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Is herpes really THAT bad?


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Okay so i was just diagnosed a couple weeks ago, and that OB was horrible, at times i couldn't help but cry, and i just wanted to lay in bed. But as of yesterday it's healed and everything feels as it used to. But now i feel just so happy, and honestly right now, it feels like it's had a positive impact, i feel more thankful for things, and i know it was just my first ob but the whole time i was just so run down and now i feel amazing like, better than i ever have. i was just wondering if anyone else has experienced this? is it normal?

And a question aside from that.. On Monday I had looked at th sores and they were still very oen and it was painful to walk, sit, go to the bethroom etc.. but then i wake up on tuesday with absolutely no pain and i look down there and its normal looking, so sign of anything every being there. Does it always heal this quickly, like it really healed overnight. i wasn't given any medication either.

Thank You!

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its not so much the physical pain for many that is so bad (for me it is insane though) but it is more the emotional pain you will feel......it is normal to experience and people go through it....its like grieving a loss.....there are several stages that occur in the months after people usuallly find out they have this. You are lucky if you can remain optimistic despite everything....I wish I could...but no luck and one and a half years in. Its different in every body so symptoms will present differently, remain for different durations, and cause different responses emotionally depending on the severity, the situation, and the outlook. Good luck to you and I hope you can remain feeling positive about a diagnosis that for some is the end of their worlds. There are good days and bad usually for people with this and their feelings about having it.

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Aww, well i'm sorry to hear it's been so terrible. I hope it does get better. I guess for a while i experienced some of the emotional pain, but then it happened, i can't go back and change it, so i guess i just figured i have to live life and i'm not going to let this stop me. Maybe a few more bumps in the road, but it's definitely not my stopping point.

And, i don't think herpes is the end of the world for anyone. it's a disease you can live with and while not on an OB, do everything normally.

But thank you for your response, and again, i hope everything gets better for you. ["Time heals everything", right?]

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life goes on

I think I try to keep your optimism as example, i am just diagnosed myself a few days ago.

But I guess you are right.

One of my closest friends, who confided a year ago to me that she has it, was my biggest help now. She recons: Babe, it's not the end of the world. It's bad, unconfortable and annoying, but it's not always there and it's nothing that kills ya, it just stays with you for the rest of your life.

My mum, who i love and adore deeply, got into hospital yesterday and it is the question if she has lung cancer or not.

Sounds like a great week for us, ey?

But seing this, what do i worry about some blisters and missing out on some great sex nights? Cuddling is cool, and I will live.

Happy days!

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I'm sorry to hear about your mom! I hope everything turns out well.. And, now i bet that makes you look at herpes completely differently. And be thankful that's all you have.

High Hopes and Happy Lives!!

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smh1, I am glad you are being so positive about this, and yes it can certainly be put into perspective when compared to many other things such as cancer, however it is still only a way to rationalize having it. I just want to make sure you understand fully about it because I dont know what you meant when you wrote :

"And, i don't think herpes is the end of the world for anyone. it's a disease you can live with and while not on an OB, do everything normally."

while not having an outbreak do everything normal ...yes....such as travel, sports, walks, runs, be comfortable in general, etc....but sexually when not having an outbreak you cannot do everything normal unless you want to risk transmitting it to someone. If there was no asymptomatic shedding when you're not having outbreaks, this disease would infact not be so terrible....it is the always being able to potentially pass the virus on, even when outbreak free, that makes this disease so bad.

wishing you continued happiness

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HSV2=Blessing in Disguise

I have had HSV2 for 3 years.

When my ex first informed me of his status (after we had been intimate) I tried to be realistic...it could be worse...at least I know now...maybe he'll be the one and I will never have to be the one telling...

He wasn't, but it's still not that bad.

After my relationship with my ex was over, I was almost glad to have HSV2. I had engaged in some pretty embarassingly self-destructive sexual behaviour in my past, especially in response to bad break-ups (as if there's any other kind). I am honestly lucky that HSV2 has been the only consequence.

