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is it bye bye sex life?


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Hello there!

I just got diagnosed yesterday, and a bloodtest for my boyfriend wont be able to get relieable results until in a weeks time. My outbreak has healed, what do you guys do? I don't want to risk transmitting the virus if he is still ok, does it mean no sex or how do you guys handle it? it drives me crazy!

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Hi Heiks,

First off, I am by no means an expert on the subject, but I can at least speak from my experience. Your sex life is not over! You can calm yourself about that.... but for the sake of your boyfriend's and your sanity, you probably should abstain at least until the results are back and you both have a chance to be fully informed about this situation. You might want to talk about the possible outcomes and what they will mean to each of you before he knows the results.... at least I found that it was easier to be open about your opinions on the matter when it was still slightly hypathetical, and noone was being directly offended. Also, I'm pretty sure that depending on how long he has been exposed to the virus could bring back a false negative result. Just one more scenario you might want to talk about. Either way, I wish you both the best of luck with this.

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a better hello from me

thanks ama!

Well, today i am a little more composed, and i read through your stories and i am really glad to see this forum to share these feelings, and i see that there are some really great people out here with real helpful replies!

Well, my post from yesterday sounds a little immature, and i am basicly not like that, but i guess you all know what it is like, the way your thoughts just circle around this one topic, all the possible scenarios, especially if work doesn't keep u very busy and gives you too much time to think, think,think...where is the switch off button for my brain?

Just soo many questions! And i felt very let down by my doctor, of course, for her it's just some diagnosis, no lifethreatening situation, all good. But she lacked any sort of humour or empathy...she simply didn't get what this ment to me and my partner...today i go and seek someone from the health clinics advise.

After reading your stories i realize at least i am not too bad of...i have a wonderful partner who talks about it - he sees when i try to pull up my wall to deal with it myself and doesn't let me lock him out- and i never experienced any painful outbreak, nothing like you here and my best female friend, who has it as well, describes- I basically thought something with the implant i just got two weeks earlier inserted to get rid of condom use was going wrong, i got some bleeding and went to see a proper lady doctor for that reason, and while i was there i wondered if that little itchy spot was any allergic reaction to that and asked her to have a look at it while she was busy there anyway!

I never thought of it being a herpes!

No pain, just a little itch! i stopped having intercourse already some days prior to that cause i didn't want to aggravate the spot more, as it was getting a little sore, but we had intercourse with the blister at least once, since i have stopped and we are waiting. I was going mad waiting 49hours to be able to talk and learn the truth from my doctor, my partner has to endure even worse, as the bloodtest can't be done until 2 weeks after to be shure- he still has 5 days of horror to go!


I read the descriptions of the feeling when an OB starts, but how long does it take to start and how fast do i have to take medication?I don't know what it feels like as i basically never really had any noticable OB until now, and that wasn't much either.

How likely is the asymptomatic viral shedding, and when do they occur most likely?

Could i get an OB straight after my one that healed off?

I am itching often, result from the combination of sport, life in the tropics, and saltwater environment...thats why i probably never noticed that i had it,even we still don't know, my boyfriend could have been the transmitter as well, he never gets cold sores or had any outbreak though.

Should i take the continious treatment at least for this week to decrease the likelyhood to transmit it to my partner if i haven't done so already?He is wonderful, we both relise that it is pretty impossible to know where it came from (especially in case he tests positive next week) and who ever it was possibly didn't meant

bad as he/she probably didn't know themselves...

How bad is the treatment for your body?

How save is it to have sex using a condom with no OB present?

Well, i hope someone has found answeres to similar questions and shares them with me, otherwise just thank you for being here and providing a spot to discharge the stuff of my chest.:confused:

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