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I was diagnosed two and a half years ago with herpes-1. It was discovered because I had what I thought was a killer yeast infection and went in to the doctor. I quit dating for a long time because I just didn't know how to broach the subject. I've only told one person and she lives on the other side of the country so I can't just call her anytime I need advice on how to handle dating and sex. I miss sex. Don't get me wrong, I still have protected sex when I'm not having outbreaks, but my "lack of interest" when I have outbreaks has caused more than one guy to decide I couldn't keep him satisfied. Now I'm dating this wonderful and I don't know how to bring it up. We've only been sleeping together for a few weeks, but I can feel the irritation and I don't know how to explain that we won't be able to do anything for a little while. If anyone has any advice for me it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you... just for being here.

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look.... I realize it sucks to have this conversation..... I don't EVER want to have it.... but you guys are already sleeping together?? I think you really need to be having this conversation BEFORE you are sleeping with someone!!! Although you were "careful", you know as well as I that there are no guarantees for that. Maybe this is harsh, and maybe I'm wrong... but I have a feeling you will have a much harder time getting a guy to accept this issue when you DO decide to tell him, if you have already decieved him by not saying anything sooner. You're breaking the trust in your relationship before you give him the chance to accept you as is.... and who wants to knowingly put themselves in a dishonest relationship??? Just some food for thought. I hope it all works out for you.

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hi, i am new to all this, but I realized how little knowledge there is around this topic. My friend had this for years and didn't even know she could pass it on outside of times with ob's. She evntually passed it on during an ob.

Possibly you are not aware that there is the asymptomatic shedding, and even using precaution does not mean you can't infect him.

The decision about this risk to be taken should be given to him, as I am sure everyone of us would have liked to have taken the risk knowingly.

I think if you wanna give your relationship the slightest chance to have a future the talk has to come on, he might have already been infected.

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Aprildawn, this is going to sound harsh I know, but as you've had TWO AND A HALF YEARS to get yourself educated about this, I find it hard to believe you don't know that you can pass this on at any time. If you genuinely didn't know, it's not too late to alter your ways.

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Tell Him!

First of all, I was infected by someone who did not tell me until it was too late. I acknowledge my contribution to the situatuation by having unprotected sex with him, but the resulting mistrust colored the relationship (which lasted 2 more years) from a very early stage.

I am now in a realtionship with a man I hope to be with forever. Before we were ever intimate I just squeezed my eyes shut really tight, put my hands over my face and said the words I had been dreading for three years. He said, "Don't cry, I appreciate you even more for giving me a choice in the matter... our morality tells us that this is the right thing to do and that tells me more about you than your Dx."

After the intial humiliation dissipated, I was able to realize how special he is on a whole new level. Don't sell your partner short, in terms of his right to decide or his ability to deal with the situation. You may be pleasantly surprised. And would you really want to be with someone who couldn't accept you for who you truly are? You deserve to know how committed he is to you in this respect, the same as he deserves to know.

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    • scurrred
      I had an IGG test  and the ranges were out of range and high  HSV 1 was 42 and HSV 2 was 19 so I guess it was accurate but the problem now is I can't figure out when or who I got it from. In 2018 to 2019 when I was with my ex I was STD tested but not sure if herpes was included but my ex was supposed to get tested but refused. I experienced some trauma with him and didn't date until a year and a half later so I'm confused. The guy I dated after the ex who didn't want to be tested I told them a week ago about my results he was trying to be there for me and understanding,I told him to get tested but to request a herpes blood test , because he had no noticeable lesions or bumps ever is what he said and I never noticed any on him now he has shut down all his social media and I can't reach him. Hoping he's okay, I feel bad because in 2018 I did have what I was told it was an abrasion that tingled but at my doctor the day I was tested they told me it wasn't herpes but I think it was only a visible diagnosis. I keep having it reoccur from time to time 
    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
    • FeelingLost75
      How are you doing now?
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