HSV2 protects me now. Morally, I could never put another person at risk without their knowing. Nevertheless it's possibly one of the most humiliating self-disclosures out there. It has made me think long and hard about who and what I want to let into my body and as a result, I have avoided the type of dangerous, casual, unprotected sex I previously engaged in. In addition, I have an enourmous amount of respect for the one new man I have allowed in, with all the information he deserves. If he loves me like this, if he waited to be intimate with me through all those weeks it took me to gather the courage to tell him my status, then he's gotta be worth it. So far he is, but if we ever go our separate ways, I know that the combination of HSV2 and my conscience will protect me from returning to my old risky behaviours...

If only I could have developed the same self-respect without HSV2 Dx... but that's a lesson I own now, and I will proceed to apply it to other areas of my life.

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Boxofrain, i guess i never really thought of that because doing sexual things is about the last thing on my priority list. so when i start doing those things, i'll take some precautions, but it's certainly not going to stop me. and my boyfriend could care lessabout me having it, esp. since i'm pretty sure he's where i got it. i guess i just don't want to dwell on it. and i'm not going to let herpes, or anything else stop me from what i want to do.

tkxetf, i'm glad you're being positive about it too! i hope i can remain positive about this unlucky thing in my life. & good luck with your current relationship.

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Feels good

Thanks for acknowledging me, smh1. I thought I was coming here in search of information about having children, which I am, but I never expected the positive impact of two-way communication...trying to help others as well. I guess the word is theraputic.

I apologize if this is not the appropriate location to post a thanks, buit I am new to the whole blog thing.

In look forward to continuing this discussion with all involved.

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I want to say thank you to you positibe people.

I was diagnosed a few days ago also and I too agree it is not the end of the world...not grant it, my outbreaks have been very mild, but the thing that concerns me the most is telling someone.........so I was out with a male co worker/friend last night and I told him I was going to use him as my ginue(sp?) pig............I told him I had herpies and he says "Shit that does not scare me"..Transgender indiviuals and AIDS scares me" "Heck E, you know how many girls I know with Herpies" Told him it was genital and he stepped back a moment, but still didn't care.

It's great if you can get to know someone well enough to the point that they even "know you", ya know? But I imagine that is not always going to be the case. I will deal with that when I start looking to be in a relationship. Right now I am glad that this is all I have........I would rather have this than be a girl I work with who has 4 children and recently divorced with a dead beat dad and living like hell with her mom.

She can't even afford to get an apartment. Now THAT is horrible.

She had 4 children and having a tough tough time taking care of them.

Well either way.........trying to stay positive, can't believe I am doing so well considering I am normally a negative person.....but than again it is usually the little shit that bothers me.

Take care all and thanks for listening.


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thanks for your support

all of you are wonderfull people

you are all so positive

Thanks i look forward to getting to

know you all better and im praying for

those obs to leave us in peace

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    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
    • FeelingLost75
      How are you doing now?
    • TS4real
      May 13 ( day I will never forget).. a guy I was dating and I drank way to much and decided to have anal sex. We did use protection however, not enough lube, wasn’t done correctly and it was painful. So bad that I yelled out and fell off the bed. Anyway, oral was also performed on me anal and vaginal. Flash forward to 3-4 days after that. I was in the most intense pain I had ever felt. I went to a gyn she tool one look and said it looks like herpes. She swabbed me . 2 days after that, yes it’s HSV1 . I was still in pain, irritated anal area and vaginal area and It was unbearable.  today, I still have irritation and itchy and when I pass a bowel i’m in pain and the itch is crazy.     When I first was diagnoses the gyn gave me valtrex which I did not take bc I was in so much pain I could not move for 2 days.  Groin lymphs were swollen I had fever , tired etc.  I am wondering if I had taken the valtrex would it have kinda liked stopped the virus in it’s tracks enough to reproduce? Do people see a correlation between no more outbreaks and immediate initial valtrex  use ? I am 43, I never thought this wound happen as I am not a promiscuous person, I hardly date and I always use protection when I do have intercouse , have yearly std tests. I’m just so sad that i’m at this point right now . I’m trying not to get depressed but this is making my body feel miserable. I’m an avid runner and biker and mom of two teens. I feel like my life as I knew is over. I want to feel better already.
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