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i don't know why..


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Ever since i heard the doctor say herpes i have obviously been scared. I go to blame my boyfriend and i know it's not his fault because he didn't know. But i can't help it, i've been a total and complete B**** to him and i think about it after and it's like "wow, why did i just do that?" but i figure it's jsut because i'm upset and he's there to blame. i know he would never leave me sometimes he'll cry and say he's sorry for it all and he wishes he would have known , but it's not fair that i keep acting the way i do. And it's like a really understand but i dont know why i do those things. Did anyone else ever experience this? or ahve any suggestions?

Also, question, unrelated to the above information. but this is my first outbreak. The doctor said it was too late for medication, but it keeps getting worse, and now i can barely wallk and sit. there are many more sores and they are now down by my anus. any way to keep them from spreading?! thanks!

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umm its NEVER to late for medication, get back to your doctor and demand some.

and if u treat someone crappy for long enough, they might leave, so i would try and work on your issues... did he give it to you? like are you positive that he did? (he had a post. test result?) and you need to realize your in a great situation- you have someone, right now, that accepts you, and is there for you, and your treating them like shit- millions of people right now would kill for what you have. my advice- keep your mouth shut, think it through, wait a few min- relax, then say something. i know if i said everything i thought of when i was pissed off at my bf, i would be single now

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I agree with waxedwrong but I do think it's natural to be angry. And ok, he didn't know he had it, but at the end of the day it was HIM who gave it to you. But then he didn't know he had it. And so on and so on. You can go round and round in circles. But really he's not the one to feel angry towards. He hasn't deceived you in anyway. It's just a crappy situation which isn't his fault.

I don't know anything about the medication except I do know there IS medication you can take! You're doctor's wrong.

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Thanks, and i've gotten better. i think i realize the more i come to accept the fact that i have it and that's that, the more relaxed i am about it all. I guess it's just like you never expect yourself to get something like this and of course you don't want to blame yourself. But in the end, i was the one who had sex with him. Well i can't talk to my doctor until Monday, i already tried to call. hmm.. hopefully it'll be a little better by then. I've had this now for about a week and a half and i do feel it getting better so maybe it's on it's way to healing? or is it tricking me? haha. but thanks again =]

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    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
    • FeelingLost75
      How are you doing now?
    • TS4real
      May 13 ( day I will never forget).. a guy I was dating and I drank way to much and decided to have anal sex. We did use protection however, not enough lube, wasn’t done correctly and it was painful. So bad that I yelled out and fell off the bed. Anyway, oral was also performed on me anal and vaginal. Flash forward to 3-4 days after that. I was in the most intense pain I had ever felt. I went to a gyn she tool one look and said it looks like herpes. She swabbed me . 2 days after that, yes it’s HSV1 . I was still in pain, irritated anal area and vaginal area and It was unbearable.  today, I still have irritation and itchy and when I pass a bowel i’m in pain and the itch is crazy.     When I first was diagnoses the gyn gave me valtrex which I did not take bc I was in so much pain I could not move for 2 days.  Groin lymphs were swollen I had fever , tired etc.  I am wondering if I had taken the valtrex would it have kinda liked stopped the virus in it’s tracks enough to reproduce? Do people see a correlation between no more outbreaks and immediate initial valtrex  use ? I am 43, I never thought this wound happen as I am not a promiscuous person, I hardly date and I always use protection when I do have intercouse , have yearly std tests. I’m just so sad that i’m at this point right now . I’m trying not to get depressed but this is making my body feel miserable. I’m an avid runner and biker and mom of two teens. I feel like my life as I knew is over. I want to feel better already.
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