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melissaz

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melissaz Newbie

melissaz

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Posted

I am new to this site and find it very informative and encouraging. I recently met a wonderful man who has herpes. I must say at first when he came out and told me I was a little scared. Instead of living fearful or running the other direction, I decided he is worth it. I am going to educate myself as much as I can, and I think it really helps that he is completely open to discuss all aspects of herpes. There are a few things I don't really know and am willing and open to listen if you could help with advice. I guess the first question I have is about the shedding process, what are the signs? I want to persue a romantic relationship with him including oral sex, how can I avoid getting herpes passed into my mouth? Is it only when a person is shedding or is having a breakout when herpes is contagious? Thanks to all of you on this forum it definately takes courage to be honest!

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daisy#1 Honeycomb Member

daisy#1

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Posted

it is nice to hear you making a sacrifice on this guy, because it gives me hope that someday someone will make that sacrifice for me!

as for your question, as far as I know, it is contagious before (the shedding period) an outbreak, during an outbreak, and after an outbreak. My guess is a week before and week after, although I'm not positive. I don't think there is any signs of shedding, I think that's just the term they us. I've heard that you feel tingling in the area before you have an outbreak, so maybe he feels different right before he has on and that might be the only way for you to know before he gets an ob.

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Guest dangermouse

Guest dangermouse

Posted
Posted

Hey Melissaz,

I was in your situation a few years ago. My girlfriend had quite bad outbreaks, so we knew when to avoid sex : as soon as the "prodromal" sensations started (when she felt an outbreak coming on) and then until a few days after the sores healed. Of course, in between outbreaks there are supposed to be about an average of 15 days a year on average when people have "asymptomatic shedding" (they are contagious but don't have any visible sores at the time). For that reason, we used condoms (female ones were quite good) but didn't use suppressive therapy (Valtrex taken daily). After 18 months together, I was still negative.

DM

PS A Californian called Daisy - you seem to me like you'll have no trouble finding a guy! Hang on in there.

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    • FeelingLost75
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      By FeelingLost75 · Posted

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      Tell me your symptoms

      By FeelingLost75 · Posted

      How are you doing now?
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