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One month and counting


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Hi, I've just been diagnosed with herpes close to the first of the month. I am in a relationship with the person who gave it to me, who I also lost my virginity to. I was so shocked because I had waited 22 years to have sex and had been so incredibly careful (using condoms every time) and ended up getting herpes anyways from oral sex. I still don't know how I feel about everything, I feel as though my dating life is over if I the relationship that I'm in now were to ever not work out. I have told 3 of my friends and my boyfriend who was just as shocked as I was. When I was diagnosed I went into the clinic knowing what I had thanks to self diagnosis on the internet. The woman just looked at me like she was telling me I had cancer or something and pulled in other people to look at it because they hadn't seen it before. Needless to say, I felt absolutely horrible and that was one of the worst experiences I've ever had. Luckily I have switched clinics and have the most wonderful doctor ever now. I spent awhile just talking to her and she shook my hand and looked me in the eye and told me I wasn't a bad person and I didn't do anything wrong but had just gotten unlucky. I guess I don't know what else to say other than the fact that I can't stop thinking about it and wondering if or when I will get another outbreak and what will happen if I ever have to tell someone else about this. I want things to go back to the way they were but I know that can't happen. I just wish I never would have gotten it but now that I have it I'm trying to keep a really positive outlook. It has been hard but we'll see how it goes.

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so sorry to hear you have this virus too.

i found out last week myself. i know exactly how u feel.

embarrassed....mad....sad... all at once too. its very over whelming at times.

im still in the middle of my ob. 1st one. it has been a challenge to say the least.

its real easy to place blame on your partner. believe me when i heard i had it... the drive home i barely rememeber because i was upset. and i just gave everything i had in my hands to bobby(my husband) pamplets they gave me..the valtrex pills and ahh yes the bag of condoms (like id even want to have sex now) ya know.

but now ive known a week and ive found online support and the shock of it all has worn off so i can think a little clearer.

and theres really no way to tell who had it first. has your bf been tested?

i told mine he had to go cause i have to know if he has it too.

not that it makes much difference now but i think not knowing is worse. for me anyways.

how long was your ob?

i hope you dont get another. i have read ALOT online this past week and stress seems to be a cause for some ob's so try to relax and try not to worry about the next one. hopefully you will be one of those people who get one and never have another.

i sure hope so.

good luck

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Wow, i'm pretty sure you're the only person on here with like the exact situation as myself. I was also diagnosed somewhere at the beginning of this month. I've always been careful like yourself, with only one sexual partner, my current boyfriend, and i think i caught it through oral sex as well, because i know my boyfriend gets coldsores. And i think we have about the same outlook on the whole situation. You're just the older version of me =]. I'm 18.

But i hope everything goes well for you! At least you're abe to tell people, so educate them on how easily you can get the virus, and you definitely don't have to be some huge slut to get an STD, obviously.

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Thanks! It is nice to know there are others out there who know how I feel. My friends have been awesome but until you go through something like this I feel like you can't fully understand how it feels. I am surprised all of the stigmas that I had surrounding STDs that just aren't true. If it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone.

I hope things are going better for you! Thank you again!

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    • CHT
      Hello "FeelingLost".... your fears and concerns are understandable but, nothing you've described regarding the sexual encounter would cause you to contract herpes.... further, your symptoms are not herpes related.  Best of all, your doctor is correct, your results don't show any herpes here.  You can relax.... definitely have your GP take a look at things and see what might be causing the symptoms but, again, none of them are typical herpes related.  I wish you the best in terms of talking to your wife about this encounter.... hopefully she will understand and you both can work through this amicably.  We all make mistakes.... be careful not to beat yourself up too hard over this.... you can become so racked with guilt that you start imagining physical symptoms.  Best of luck.... and take care..... come back to the site if you have questions.
    • FeelingLost75
      Hi (I’m really scared and feel really disappointed in myself and worried about my future), I had oral sex with a condom almost 3 weeks ago and a massage parlor. I also received a hand job at the same time prior to putting a condom on, also may have rubbed my penis on her back a little. Did not touch her genitals I don’t recall any sores on her back. After the event she handed me a pice of TP and after I took off the condom I wiped my penis head to clear away the excess ejaculation…this is where I suspect I got infected, she had just gone pee and wiped and maybe touched a sore or something and then I got it on my penis from the tp? Idk. I’m just flailing.   After this I’ve had discomfort on the skin below the head of my penis and 4 bumps for 2 weeks now, the bumps don’t seem to have changed in size. I also had frequent urination for about a week and have had dull pain in my groin on and off. I also have some pins and needles on the sides of my abdomen/trunk that get worse when I go out in the heat or get dehydrated. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping, likely due to guilt and shame and worry about the future.   so I got one test done at 10 days from the event (idk know if this can tell me anything… the doctor assured me it was 100% correct and I don’t have herpes. I was not physically examined). I got a full panel std. neg for everything. HSV-1 results: IgG 0.3 / HSV-2 IgG 0.9 hsv-1 IgM = 2.2 hsv-2 IgM = 3.0 (Reference V. Negative: Less than 9.0 Borderline: 9.0 to 11.0 Positive: Greater than 11.0) I have an appointment with my GP on Thursday, hoping he can help. Will likely go to a std testing service tomorrow to see if I can get in an antiviral proactively. Plan to get tested again this week.    
    • TS4real
    • FeelingLost75
      How are you doing now?
    • TS4real
      May 13 ( day I will never forget).. a guy I was dating and I drank way to much and decided to have anal sex. We did use protection however, not enough lube, wasn’t done correctly and it was painful. So bad that I yelled out and fell off the bed. Anyway, oral was also performed on me anal and vaginal. Flash forward to 3-4 days after that. I was in the most intense pain I had ever felt. I went to a gyn she tool one look and said it looks like herpes. She swabbed me . 2 days after that, yes it’s HSV1 . I was still in pain, irritated anal area and vaginal area and It was unbearable.  today, I still have irritation and itchy and when I pass a bowel i’m in pain and the itch is crazy.     When I first was diagnoses the gyn gave me valtrex which I did not take bc I was in so much pain I could not move for 2 days.  Groin lymphs were swollen I had fever , tired etc.  I am wondering if I had taken the valtrex would it have kinda liked stopped the virus in it’s tracks enough to reproduce? Do people see a correlation between no more outbreaks and immediate initial valtrex  use ? I am 43, I never thought this wound happen as I am not a promiscuous person, I hardly date and I always use protection when I do have intercouse , have yearly std tests. I’m just so sad that i’m at this point right now . I’m trying not to get depressed but this is making my body feel miserable. I’m an avid runner and biker and mom of two teens. I feel like my life as I knew is over. I want to feel better already.
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