know is that they DO NOT test for herpes in that "ALL" std testing you request so people with no symptoms think they are clean after such tests....same at a lot of clinics. So messed up that they do not test for it and people dont know this....you have to ask specifically for it....nice if they told people this huh? anyway, there is a chance you also have this after being with him all this time.....even with condoms.....they DO NOT protect against this 100%....there is asymptomatic shedding and also if the condom doesnt cover the area where the virus is on the skin (visible or not) it can be passed on. its possible to get it in your mouth and less commonly on your hands from touching areas infected (visible symptoms or not) many people believe it is less commonly spread to the mouth or hands but it still happens.....each case is different.that is why if your partner has it genitally they suggest condoms always even when no visible signs, and condoms for oral sex so as to not get it in your mouth....which leads to your question about long term relationships with people who have it....its really a personal choice if people are willing to risk getting it if they are truly committed and think it might be long term. in your case though....you may already have it and not have symptoms....or you have not contracted it yet. also, i have read many conflicting things about it being in semen and body fluid. It is however definitely transmitted when on the skin (visible to the naked eye or not) i have read in several websites that it is in semen and in urine of an infected person...i will try to find the site again and post them if you are interested but there is a lot of conflicting statements about it and uneducation which is not helpful.

Either way get tested.....type specific blood test and in response to your question about knowing how long youve had it....for a type specific blood test it will tell you which type you have and also "newer" antibodies present differently or there are a different amount of them or something along that line. 2 doctors have explained to me that the general window of time in which these antibodies indicate a recent exposure range from present time back to 4 or 5 months roughly.....if it has been in your body longer than that the antibodies will be old. So, there is a chance if his are new and you get tested and yours are old then you could have possibly had it lying dormant and given it to him. These are just truthful possibilites..not meant to scare or worry you....just educate you. Your doctor can be more helpful in explaining this stuff to you but for now I hope that helped a little comming from someone who actually has this and has a boyfriend who has it too. Doctors sometimes vary in their knowledge about this and it is miseducation even amongst professionals that i feel keeps this spreading more and more sometimes. Basically, once you get tested....i recommend setting up an appointment with your doctor to discuss the results (positive or negative) and go with your boyfriend and talk openly with the doctor about what either outcome means for you guys and how to take necessary precautions in either scenario. good luck to you guys...i hope things go as well as possible.

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